Office Christmas Meal

[Noogar]

Every year the team go for a meal out. It is getting increasingly expensive. If I don't shell out the £40+ and go this year is it going to cause me issues?

I cannot believe that people are saying that £40 spend is a trivial amount. I can afford that, but wouldn't always have been able to.

A poster correctly pointed out that it works out something like 75p per week so if that's the case - the employer can pay!

The only good thing about covud was the fact that the Xmas party was cancelled last year. I had vowed not to attend any more, but I'm starting a new job in a few weeks. I'm just hoping it's all booked up already and no room for me!

@Alwayscheerful

But it's not just £40 It is £40. Plus drinks, Outfit, Taxi, And possibly a Cut and blow dry especially if you have neglected yourself a little due to lack of funds.

Give it a miss if money is tight.

You don't have to get a cut and blow dry and a new outfit for a meal with colleagues. 😂

£40 is a lot! It’s not in the budget this year simple as that

I am not a sociopath, I promise you smile. I have been on the bones of my arse and sometimes, in some contexts have said I can't afford something and sometimes made another excuse. Having being in this situation, I generally don't judge people for not being able to afford things but in this context of a Christmas celebration, once a year, for a working person I would honestly think that the person could afford it if they really wanted to but couldn't be arsed. Maybe there's a cultural difference but I'm Irish and I think most people would think similarly to me.

I have ASD and I LOATHE Christmas. My firm has quite a swish do planned which will not cost us anything but I won't go because, if I do, I spend three days beforehand throwing up at the thought of it, I shake all the way through and get panicky if I can't get home easily.

Most of the team is unaware of this but if they judged me for it, I would just think they were arseholes.

There is often a lot of "forced jollity" attached to a works do. I've been to many but honestly can't say that I really enjoyed them much.

In latter years pre Covid I declined to go. These were all self funded and no matter whether the meal cost 40 or 140, it never ended at that, plus the fact that you were never sure who you would be seated next to for the night!

I just dislike them, and a huge number of people also hate them. Boring chore of the year! I voted with my feet in the end and feel much better for it. I just say I am unable to attend, no apology no explanation needed. Seems I never miss much in the end.

Nod along until the deposit is due then bail.. and say u cant make it now for whatever reason.

I think its really poor form for them to invite staff to functions like this without at least funding part of the meal

That's life when your work is funded by people's taxes. (NHS, Local Government, Teachers, etc etc etc)
I've never had any work function paid for. Everyone always pays for themselves.

I agree with all those saying just say "No thanks", and, if people then try and press, just to be honest and say you "can't justify spending that on one meal with your budget at the moment." Don't go into detail. Often it isn't about whether you could literally get that amount out of the cashpoint. The fact you could get that cash out tomorrow if you wished, is because you have made decisions not to spend that money on other things, and the fact you will have it when you want / need it for something you truely, really want to do, will be because you haven't spent it doing something that you don't think is worth that amount of money.

Do not nod along then bail as @workoholic suggests.

Some poor sod is organising this and regardless of what you think of Christmas nights out and the cost and inconvenience of them, it's unfair to give them incorrect numbers and make their task harder. Just say no thank you, politely.

@workoholic

Nod along until the deposit is due then bail.. and say u cant make it now for whatever reason.

Dreadful advice, that would be both cowardly and ill mannered.

I think £40 is a lot. I have a big family birthday and my anniversary within a week of Christmas so probably wouldn't be able to afford the £40 - does that even include drinks?

Aside from that, I am not close friends with people from work and have very limited free time anyway so would rather see friends or actually spend time with my partner who works long shifts.

I will be declining ours this year for those reasons. Unless they are in work hours it isn't likely I will go really.

That's a horrible and really selfish thing to suggest @workoholic
If you aren't intending to go, just be upfront about it - either just say you don't want to, or cover with a white lie of not being able to afford / get babysitter / something has come up and you can no longer go, but be clear from the start the organiser isn't counting you in the numbers.

Calm down Kite22. I used to be a PA.
If you don't say at the start pre-deposits you can go due to money, others will then start piping up then the whole event will get changed.
If the poster doesn't want to go at all they have to go along with it until deposits are being paid. Generally unless its an activity its fine to just amend a table number. If its an escape room/go karting etc then its a different situation.

I stopped going to those awful things a few years before I stopped work. One reason was that I only really liked about five of the people I worked with, the others were fine (except for two) but not fine enough for me to want to spend money to be in their company.

Another reason was I am vegetarian, and the Christmas meal menu choices for vegetarians are I believe mandated by law to be abysmal. I really resented paying out for a miserable plate of red onion tart and supermarket packet salad while sitting next to people with plates piled high with a roast Christmas dinner and delicious roasties to add to the pain ! I once asked for a few roasties in desperation and the response was “ no,” not even “sorry they are cooked in goose fat” which would have been understandable, but just “no”, not included in the £40 deal I had chosen.

i don't ned to calm down thanks. I'm not het up. But it is selfish.

Yes, if you were the only person from 60 planning to do that, it would work out, but if 1/4 or 1/3 of people think that is fine, then it really changes the numbers. Why would it be so difficult just to be honest from the start?
Everywhere I have ever worked, the person who organises the Christmas do is just someone being kind. It isn't part of their job role and they don't get any time to do it or any budget or any underwriting if people pull out last minute. It just makes life easier from the start if the people that don't want to go, say so, and then they know what sort of numbers they are working with.