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Original poster

My wife has an offer of a fantastic new job but we were planning on having our second child

60 replies

justanotherguy123 · 30/12/2021 11:45

I hope you can help, My wife has been offered a really good position.
She had some ongoing frictions at work with her current manager, so was just testing the waters outside.
She did give some interviews earlier and was onto final rounds at one company, when she pulled back. Lately, an opportunity on linkedin with the previous (interviewed) company got her talking to them again. They were keen to have her on board from the previous interview notes and although the advertised position was no longer available, they are creating another one to get her in (with additional rounds of interviews done). I have to add that she's got the gift of the gab, hence this job, even negotiating the offered compensation higher which was already 50% more than her current. Its also a work from home position, so no commute except for some occasional travel & is a couple of leaps up the ladder.

Our first child was conceived within a month when we tried 8 years ago, but now older so I suppose will take time.
I am work from home as well with flexibility around work times. I currently do all the school runs etc with our current one, so no problems around helping out.
Its a difficult decision for her/(us?)
Should she stay in her current & look out once all of this is over with, we are not sure about the timeline in that case.
Or go for the new one.

Any opinions, thoughts will be much appreciated.

OP posts:
MargeSimpson00 · 30/12/2021 11:48

I think she would be mad to turn down the new job

sillisosij · 30/12/2021 11:48

Take the job! You never know timescale with TTC.

Focalpoint · 30/12/2021 11:48

Go for the new one.

pigcon1 · 30/12/2021 11:48

I guess it depends on what she would like to do.

Clymene · 30/12/2021 11:48

Go for the new job.

AgnesNaismith · 30/12/2021 11:49

She should do what she wants to do.

Treedown · 30/12/2021 11:50

take it take it!

bigred22 · 30/12/2021 11:51

What would she prefer to do? If you've already waited 8yrs what's a few more months for the sake of being in a much better position 🤷🏻‍♀️

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 30/12/2021 11:51

Go for the job and get settled then try. Of course it also depends on your ages, if she is in her 40s things may take a lot longer than if she's in her earlier 30s.

What does she want to do?

Also you don't 'help out' when they are your own children, it suggests you say childcare as primarily your wife's role. Doing the school run just means you parent them.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2021 11:51

Take it, a bloke wouldn’t even ask this question, he’d go for it.

Original poster
justanotherguy123 · 30/12/2021 11:57

Thanks
What does she want to do?
If it were not for trying for a child, she would have totally gone for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
justanotherguy123 · 30/12/2021 12:04

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Go for the job and get settled then try. Of course it also depends on your ages, if she is in her 40s things may take a lot longer than if she's in her earlier 30s.

What does she want to do?

Also you don't 'help out' when they are your own children, it suggests you say childcare as primarily your wife's role. Doing the school run just means you parent them.

You are right.. worded it incorrectly I like to think I have to do more for my DD than the missus, since DD shares the same birthday as me. Doesn't happen often that a doctor says happy birthday while handing over your first born to you to hold Smile
OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 30/12/2021 12:11

Why would you do more for your dd than your wife because you share a birthday?

But yes your wife should take the job. Wait a few months and start ttc if that’s what she wants to do still. You need to look up how long she needs to be somewhere before she’s entitled to maternity leave. If it’s a 50% pay rise then childcare should be affordable.

FawnFrenchieMum · 30/12/2021 12:20

As long as she’s not already pregnant on her start date she would be entitled to SMP, if you need enhanced Mat Pay then you will need to look into it more carefully re dates. Given the pay rise I’m guessing the two would be equaled out pretty quickly anyway.

FawnFrenchieMum · 30/12/2021 12:21

And your comments about doing stuff for your child and your birthdays are just weird.

Tippexy · 30/12/2021 12:25

It's a shame you feel she only got this new job and increased salary "because she has the gift of the gab," rather than due to her skills and talents.

Wotagain · 30/12/2021 12:25

@FawnFrenchieMum

And your comments about doing stuff for your child and your birthdays are just weird.
I’m sure it was meant as a throwaway comment.
Tippexy · 30/12/2021 12:25

Interesting that you describe parenting your child as "helping out."

teaandchocolate1 · 30/12/2021 12:29

Hi, I fell pregnant in June, the same week I started my new job, which is also significantly better compensated than my old job

I told my managers when I was about 17 weeks pregnant.

They took it well and will also pay me the full statutory maternity leave, although I'm not entitled to it.

In your wife's shoes I would take the new job and ttc at the same time.

tara66 · 30/12/2021 12:31

Let her/encourage her to take the job and ''play it by ear'' as they say.

fruitbrewhaha · 30/12/2021 12:31

It's depressing isn't it? No man has had to consider taking a new role when they are family planning. Even Boris Johnson has had another baby when I would have thought he was in the busiest and most pressured job.

Of course she should take the job. Check out the dates for SMP and enhanced mat pay and see how long you want to hang on for either. She could take less than a year mat leave and you could take paternity leave.

tara66 · 30/12/2021 12:33

Why have you waited 8 years to have another child?

Linguini · 30/12/2021 12:40

@tara66

Why have you waited 8 years to have another child?
That's a completely irrelevant and rude question
Original poster
justanotherguy123 · 30/12/2021 12:41

Wotagain

I’m sure it was meant as a throwaway comment.

@Wotagain Thank you for understanding

OP posts:
Linguini · 30/12/2021 12:41

She should take the job.
You can be SAHD so she can go back full time when baby is weaned.