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Original poster

To just about tolerate someone I line manager

85 replies

Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 13:20

They're a nice person , nothing offensive about them but it's clear that they don't have the skill set ideally expected.

I'm working with her on this before the next steps of capability/HR process that may kick in. But I'm really starting to dislike her.

It's just their bumbling manner whereas I and others I line manage are a bit more dynamic.

I need to remain professional and help her get up to speed. Sadly now we are working 'normally' it's showing her deficiencies which didn't flag during probation period.

It's getting to the point that even the minor issues are starting to be big issues for me. I then need to step back before I address it and be accused of bullying.

I'm BU aren't I ? But reasonable to recognise my issues in this ?

OP posts:

ButterflyAway · 14/10/2021 13:25

You’re not unreasonable for not liking someone else’s incompetence. It’s frustrating feeling like you’re banging your head off a wall continuously. Have you tried seeing if they preform better without supervision? Some people under perform when they feel watched.

If it’s a case of outright incompetence and a lack of ability to do the job, are you required to train them further? Can you not just move it on to HR, there’s no further support you can offer?

SoniaFouler · 14/10/2021 13:26

Yes you are. You are her manager. And despite how much she annoys you or gives you “the ick” (which is what this is, when you boil down to it) it is inappropriate to treat her like the way you describe, talking about her “bumbling manner” and how every little thing she does annoys you. If you don’t like the woman on a personal level, fine, but it sounds like every thing you notice about her that will irritate you will result in a black mark against her. That’s not on.

SprinklesMcDoodles · 14/10/2021 13:28

Yes YABU. You need to take a step back and approach this professionally. Your attitude will be clear to this person and they are likely to make
more mistakes because of it. You have already strayed into bullying territory. Maybe you aren’t cut out to be a line manager.

ErickBroch · 14/10/2021 13:30

"I then need to step back before I address it and be accused of bullying." YABU here if your dislike of their personality is causing you to perform an action which could be considered bullying?? Follow the proper steps with HR and discuss a performance plan.

3scape · 14/10/2021 13:30

You can't really step back. You're the manager. Be dynamic and come up with some solutions to support her moving onwards.

How did you not pick up these "deficiencies" before? It's sounds like you're paying the price for having taken your eye off things.

Theoscargoesto · 14/10/2021 13:33

I think these messages are a bit hard on the OP. We all have likes and dislikes, triggers, issues. If you recognise them you can take steps to make sure they don’t influence your behaviour-being unaware is a bigger problem. So OP rant here, then leave your issues behind when you deal with this person.

Severntrent · 14/10/2021 13:34

It's good that you've recognized this but good line managers need to be able to line manage and bring out the best in all types, however dynamic they are. Maybe chat with trusted peers or managers about how you can improve in this area and get some tips. It will serve you well in the future. If they are never going to be able to deliver what's needed then get hr involved.

Original poster

Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 13:39

Thanks for the responses so far.

I do recognise is the 'ick' and I do recognise the need to move away from that so that bullying doesn't come into it.

We can't like everyone but I recognise the need to be professional.

I just need to sound off and going to HR to sound off is not a good idea at the moment.

OP posts:

martingrowler · 14/10/2021 13:41

If her incompetence never showed before then is there a chance you are bias towards her in some way? Perhaps because of her "bumbling way". Was she meeting targets etc, before and now isn't?

martingrowler · 14/10/2021 13:44

Just to add, I've had to manage someone I didn't like before. She was very quiet and came across as having no sense of urgency. When I looked at figures though she performed as well as everyone else. In the end she asked to work from home and more and more id start suggesting it until she was virtually always at home and everything was great

FangsForTheMemory · 14/10/2021 13:46

I've had line managers who disliked me a couple of times. They couldn't say (for example) 'you're fat/a bit anxious/have low self-esteem and I don't like people like that'. Instead they undermined my confidence in things I knew I was good at. So when you say this person has a 'bumbling manner' and 'lacks the skillset' are you actually saying she gets on your nerves personally so you're finding reasons to undermine her and manage her out of the job?

