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Original poster

To just about tolerate someone I line manager

85 replies

Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 13:20

They're a nice person , nothing offensive about them but it's clear that they don't have the skill set ideally expected.

I'm working with her on this before the next steps of capability/HR process that may kick in. But I'm really starting to dislike her.

It's just their bumbling manner whereas I and others I line manage are a bit more dynamic.

I need to remain professional and help her get up to speed. Sadly now we are working 'normally' it's showing her deficiencies which didn't flag during probation period.

It's getting to the point that even the minor issues are starting to be big issues for me. I then need to step back before I address it and be accused of bullying.

I'm BU aren't I ? But reasonable to recognise my issues in this ?

OP posts:
TractorAndHeadphones · 14/10/2021 16:24

Also to add - I’m in a technical role but how we come across to stakeholders is the difference between someone kicking off about an issue , calling their MD’s etc vs letting us handle it.
I have members of staff who are quieter and don’t like speaking but have worked with them on this. A big part of the role is influencing and if they can’t do that they can’t do their jobs effectively.

RockinHorseShit · 14/10/2021 16:39

Christ there's some frankly quite bonkers & very bitter & obviously non management replies on this thread Confused

Trust me when you are managing someone who isn't up to the job, you put in the effort to help them time & again, often over & above what you would normally need to give time & energy wise to an employee & they don't even try to improve, it soon wears you down. You'll start to hate the effect they have on your day & therefore them.

Unfortunately OP, I've been here a few times & every time the end result had to be letting them go, especially if you've got one that likes to buck pass for her failings. Nothing to do with liking them or not & everything to do with having a lot more important stuff to do than continuously support or watch over a staff member who should have got it by now.

& if the person has applied for a job, then a certain level of applicable skill is presumed. It's not the OPs fault if they don't actually have that skill set & it's now screamingly obvious & they aren't trying to improve that situation. Then there's nothing else you can do but manage them out. It's nothing to do with personal preference, but everything to do with having a job to do & you can't carry slackers or those just not up to the job

Dreamstate · 14/10/2021 16:41

What do you even mean by dynamic? Please explain as it could mean many things.

I have a line manager who hates me personally, I know this cos she has openly said in team meetings we can't do tea drinks cos one person doesn't drink aka me and even when I say its fine she dismisses it.

She has done that twice. She also gives all the work to my male coworker only because she know she can basically oversee it all and dictate to him what needs to be done whereas I'm someone who is best to just give the work and I get on with it with little help. She has openly told me im better than my coworker and do all my work to standard where he doesn't.

But im still penalised for it cos she doesn't like me, she even told me im difficult once
..just because im do that fake American happy bs talk like others do.

You need to learn how to line manage different people not everyone is the same. Maybe do a 16 personalities test with the team so you can learn more about each other

HowardNoir · 14/10/2021 16:45

YANBU. I mentored a young man who hithered and dithered about everything, even making his own tea in the staff kitchen. He was quiet in meetings, prepared what he had to say and only said that and then barely managed to do his job even with us guiding him through it step by step and filling in parts he'd missed.

'Bumbling' is an excellent way to put it, and whether she's bumbling due to stress or her own issues, it doesn't matter. She should be keeping up with you all and definitely should've improved since her probation period. If people think you're bullying her, then surely by now she would've realised too and spoken to HR/recognised her inabilities and asked for guidance?

OppressingBlack · 14/10/2021 17:01

You've provided no examples so I smell a rat.

TractorAndHeadphones · 14/10/2021 17:25

@OppressingBlack

You've provided no examples so I smell a rat.
TBF to the OP she has mostly been responding to people jumping straight to bullying. As a manager I'm slightly with the OP here but must reserve full 'wise judgement ' koff koff until more examples are forthcoming
Suzi888 · 14/10/2021 17:56

Manage them out ? Rockinhorseshit? How do you do that exactly?! If someone is incompetent then go through HR (and it’s very difficult!) you can’t just get rid of people you don’t like. That’s called unfair dismissal.

RockinHorseShit · 14/10/2021 18:05

It's only unfair dismissal if they are actually good at the job, this person clearly isn't otherwise their would not be an OP. Otherwise it's dismissal, which believe it or not is still actually allowed provided correct procedure is followed

RockinHorseShit · 14/10/2021 18:05

There Blush

Original poster
Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 18:09

I'm not going to provide examples as it will be 'outing '.

I am not going to justify why support is already in place for the employee.

