Tell me not to resign

[Itonlymakesyoustronger]

Good morning people.

Holding myself back from resigning this morning, im a employee who is always on time, and works without sickies etc. however after 4 years of working in my work place I requested for half a day working at home as I cant get child care cover for my son. However manager agreed and said that's all fine. then comes in this morning saying change one of your working days instead, to which I said I cannot as this week my childminder has got Covid so I'm really struggling for child care. He then goes this is the last time something like this happens and I wont tolerate it in the future. WTF?

Please tell me I am not been unreasonable for asking for literally 2.5hrs to work from home after all these years?!

@Newwifeatnumber10

OP I may be sticking out like a sore thumb on this forum and that is because it’s full of like minded women who have children. In real life I think you’ll find my opinion is the majority. If you don’t want people to disagree don’t post on a public forum.

The pandemic may have forced many to care for children whilst WFH but that was an emergency situation that were no longer in thank goodness.

Childcare arrangements are the parents’ concern and should not affect the employer. Ever. You’d be the first to complain if your employer laid down unreasonable requests, so provide the service your employer pays for as per your contract of employment. I bet there’s no clause in there about childcare support!!

But we are still in it, hence ops issue. If we weren't she wouldn't have this problem would she.

I think your boss is unreasonable op. It's 2.5 hours. People lose good employees acting like this.

It's 2.5 hours, it's a minor ask.

I have a large team and wouldn't think twice about agreeing. If you had to look after your son for part of your wfh time and catch up in the evening that wouldn't bother me either. I trust my team as a group of adults to get things done - people have personal commitments that get in the way sometimes, it's to be expected. We aren't robots. As long as the work is done, there shouldn't be an issue.

All your boss' attitude has done is upset and alienate a long standing member of staff, which seems ridiculous to me.

Childcare arrangements are the parents’ concern and should not affect the employer. Ever.

This is unrealistic and frankly idiotic.

I’d be willing to guess that if your child has been poorly you’ve taken time off, etc so it’s highly unlikely to be the first and only time.

Except OP says in her first post that it's her childcare provider who is ill so guess again .

I left my last job due to a shit manager. Like you I'd barely had a single day off in years, worked unpaid overtime every day and one day I got called to pick up my child from school which meant leaving an hour early, he docked my pay. The following week he got my notice. Over the following 6 months over 50% of the staff left, a year later they still haven't replaced most of us due to chronic shortages in my profession. You reap what you sow. I would absolutely encourage you to look elsewhere OP.

Bastards! Your only a number after all and so many folk don't see until something like this happens. Take a deep breath, don't resign in haste.

Do u have HR, I'm pretty certain that legally U are entitled to take unpaid parental leave for children (might be a set amount of days per yr but it's generous I'm sure).

Does he definitely know you've not asked before? It seems an odd comment if you haven't so is he getting you confused with someone else?
Anyway, the time was agreed so they should stick to it. Hopefully you have it in writing just in case.
Don't quit, but it's certainly a good idea to research other jobs and companies if you feel you wouldn't want to stay.
Many companies are realising the benefits of flexibility now.

I'm a manager of people with children and I have a child myself.

The jobs market is a buyer's market at present. And even if it were not, you would expect most employers to give - and expect - a degree of flexibility in relation to staff matters. This is not the cotton mills. The employer / employee relationship should have mutual trust and respect.

Those that don't subscribe to this view are usually the employers with high staff turnover, low morale and lower productivity.

I know what I'm talking about, I train and educate employers for a living.

The pandemic may have forced many to care for children whilst WFH but that was an emergency situation that were no longer in thank goodness

Of course we are still in it!
The childminder has covid so must isolate for 10 days...so yes we are still in it and everyday life is still negatively affected by covid.

OP I agree with others look for another job. Mangers with attitudes like that along with the odd poster on here are ineffective poor mangers who's staff do not respect them.

Bite your tongue on this occasion and next time you're ask to go the extra mile for your employees kindly refuse.
Does your workplace have a " best for families" or similar policy?
Check with your union or work representative your position in contract.
Get your CV dressed up and find a more accommodating employer.

Employer.... not employee

Its so much harder because my manager is the boss of the company. I never slack in in any of my work, no one ever has to do my work for me because I'm efficient in what I do! he says it himself!

I think I am going to suck it up and start looking for a new career or new job.

thank you for your wise words today! Really has made me get through a horrible day like this!

We are no longer in LOCKDOWN which was the reason for allowing so many to WFH and forced childcare providers to close, additional help to become unavailable, etc.

Yes we're still in a pandemic but with few restrictions to normal life, so childcare and work should be entirely separate.

