Tell me not to resign

[Itonlymakesyoustronger]

Good morning people.

Holding myself back from resigning this morning, im a employee who is always on time, and works without sickies etc. however after 4 years of working in my work place I requested for half a day working at home as I cant get child care cover for my son. However manager agreed and said that's all fine. then comes in this morning saying change one of your working days instead, to which I said I cannot as this week my childminder has got Covid so I'm really struggling for child care. He then goes this is the last time something like this happens and I wont tolerate it in the future. WTF?

Please tell me I am not been unreasonable for asking for literally 2.5hrs to work from home after all these years?!

Just say sorry I've already made the arrangements and that won't be possible. And look for another job. And meanehile next time you aren't feeling great take time of sick.

I’ll bite my tongue because my advice wouldn’t be leaning towards encouraging you not to resign lol.

But take care of yourself first op. Don’t give them more than they deserve, don’t overwork yourself. Take sick leaves when needed.

Those corporations don’t give a flying fudge about their employees, so why should you give them all of you?

And I agree with VivienneMary 100%

Your childcare issue is not your employer’s problem though?
I hear what you’re saying but I think there sounds like a history of childcare related absence by his comment.

VivienneMarys advice is the very worst of advice and exactly why some working mums are often thought to take the piss.

@Viviennemary

Just say sorry I've already made the arrangements and that won't be possible. And look for another job. And meanehile next time you aren't feeling great take time of sick.

Yup. What @Viviennemary said.

Once i realised i didnt have to be a good corporate citizen to my job and established all my rights and started exercising those rights, my life got a whole lot easier.

Don’t resign. Do start looking for another job.

Established all your rights?
What about the employers rights to get fair work done by his/her employees without the distraction of childcare issues?

The manager had already given permission and is now backtracking. Thats why I advised OP to make a stand. If permission was refused in the first place then that would be different.

Had very similar situation with my NHS manager (who allowed herself to work from home the entire 2 WEEKS her 15 year old daughter was isolating). I asked for 2 afternoons to work from home and look after my 2 year old alongside DH so we could split the load while his childcare was closed due to covid outbreak and was told to take annual leave. There was ample work for me to do at home for that short period of time but she was being awkward for the sake of it.

I worked f2f throughout the pandemic, did well beyond my hours to cover for members of our team who had to shield or were on long term sick leave. I did her a lot of other favours too, including switching my working days to suit the team so others could take annual leave (despite it costing me more in childcare)

It was the final straw. I applied for a new job, got it and now have the most wonderful flexible manager who appreciates how hard I work. Don't resign just yet but start making plans to find an employer who appreciates you

It is (or should be) give and take. If you're a good, reliable employee, than being denied a little flexibility is unreasonable.

It reminds me of a job I once had where I worked serious amounts of unpaid overtime, then got push back when I asked for a couple of hours off due to a personal commitment. Some people are all take and no give.

@Newwifeatnumber10 . I Wish you had read the post correctly. when did I say that I have asked multiple times before and when did I write that childcare has been an issue before. It has never been an issue because I have child care in place, but its only this one afternoon where all my child care resources are unavailable.

@Viviennemary Yes he back tracked. I feel like I do more then what I should anyways, I'm underpaid and not to mention that he spoke so rudely.

Don't resign. Do find a new job and when you leave tell him you are leaving due to the fact you have once asked for flexibility. He agreed then backtracked and made out it was a huge issue when it is the only time you have asked in 4 years!

He made me feel so low - I didnt even look him in the eye. I just said 'I understand'. but I was close to crying because its hard enough woryying about stuff like this, on a low paid job but the fact your boss is also intidtaing does not help.

I guess im just a weak person

thats was meant to say intimidating

OP I did read your post correctly. Your boss said “this is the last time ….” Strange comment If it was the first time? Regardless of how many times, your childcare issues are not your employers problem. I’d be willing to guess that if your child has been poorly you’ve taken time off, etc so it’s highly unlikely to be the first and only time.