I am conscious of my own feelings towards this employee and recognise that so careful in my management of her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 18:12

@RockinHorseShit

Unfortunately OP, I've been here a few times & every time the end result had to be letting them go, especially if you've got one that likes to buck pass for her failings. Nothing to do with liking them or not & everything to do with having a lot more important stuff to do than continuously support or watch over a staff member who should have got it by now.

Thank you !

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 14/10/2021 18:22

Nothing worse than a line manager that doesn't like you and is waiting in the tall grass for you to fuck up in their eyes. It's like walking on eggs and you just start making more "mistakes", that aren't really, but just add grist to the mill.

RockinHorseShit · 14/10/2021 18:28

& yet another bitter assed post that has no clue about managing staff 🤦‍♀️

It is not the OPs job to waste her valuable time propping up an insufficient staff member. It is her job to manage her team & sometimes that includes having to let people go who aren't up to the job

I get it, totally get it @Standingstilll, do what you have to do for your own sanity & to keep your department running smoothly

Original poster
Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 18:48

@TSSDNCOP

But they are fucking up and I'm having to manage it.

OP posts:
Dreamstate · 14/10/2021 18:57

So how do you want the employer to more dynamic? What isn't she doing that your other dynamic team members are doing?

billy1966 · 14/10/2021 19:17

The OP never said she was buck passing for her failings??

Buck passing is blaming others, where did the OP write that?

The company didn't catch her inability to do the job, that's on the company.

She deserves to be treated respectfully.

6789Advice · 14/10/2021 19:27

Any chance there is a role in the organisation she would be much better suited to? Can you help establish what her strengths are and get her doing free online learning on Microsoft packages so at least she gets something positive out of it even if ultimately she's not up to the job?

TractorAndHeadphones · 14/10/2021 20:18

@6789Advice

Any chance there is a role in the organisation she would be much better suited to? Can you help establish what her strengths are and get her doing free online learning on Microsoft packages so at least she gets something positive out of it even if ultimately she's not up to the job?
Unrelated to the OP - but why is it the OP’s job to be an unpaid career coach/ make sure she gets something ‘positive’? Do people actually need this level of babysitting in real life?
Original poster
Standingstilll · 14/10/2021 20:25

Get something positive even if she's not up to the job ???

Ffs this is the real working world for which she receives a salary , not a training scheme.

OP posts:
Glugglejug · 14/10/2021 20:34

I think you are receiving some harsh replies OP. I have also been in your position and it is soul destroying.

Are the people who say ‘if an employee isn’t good enough it’s the managers fault’ actually serious? How much hand holding do they need in their jobs? Take some accountability for yourselves, as adults at work.

What objective measurement tools do you have for competence? People tend to respond slightly differently to an objective measure, and if they don’t wise up then I guess you can use it as objective evidence to take to HR to get rid? Regardless of your feelings towards her!

TSSDNCOP · 14/10/2021 20:48

OP the way you are reacting should be cause for some introspection on your own part.

I'm currently coaching a LM who cannot understand why a person isn't working out in their role, and it's a similar "dynamic" manger. The real reason is they will not give airtime to someone that just needs a bit more time and has a different style.

I get it, I am a dynamic person. But a team that works well must be made up of diverse people. Less dynamic people have their value in that they spend more time in the detail that other colleagues miss. I have appointed an assistant specifically to compliment skills I tend to give less attention to. She can drive me mad, but I respect her skills and we enjoy our differences.

If your person does not have the competencies after genuinely proven training and support it is your job to make the case to manage them out. That's ok, but you clearly know it's gotten personal and you need to address that first.

Andrewthecharminbumwiper · 14/10/2021 23:30

Hm. I had sympathy but going on your responses, what does 'dynamic' actually mean to you OP? You seem to be jumping on and snapping at quite a few people. I hope this is not your idea of a 'dynamic' management style with people who do not work in the same way as you.

Dreamstate · 15/10/2021 01:26

You still ignore my question on what you mean by dynamic...what do u you expect from a dynamic person then?

steelrose · 15/10/2021 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babyroobs · 15/10/2021 22:08

@HarrietsChariot

You're the manager, so if you have poor staff it shows you're not a very good manager. Either accept her standard of work, train her to become acceptable, or get rid of her in a legal, ethical manner.
I don't think poor staff is a reflection on the manager. Sometimes no matter how much effort you put into trying to coach, encourage and support someone they still can't do the job. I have a colleague who has been in the job two years. Two managers have given him endless support, he still can't do the job to the expected standard, is consistently lazy, makes stupid comments and constantly seems to need endless praise for the tiniest achievement. It's totally tiresome working with someone like this and no reflection on the manager.
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