@Newwifeatnumber10

We are no longer in LOCKDOWN which was the reason for allowing so many to WFH and forced childcare providers to close, additional help to become unavailable, etc.

Yes we're still in a pandemic but with few restrictions to normal life, so childcare and work should be entirely separate.

It's not the RESTRICTIONS that are the issue is it. Her normal childcare is isolating which was not an issue pre COVID. It is entirely stupid to put your hands over your eyes and pretend it's not happening because it suits your agenda.

Childcare and work can never be entirely separate. It's impossible.

@Newwifeatnumber10

We are no longer in LOCKDOWN which was the reason for allowing so many to WFH and forced childcare providers to close, additional help to become unavailable, etc.

Yes we're still in a pandemic but with few restrictions to normal life, so childcare and work should be entirely separate.

You seem to be living in some deluded bubble to think childcare and work are completely separate right now.

OP's childcare has COVID and therefore has been forced to close for 10 days - a direct result of the recent pandemic . Finding an alternative for a child so young is not easy and many would not want to send children to grandparents if they had been in direct contact with someone who has COVID.

I have no idea what you do or what industry you work in but am eternally grateful I do not work with someone with such a closed mind. Having a flexible employer who is understanding of situations like this means I give back far far more than is expected of me because I appreciate their flexibility and enjoy my work.

@Newwifeatnumber10

We are no longer in LOCKDOWN which was the reason for allowing so many to WFH and forced childcare providers to close, additional help to become unavailable, etc.

Yes we're still in a pandemic but with few restrictions to normal life, so childcare and work should be entirely separate.

Honestly, just go back to running your dickensian cotton mill and stop derailing this poor womans thread

so childcare and work should be entirely separate.

How can they be when the OP can only work if she has childcare or can work from home?
Covid issues are more than just lockdown.

Are you being dumb on purpose?

Honestly, just go back to running your dickensian cotton mill and stop derailing this poor womans thread

👏👏👏👏

OP don't resign. Look for a new job though. And next time you have an issue say you are ill / self-isolating because of Covid or whatever. Employers like this are awful. Similiar thing happened to me years ago and it made me look at the manager who had given permission for me to go to a funeral and then retracted it when I got back from said funeral v differently

@Newwifeatnumber10 posts make sense though! I've no idea why she's being castigated.

We are quite a flexible workplace, and we are currently operating a blended working arrangement with time spent working at home / in the office.

However, if an employee asked if they could work from home in order to look after a small child, the answer would be no. They'd be expected to take leave.

The way we worked in the pandemic no longer applies. In the pandemic we were happy for staff to do their hours whatever way they could. Now we are still partially working from home, we are clear that staff must work certain hours, and cannot combine it with caring responsibilities.

However it sounds like the LM could have handled it much better.

[quote EarringsandLipstick]@Newwifeatnumber10 posts make sense though! I've no idea why she's being castigated.

We are quite a flexible workplace, and we are currently operating a blended working arrangement with time spent working at home / in the office.

However, if an employee asked if they could work from home in order to look after a small child, the answer would be no. They'd be expected to take leave.

The way we worked in the pandemic no longer applies. In the pandemic we were happy for staff to do their hours whatever way they could. Now we are still partially working from home, we are clear that staff must work certain hours, and cannot combine it with caring responsibilities.

However it sounds like the LM could have handled it much better. [/quote]
But why? It's 2.5 hours. Does it really matter? Would you rather make your staff want to leave for the sake of 2.5 hours?

Companies and bosses like yours are just arseholes. They can never see the bigger picture and would make you redundant as soon as look at you if it threatened them in some way. Don't resign in haste bit do look for a new job ASAP and have the satisfaction of resigning in your own time. If the boss asks why you are resigning be polite, professional but honest and say exactly why, because of 2.5 hours of working from home. It may hammer home to him, why he was being a dick.

Would you rather make your staff want to leave for the sake of 2.5 hours?
I work in a public sector role so there are clear rules around this. Yes, I would. I would do it myself. You can't work & mind a small child.

If an employee asked to work from home for another reason, where they could actually work, that would be fine.

It's completely unreasonable to state you do not have childcare for a small dependent child and expect to be allowed to work at the same time.

because of 2.5 hours of working from home.

But that wouldn't be the reason. She's asking to work from home AND take care of a toddler.

Resign. So many jobs to WFH home these days. Also, plenty of vacancies. Just make the point of why you are resigning.

@EarringsandLipstick

because of 2.5 hours of working from home.

But that wouldn't be the reason. She's asking to work from home AND take care of a toddler.

Yes for 2.5 hours. It's hardly going to make that much of an issue is it?