S/o I manage asks me to sign off on her mitching off work

[Folicky]

I manage someone who writes ambiguous emails to me which I need to approve as her manager. The bit that she's trying to slip in is usually not given centre stage, indeed you would often not know that it is the subject of the email. I might reply, yes that's okay only to find out that something that has incidentally been mentioned actually give her the licence to be off work for a few days allegedly working on it. It I try to clarify the request, I am accused of being autistic. If I pull her up on not covering her workload, she says I'm overly conscientious. I would say I do like to do a good job but that I don't overdo it and I'm not a perfectionist. I'm a big Prieto principle, FlyLady adherent. Any advice for dealing with this skiving and vexatious complaints if you try to manage it. It's maddening and having a serious effect on wellbeing and my family life, not the substance of my job, this bullshit. I trained somewhere else and that is definitely part of the picture here

@AProperStinging

I would refer to the previous sentence where she said that she likes to do a good job but is not a perfectionist. I would infer that the methods she then references as supplementary information are frameworks about efficiency, though I am aware of FlyLady from other threads. It's a simple sentence that does not appear pivotal to the overall meaning.

I don't think you have to understand every single reference and bit of vocabulary to be able to glean an overall meaning.

The point I was making is that her whole post is very difficult to understand.

It's not only the specific references used as if they're universally understood.

It's not only the broken grammar, lack of punctuation or paragraphs, and strange sentence structures.

It's not only the clashing registers (regional speech, idiosyncratic and ambiguous abbreviations, business-speak, swearing).

But the overall effect of all of these in one short post is very disconcerting and confusing to read.

And it's a post which claims that it's the other person whose communication style is causing all the problems. I'm sceptical about that.

Maybe find a mentor either inside or outside of your organisation. You should either be able to manage this person and it should not encroach on your personal life in the way you describe. If you cannot find the support you need in your company, reach out elsewhere.

Be clear in your instructions and in your responses. If she deliberately misinterprets your responses and does not turn up to work, make it clear that she is always required to be at work. If she suggests you are autistic, remind her that such a statement is inappropriate and that should she continue, you will be obliged to make a formal record of her inappropriate use of discriminatory language. If she does not do the work required of her, set clear goals, check in points and reviews. If she does not meet expectations, identify any gaps in training and put her on a formal performance improvement plan.

If the structures are not in place to support you in these measures but you are otherwise happy in your job either find a way to get on with the rest of your job and stop letting this woman take up so much head space or start looking elsewhere.

I might reply, yes that's okay only to find out that something that has incidentally been mentioned actually give her the licence to be off work for a few days allegedly working on it

Have you let this happen more than once?

Sorry that the message was unclear, I was at my wits' end earlier. Also, I didn't know I had sent this post as the browser on my PC told me I had timed out. Hence the double thread.

My line manager tells me that as long as she is delivering on her job plan then I can't do anything more about it. Her and everyone else's job plan is vague enough...see x amount of clients; do a service improvement project. I guess monthly line management meetings are meant to tighten that up and I will be firmer in that. Although it's not really the done thing in this geographical region.

There's a history here. When I started this job I came from a closely related but slightly different sector where I had achieved a lot for my age (grants, awards, publications, prizes) and was on a good salary. When I moved to my current job, they matched my previous salary and this resulted in me actually being paid more than my previous line manager who was very put out by this as she was senior to me. At that time I had an employee who was doing private work during working hours etc and I tried to manage it. My previous line manager did not support me with this and when I tried to manage this employee, she (the employee) started the informal part of a grievance against me, which often happens. Because it wasn't resolved, some mud stuck to me as well as to the employee who still works in the organisation although not my team.

The sector I moved to interfaces closely with the sector I used to work in. Think along the lines of medical school and hospital Trust, although not that, but similar and smaller. When I changed sector, I also changed location. So in the new location, I had a new set of relationships in the new sector and a new set of relationships at the interface with the sector I came from (although in a different place). The head honcho there (medical school n the example but not in real life) was very competitive with me. I think this was because on paper I looked better and this continued in spite of me repeatedly saying that I had relocated as a sideways move (ie was not looking for his job) and was relocating to start a family. So he had and spread a negative view of me, which added to the muck. This was along the lines of bringing London-centric standards to a different region. All of this has been quite disabling. If I do anything these people disagree with, they trot out this bs. Even, as many posters have observed, I’m probably undoing some things now. Other readers on MN must have experienced similar office politics.

Unfortunately in terms of career, I cannot relocate or change job easily as I have relatives here and now have a family of my own and it's a small pond.

My main worry is that the organisation I work for will think I’m too much bother if hassle like this keeps cropping up and yet I can’t afford to lose my job or jump ship.

I can’t really let people skive as the area we work in manages a lot of risk.

My current line manager is an interim appointment and she was very good, until this employee trotted out the overly conscientious line. It is also horrible to be painted in this way. Before I moved, I was supported to manage people when it was required and the whole team flourished so this is all horrible.

@ChateauMargaux "If the structures are not in place to support you in these measures but you are otherwise happy in your job either find a way to get on with the rest of your job and stop letting this woman take up so much head space or start looking elsewhere." If I could I would. I can't let her skive, the area I work in carries too much risk. I also can't do her work for her, although she's excellent at delegating upwards, as I don't have the time and its not the sort of thing you can skim on.

Dare I ask.. are you in Ireland?

This reminds me of the thread where an op was annoyed someone was giving out to her kids. Chaos ensued. Pure chaos. Giving out what? 😂😂😂

shes either doing her job and delivering her objectives or she's not so focus on that rather than the mitching.

It sounds like you need some assertiveness training and to fully understand your employees contacts and your employers policies.

You know she sneaks things into her email so I would read her emails more carefully. If you're agreeing to it make sure you know what it is.

If she is "accusing you of being autistic" I'd consider speaking to HR.

You need to do replies to emails with your comments to each section underneath the section in a different colour. You can can say, thanks for the email please see response below in blue.

No wriggling out of that.

Alternatively leave this shit company for a better one.

i would put in place a system for all your staff whereby requests for work are required to include what it is, what the outputs are who benefits and how and how long it is anticipated this work will take. I’ve never thought being conscientious was an insult… how bizarre. As a manager you should have an understanding of what they’re working on and whether it should be prioritised over anything else.

You need to absolutely nail down her objectives. Specific, measurable, agreed, timebound.
Document a specific task you need her to do and ask her to say when she will do it by then hold her to it. Document you supporting her. Document if she misses it. Then you can proceed to a performance improvement plan with help from HR.

If she's meeting her objectives but you think she isn't then the objectives are too vague, not right, or you don't understand them. All of those are on you to fix.

What I've also found is doing this as a team works better. Have a priorities session to share what you're working on where everyone gives an update, weekly if possible. Good people will find they work better together and bad people will be easier to challenge. Each week document what they've done in the last week and what they're doing next week, challenge where the plans for next week didn't happen. Email out a summary to everyone of what's happening in the team, preferably an email chain to make it easier to keep track of.

Basically the more you help other people see what she's doing the more support you'll get. You might not see it but it's invaluable in a grievance situation as they are your witnesses and you have a paper trail. People spot things you haven't realised.

I've had to deal with a team member like this and it was awful, this is all what helped me. In future I'd just say start formal documentation earlier and be absolutely crystal clear on objectives asap.

Also document the autistic comments and flag with HR, even better if she's done them repeatedly in writing.

Set up a template for leave requests. All people you manamge must submit on that template. Have an approval/refusal template to respond. keep copies for auditing.