@Newwifeatnumber10

Your childcare issue is not your employer’s problem though? I hear what you’re saying but I think there sounds like a history of childcare related absence by his comment.

Employers with this attitude are the ones who lose staff. Or lost the motivation, loyalty and 'giving extra over' of the staff who do stay.

Employers who are flexible reap the rewards of staff retention and high staff motivation and productivity.

You can't work and look after a young child, from an employers perspective.

So you need to either ask to take the time off unpaid / as annual leave/ as time you will make up later that day or week.

It's not an unreasonable request, but you haven't been clear what the quid pro quo is for your employer. I say this as a mum & manager who is very flexible with my staff.

You can't work and look after a young child, from an employers perspective

Staff have literally been doing this for a year during lockdown.

If an employee chooses to leave because they don’t have adequate childcare is not something within most employer’s control.
Flexibility is often offered and more wanted and taken.

Okay so lets get this clear I have worked there 4 years, never take a sick leave or use absence when myself or child is ill. I have a child minder who is flexible according to my rota. When child minder is unable to have my child my parents normally take him. However my child minder has got covid so therefore self-isolating and my parents are actually away on holiday. My husband has taken the whole week off to look after our son whilst Im in the office working, however my husband needs to go in for the afternoon as he has an important meeting. This is the ONLY time i have requested to work from home and only for that 2.5hrs. Yes @Newwifeatnumber10 he said this is the last time because it he wants it to be the last time as i have never had the nerve to ask or take time off. but as its impossible to get someone to have my son for 2.5hr on that day as the last option I asked.

As you mention childcare is not the employers business, i agree it is not however I believe they should be understanding and adoptive when a situation arises like this.

By all means his lost my respect.

@Newwifeatnumber10 You really are sticking out like a sore thumb right now.

It sounds like he was either having a bad day or has staffing issue which he has misdirected at you. Don't take it personally but if you are underpaid and undervalued, let this be the push to find another job.

You can't work and look after a young child, from an employers perspective
Whilst this was always the case pre-pandemic, you will be aware as a manager that the past 18 months have turned everything on its head. Countless parents have had to work with young children at home. It does not seem the slightest bit unreasonable to do for one afternoon as all dedicated employees will make up the time in the evening/night and ensure work is done to an appropriate standard.

How old is your child?
Personally, I took annual leave in those circumstances. Is that possible?
The back tracking is the worst - it would have been better if they had said no up front
Dont quit. That's cutting off your nose to spite your face. By all means look for a new job, and then resign.
Hope your feeling more positive this afternoon.

@Newwifeatnumber10

Established all your rights? What about the employers rights to get fair work done by his/her employees without the distraction of childcare issues?

My employer clear legal rights too. They also have a contract with me and my performance (which is evaluated every 6 months) has never been rated as sub par and my bonuses reflect this.

My point is rather than working myself (somewhat pointlessly) to the bone...If i need time off because i am sick, i take it. I now decline or redchedule meetings if i need to go to medical appointments. I take my full lunch hour.

The reality is good staff are hard to find if you have a good one you should offer some flex.
Her boss has flip flopped and isnt operating in good faith.

@Itonlymakesyoustronger
Do not resign but do start looking for a new job asap where you are appreciated. Ever ytime this has happened to me i ended up in a better role with a payrise so this incident may be a catalyst for positive change.

OP I may be sticking out like a sore thumb on this forum and that is because it’s full of like minded women who have children. In real life I think you’ll find my opinion is the majority. If you don’t want people to disagree don’t post on a public forum.

The pandemic may have forced many to care for children whilst WFH but that was an emergency situation that were no longer in thank goodness.

Childcare arrangements are the parents’ concern and should not affect the employer. Ever. You’d be the first to complain if your employer laid down unreasonable requests, so provide the service your employer pays for as per your contract of employment. I bet there’s no clause in there about childcare support!!