Finally I'm a manager but how can I be a really good one?

[Metabigot]

So I've finally landed a management job, I'm in a professional services role and after many years working as a consultant/advisor I'm now managing a team of people doing my old job.

I've had some really bad bosses in the past who either micro managed me which I absolutely hated, or lorded it over me to show their 'boss-ness' or just generally treated me like shit. I resolved never to be that kind of boss. I'm fairly confident in my team that they want to work and can do the job, but i want to be a supportive boss and coach them to improve where they need to develop etc. What are the dos and don'ts of being a great boss? I'd be interested to hear both from those who are bosses and those who have experience of shit/brilliant bosses.

Congratulations.

Id say talk to your staff on a human level, but never forget you're the boss.

Trust them to get on with their jobs, check in lightly with a "everything ok, let me know if there is anything you want to run past me"

Don't be patronising!

Be clear and realistic on expectations, make time to properly coach and support people, recognise good work and contributions, actively involve people in decisions and mostly be human.

Promises of Giants by John Amaechi is great if you are looking for a book. How managers should be but sadly not the case in many orgs.

Firm but fair , never expect them to do something you wouldn't do , give credit where it is due. If it's been a productive week / or a bad one , that's been dealt with well - reward with something like cakes at tea break or a tin of chocs .

Don't be too anxious to please, though, in case anyone takes advantage

In your first individual meetings, ask what they want from you. That’s what my first good manager did with me and I’ve tried to do it myself.

Have their backs, always. Mistakes are owned by you on behalf of the team - with appropriate follow up between you and the individual.

Celebrate individual and team success.

Discuss their goals with them. Don’t be afraid to help them develop beyond their current job role - don’t be scared of people leaving because you’ve developed them, be scared of them never developing and staying.

Lots depends on the exact workplace, but those are some intial thoughts which sprung to mind.

Do what you say you’ll do
Never say yes to anything straight away
Firm but fair when needed
When you praise or show appreciation, be specific so it’s more sincere. ie. That presentation was great, you were very clear and got all the points across.
Hear people out when they have ideas even if you think it’s not going to work from the first sentence.

Oh and never moan to them about how busy/stressed you are

Get listening to Brene Brown dare to lead podcasts as full of hints and tips if a bit American

Friendly but still a boss.
Follow the procedures but gently for things like sick leave. All the places oli have worked have followed procedures to the letter but the attitude made such a difference. I had a manager tell that they accepted my illness was genuine so had informed HR and I had got the annual increase. He went on to say if it was not genuine I would not have got the increase. Guess how I felt after that?

However if I have a work problem that I can’t resolve with a colleague, or they genuinely are slacking I need you to be be a good manager. Training and support but if there is a disciplinary issue get evidence, follow the procedures to the letter and do something.

Learn to let go. When its a job you've done, and then you ask someone to pick up X or Y and expect one thing, but they've done it or gone about it slightly differently, take a step back and check whether it's actually worth picking them up on. I've had many bosses who've been shit at explaining what they want, but then never happy with what they get and now I'm a manager, I'm finding I'm questioning my own explanations as I often get things back that aren't quite how I'd have done it! But... 99% of the time it's compliant/correct so no need to mention really, people just have different ways of achieving the same things.

Don't spend too much of your time still picking up stuff because your worried about delegating.

Don't be scared or shy away from awkward conversations, it just makes it worse. Plan what you want to say, stick to facts and just rib the plaster off.

80% of your time should now be focused on your team, 121s, training, coaching etc and improving process or ways of working for everyone. If you are spending all your time working but not getting a chance to fit in your people, you are doing it wrong.

I'm in HR (prof services background) and also manage a team. My top tips are:

• be vulnerable: let your team know when you have made a mistake or find something hard. This shows them that you are human and that it is ok to fail. In turn this builds trust and so they will come to you / be honest if there is a problem

• start from a position of trust and have their back. If someone loses your trust or takes the piss then deal with it. Talk to them if you're worried - but outward facing you back them to the hilt from the get go.

• give feedback. More than anything you can do this is it. You can't help anyone improve if you don't tell them how it is. Be kind and respectful but be honest.

• let them shine. When I first became a manager I worried that my reports doing really well could make it seem as if they should be the boss, not me. However I quickly realised that if your team does well or looks good, so do you! Be humble and give them credit where it is due. It's a win wi.