LakieLady · 14/10/2021 13:51

I think you've hit the nail on the head there, @FangsForTheMemory.

Andrewthecharminbumwiper · 14/10/2021 13:51

Could the bumbling be down to nerves if she's feeling scrutinised? I have some sympathy for you as I inherited someone without the skills for the job, who proved untrainable despite my best efforts (long story but she was let go in the end, not easy in the public sector).

Why was she recruited if she didn't have the skills, did she blag her application, has the job changed, were the requirements not clear at the time?

If she's not dynamic, maybe she is methodical or has good attention to detail, can you do anything with the skills she does have while you train her in the areas lacking?

Try not to make this personal in your mind. You're allowed feelings, of course, but will only end up incredibly pissed off and stressed. I was. Unless she embroidered her application or lied outright, it's not really her fault she's in a job she's not got the skills for.

LemonKnickers · 14/10/2021 13:56

I feel very sorry for the person you line manage. How lovely for you to be "dynamic". You don't sound very nice to be honest.

Suzi888 · 14/10/2021 13:56

YABU in my opinion. You are going to find any excuse to pick on her and already think you are bordering on bullying this woman - not nice.

I was bullied by my line manager when I first began my job, for no reason other than she disliked me. She would even call be by a different but similar name, shout at me, scream at me etc. Her manager once made her apologise to me, but it didn’t last long. She picked on other people too, some left, some made complaints.

I’m now eight grades higher than when I started the job and five grades higher than my bully.

Be careful who you pick on- it’s bloody soul destroying when someone is a bitch.

HebalGerbil · 14/10/2021 13:57

It really does sound like you actually want to bully her in order to get rid of her.

You're giving her no positive guidance to help get her up to speed after a difficult period for new recruits.

Be careful or you'll be the one on the unemployment line.

Being ousted for bullying tends to diminish one's future opportunities.

You don't have a right to expect to like everyone hired to work alongside you. Not everyone needs your personal approval.

To be quite honest, I'd personally find you hard to tolerate as a work colleague from the impression I get from you here.

AStar98 · 14/10/2021 14:00

You must be me in a parallel universe! You've described my situation at the moment, it's actually quite helpful to see the responses.
My problem is the subordinate, every year after taking holiday she makes really silly, basic mistakes on a huge scale. She could, but every often doesn't check her own work. She's not trained in any way and has no interest in being trained. When I ask her about these mistakes I get an abrupt answer back as if it is my own fault for passing on her work
I feel at the end of my tether and ready to explode. Unfortunately there's very little support in my company, I'm just left to it and things being the way they are, her mistakes and incompetence go unnoticed by anyone senior than me. It's infuriating. Hence why I'm applying for anther job

OppressingBlack · 14/10/2021 14:01

How is she deficient as you so put it.... In the what way. Please give examples.

OppressingBlack · 14/10/2021 14:02

the

Viviennemary · 14/10/2021 14:03

You sound absolutely horrible. No wonder peopld suffer from workplace stress with folk like you in charge.

AStar98 · 14/10/2021 14:11

@Viviennemary

We don't all work in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Just the same as we don't all work at the same pace. And it's infuriating trying to manage someone at the opposite end.

P&L

Original poster

Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 14:12

@HebalGerbil

You're giving her no positive guidance to help get her up to speed after a difficult period for new recruits.

Disagree - a lot of positive guidance given. That why we are at the stage we are at ... approaching capability process.

OP posts:

Underamour · 14/10/2021 14:26

1/10. Well done for admitting you are unprofessional, biased and sharing confidential information about your employee to the world though. What a winner

Original poster

Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 14:29

@Underamour

Utter rubbish. Can you identify the employee/ employer ? !

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 14/10/2021 14:36

I think your management skills are zero. And your personal skills below zero. Still who am I to judge.

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