My wife has an offer of a fantastic new job but we were planning on having our second child

[justanotherguy123]

I hope you can help, My wife has been offered a really good position.
She had some ongoing frictions at work with her current manager, so was just testing the waters outside.
She did give some interviews earlier and was onto final rounds at one company, when she pulled back. Lately, an opportunity on linkedin with the previous (interviewed) company got her talking to them again. They were keen to have her on board from the previous interview notes and although the advertised position was no longer available, they are creating another one to get her in (with additional rounds of interviews done). I have to add that she's got the gift of the gab, hence this job, even negotiating the offered compensation higher which was already 50% more than her current. Its also a work from home position, so no commute except for some occasional travel & is a couple of leaps up the ladder.

Our first child was conceived within a month when we tried 8 years ago, but now older so I suppose will take time.
I am work from home as well with flexibility around work times. I currently do all the school runs etc with our current one, so no problems around helping out.
Its a difficult decision for her/(us?)
Should she stay in her current & look out once all of this is over with, we are not sure about the timeline in that case.
Or go for the new one.

Any opinions, thoughts will be much appreciated.

And this is why sex based issues matter.

I’m in a similar position to your wife in that I’ve just accepted a new job to start in a month’s time, a big step up in responsibility and salary. But our family is complete so I don’t have anything seemingly to hold me back.

If I were her, I’d definitely take the new position. It means that, importantly, she will already be at a higher level when coming back to work after having the second child as opposed to having to get to that position in the future. I feel like I ‘lost’ almost ten years of coasting in a lower role while my children were younger and only now in my mid-40s am I at the level of leadership I really wanted to be in several years back. And that’s purely due to having DC (who I love dearly!). And as PP have said, you don’t know how long it will take to conceive your second - it two me two years longer than I thought it would and I was in my late 30s.

All the best.

@HacerSonarSusPasos

I like to think I have to do more for my DD than the missus, since DD shares the same birthday as me.

By that standard will the second baby be less worthy of your time and effort?

Seems like such a weird thing to fixate on

Fixate? Behave

Thank you everyone for your opinion, quite appreciate it
Seeing perspectives that we didn't see before

Congrats to your wife!
Nice problem to have! I would 100% take the job

Delay TTC a little but even she gets pregnant 6 months in to the job she will have a good year under her belt that is more than enough time to "deliver" and demonstrate your worth pre-mat leave.

Also sounds like she is generally compotent. Any of my friends that got "pregnant then screwed" were similarly good/strong candidates. When made redundant they kicked up a fuss, negotiated settlements and found new jobs before the dust had even settled.

Take the job, even if she gets pregnant now the baby won’t be here instantly.

My husband recently changed jobs for better pay and much more flexibility, we’re adopting, so I’m taking the first six months off so he can settle in etc. He will take six months, but due to when he changed jobs this will be unpaid.

Have you both looked at sharing parental leave, your wife could take a few weeks and you have the rest.

If I were her I'd take the job. If I were you, I'd take shared parental leave to help her smooth things with work.

It takes 9 months for a baby to be born so its not as though she'd get the job and go on leave straight away.

She's legally entitled to maternity leave.

Why don't YOU step up and think about what more you can do to help? I suspect you are thinking more of how it will affect you, not her.

I would take the job. TTC might not be as straight forward as you would like.

Of course she should take the job!

It’s going to be a good year before she’s on maternity, plenty of time to learn the gig before she goes off.

If the job is generally more demanding then discuss with her how you’ll split childcare when she goes back. Will you do shared parental leave - great if you can, her employers will appreciate that. Who will do pickups, how much childcare will you need etc.

Finally, are you sure you want to start the baby stage again?! 9 years is a big gap, having kids at such different stages will bring its own challenges with different interests etc, though easier than having two under twos for sure.