I have seen the following book recommended

The making of a manager by Julie Zhuo.

Don't be afraid to be disappointed in them if they haven't done a task to expected standard. Nothing worse than a manager who skirts around issues. Regular one to ones. Let them
know you have their back if your managers kick off.

Trust your team and assume they are adults unless they show you otherwise. Be the one with whom the buck stops and make sure your team know that you have their back. My two most important rules.

Good or even neutral feedback is a huge boost. I do case work and know at least 10% are checked. I get sent things for revision, luckily not often, but feel bad when I do. However I have to remind myself and infer that the rest are OK or good as I don’t get any feedback.

Congratulations on your new job.

There’s been some discussion in my place if work recently. The main points are-

Be consistent in your policies. Ie. If person x is allowed to take time off and make up the hours, then let person y do the same.

Don’t micro-manage - trust your staff

Remember, you’re there to lead and manage. Not every policy you’ll make will be popular.

Ask after your staff’s well being. Thank them for good work, or if they do overtime, or do something particularly well.

Decision making - make decisions when needed. If you can’t make it there and then, give a timeframe when you’ll get back to them.

Establish the culture with your team. Talk about what kind of a workplace they'd like to come to and how to make steps towards it.

I second Brene Brown dare to lead work.

Don't try and be their friend. There's a difference between friendly and being a friend.
Be clear with your expectations. Give clear feedback.
Make it clear that your loyalties are with the company/clients and the people you manage. In that order.
Don't take the piss. (we've just had a new manager who is tasked with stuff from her director and just slides it down the pole)
Don't be the last in and the first to go home, but don't be a martyr either.
If you say "I'll look into it and let you know" etc, do it.

Treating people fairly and treating people all the same are different things. Some people like a lot of supervision and input, some find that irritating. Some people are mega organised and will finish tasks early... some work better under pressure and leave it until the last minute.. so long as the task is done to standard it doesn't matter which style got them there. Some people have bigger physical or emotional needs than others.

Get to know your team and how they like to be managed. Across the board have clear expectations but understand that each of the team will arrive at those expectations in different ways.

Be specific and constructive in feedback.

When saying thank you for a job well done be specific in telling them what you are thanking them for.

Don't create a clique with team members you get on better with personally.

How do you want your manager to treat you? That's always a good start.

Be clear in expectations and give honest and respectful feedback.

Be human and friendly, but remember you're their manager not their mate.

Get to know them. What's going on in their lives? What are their aspirations?

Make time for one-to-ones and be approachable, don't be too busy for them.

If you say you are going to do something, do it.

Don't bitch about your boss and/or the company.

Let them make mistakes, but help them learn from them. You don't want them to hide mistakes.

Ask them for feedback on your management of them. But that will only work if you've created a culture of openness and mutual respect.

Good luck in your new role! Recognising that being a manager requires a skill set in itself is a really good start.

Don't feel threatened by staff with more knowledge or experience than you.

Ask them how they like to be managed, and treat them like adults - trust them until they give you reason not to.

Be compassionate and understanding about things like appointments and bereavement - use any and all flexibilities you can within your employers policies (that is why they are in the policies, to be used)

Be fair - if you see someone not pulling their weight or doing something badly/wrong, mention it early, and give them clear examples of how to correct it, and what good looks like, with a clear timescale. That way, everyone knows where they stand.

Allow autonomy as much as possible.

Foster a strong team culture - my highest performing team (the one I lead currently) is geographically disparate and have only met in person once in 10. Months, but have become a mutually supportive group by holding regular (non work related) virtual socials with quizzes and games to get to know each other better.

Don't micromanage.
Don't ask them to do projects then take all the credit.
Don't ask them to do projects to urgent deadlines that then disappear into the ether.
Treat everyone fairly with flexible work requests, carers leave etc.
Manage your own stress of you have a difficult manager and don't cascade it to them.
Use your team effectively, if you have someone who's very good with ideas and starting new projects get them doing that, equally someone who's less creative but very good at slogging through data have them doing the data analysis!
Have their back
Create a culture of openness that actively discourages cliques, bitchiness or gossiping.

Best of luck in your new role! I hope you enjoy it...I neither like being managed or managing others... So have found a role where I'm a bit more of a lone ranger!

Make time for regular catch-ups, whether it happens formally or informally.