Retrained but shit at my new career.

[malificent7]

I was managed out of my first job after retraining due to performance issues and quickly got a new job.
I have passed my probation but feel a bit intimidated. My manager says I'm scatty but also said i have improved immensely.Basically I'm scared of her and she makes me anxious so i make more mistakes. Plus i only had 1 day off in 3 weeks which is knackering. I have a performance meeting to address some concerns on Monday. So i am feeling demoralised....i'm shit at my new career right? I annoying as i got a first in training. What next if i get managed out...again?
Im not giving too many details as outing.

Trouble is there are utter wallies everywhere and they seem to be prevalent in healthcare.

Trouble is ive had this throughout my working life...perhaps im the common denominator?

If i contact hr with my concerns will it make magement behave worse towards me?

@Openmuddyfields

one day off in three weeks IS knackering! (And is that even legal?!)

No it isn't legal. Minimum 1 day off in 7 or 2 in 14

@malificent7

Trouble is there are utter wallies everywhere and they seem to be prevalent in healthcare.

My experience of healthcare is that there are some fantastic people and some real Bullies. Some teams/departments have a very survival of the fittest approach and are not supportive of anyone new. Others are the opposite. Sounds as if you've been unlucky in both so far. Trouble is that you can start believing you are useless when in fact it is the lack of a supportive environment that's actually to blame. Try and stay for a year before you move on and get a bit more bolshy and less eager to please. They might treat you differently but have a plan to leave.

Trouble is if im bolshy and less eager to please i rekon id still get a hard time! On the plus side the admin staff, my bank colleague and the porters are fantastic!

They will either respect for more for enforcing your boundaries or think you are awkward. However would that matter? Develop a thicker skin so you are less affected by comments. If you went to hr things might change. You have not yet answered whether everyone has rotas with not breaks or of you feel singled out. Chances are your managers are just passing down the pressure they are under, which is a toxic working environment and not ideal for newly qualifieds.

@malificent7

I was managed out of my first job after retraining due to performance issues and quickly got a new job. I have passed my probation but feel a bit intimidated. My manager says I'm scatty but also said i have improved immensely.Basically I'm scared of her and she makes me anxious so i make more mistakes. Plus i only had 1 day off in 3 weeks which is knackering. I have a performance meeting to address some concerns on Monday. So i am feeling demoralised....i'm shit at my new career right? I annoying as i got a first in training. What next if i get managed out...again? Im not giving too many details as outing.

Are you in a union? if not join one. You get tax relief on your subs so it's so cheap per month.

Ask their advice. I am having issues at work at the moment and they are supporting me all the way. They are even providing support services like counselling and options for moving on.

I can't stress enough. Join your Union!!!!

@malificent7

Trouble is ive had this throughout my working life...perhaps im the common denominator?

This can be what life with neurodiversity looks like. Great when things go well, but tend to cop the rough end of gaslighting and toxic environments. Proper assessment can help you understand why this is happening and help you protect yourself from it.

Latest update...i sent an incorrect spreadsheet to another hospital ( as my boss didnt explain properly!) Now boss says to me hospital are rhinking of pulling the contract from this hospital! Now I know that if they do it is DEFINATELY NOT my fault but its the fact that she has used this as emotional manipulation that pisses me off! Its laughable!

When you are getting that level of toxic manipulation, it's rarely worth sticking around.

Additionally the boss sent the email highlighting my mistake to the entire department when they did not need to know!

Ibknow as she sent me a copt too!

It started...

Hi all,

Malificent has done x, y and z!

She says I should talk to her if i have any problems but she is the least approachable person ever!

Can you go over her head? Or get a lateral transfer? This sounds like workplace bullying and gaslighting. I've been where you are. Do not trust her.

I've contacted HR. I do not trust the woman. In our 1st meeting she was in tears s someone ad complained about her.

As* sorry for typos...i was upset when i wrote that stuff.

I don't blame you! You mention the previous complaints against her- some people will last or at their juniors when they are feeling insecure.

I think that it is important to remember that you cannot manage up. It is impossible for you to alter her behaviour.

In your shoes, I would be very, very reluctant to have her doing any more appraisals or feedback on me.

Hi all. Thought i's update you. I'm still at same job but applied for. another. I am grieving for a good start to my career...i feel like I have had a very rocky journey and. I am sad as I am so passionate about it bit feel so utterly rubbish at it. This is compounded by the fact that my course peers seem to love their jobs. So i love my subject, got a 1st but cannot perform. I feel a real fraud.
Had meeting with HR and different line manager. I am now having fortnightly meetings.
I have just heard that they have employed 2 new people just qualified for £4,500 more than me! ( heard via a friend who knows newbie). I am sad as they advertised the job at the higher rate then bargained me down. I was stupid enough to go for it. Should i ask to be paid the same? I bet that they will cite my "performance " isdues as a reason not to.

Issues*