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Original poster

Office Christmas Meal

89 replies

Noogar · 30/09/2021 17:15

Every year the team go for a meal out. It is getting increasingly expensive. If I don't shell out the £40+ and go this year is it going to cause me issues?

OP posts:
theleafandnotthetree · 01/10/2021 14:59

[quote 5BlackDoors]@theleafandnotthetree I think it was awesome in the context of the really really toxic office culture we were in. Which included all sorts of things I won't even get into as I posted about some issues on Legal under another user name. So the receptionist just said what alot of us were thinking.

FWIW I transferred out of that office into a subsidiary in another city and the office culture is entirely different, and with much nicer people.[/quote]
Ok, that's fair enough but I still think it unnecessarily rude as a blanket comment about the entire place/workforce. Surely not everyone was toxic?

LaBellina · 01/10/2021 15:03

OP I agree with you that £40 is not cheap for a meal out with ‘just’ colleagues and as you said around Christmas time there are lots of other expenses. I think I would just bring it up and say either you find a place that’s less expensive or you can’t join. I think £40 is a lot of money for many people so I doubt you’re the only one on your team that feels this way. Probably others are glad that you brought it up because it’s not always easy to say that you can’t afford something. Fwiw if I were on your team, I would admire you for bringing it up and not judge you at all.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 01/10/2021 15:39

Yeah I think £40 is too much for a christmas work meal out. I think the place we go to is a bit on the pricey side at £21/25 for 2/3 courses, but its one of my favourite restaurants so I don't usually mind. I won't be going this year as I'm WFH as I'm in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy so it seems a pisstake to go along if they plan anything.

I'll likely meet my good work friends for a meal out, but it'll only be a few of us.

I like what my husbands work does, they go out for lunch in November when it's the £6 lunch special. Those all stop in Dec, or double in price!

Ragwort · 01/10/2021 16:27

TheLovely - totally agree that 'Christmas meals' are really expensive and over rated. We go out in January- much quieter and the restaurants are usually pleased to have a big booking Grin.

DrCoconut · 01/10/2021 16:34

What would you all think of me? I can't eat at local pubs and most restaurants, especially festive fayre type menus for medical reasons. So I'm going to be the one who never goes to Christmas dinners, leaving dos etc. I'm not joyless or a miser, I can't go. And £40 is expensive too. It's no more than £20 for a Christmas meal out locally. Sure you may get better if you pay more but if you just want a cheap(er) and cheerful get together it's possible.

LaBellina · 01/10/2021 16:37

How about organizing a Christmas dinner at work? Decorate the place, everyone brings a dish and a bottle of wine / bubbles. You can have a lovely evening for much less then £40. Perhaps a silly suggestion but you could then do Secret Santa too with your colleagues!

RampantIvy · 01/10/2021 16:47

I do sometimes wonder about all these mumsnetters who seem to dislike and/or have no friendships with anyone they work with. It seems scarcely credible to me. I have gotten on well with most people I've ever worked and have three very deep friendships which were formed at various workplaces. It is not some prison or den of shitheads, it's a place you spend a lot of time with people where good vibes, including the occasional bit of socialising help make it more enjoyable and where occasionally real friendships and connections are made.

I totally agree with you @theleafandnotthetree. It’s such a negative attitude to have. Whenever there is a thread asking whether people enjoy their jobs, most people who say they don’t also work with people they dislike. It can’t be a coincidence.
DH and I have moved around a bit, so not all of our friends are local, and we don’t live near any family. Our best man was a workmate of DH’s and DD’s godfather was also a workmate of DH’s.

Why? I never get this. Why make something up when you can just as easily tell the truth. You can’t afford it. Simple

I agree.

I wouldn’t judge you for not being able to join in on a meal out @DrCoconut. Decent people wouldn’t do that.

TheWeeDonkey · 01/10/2021 20:52

@LaBellina

How about organizing a Christmas dinner at work? Decorate the place, everyone brings a dish and a bottle of wine / bubbles. You can have a lovely evening for much less then £40. Perhaps a silly suggestion but you could then do Secret Santa too with your colleagues!
Great Idea, I've done this at most of my work places, whether we've had a works do or not. Its a nice alternative. You have the festive atmosphere, people get to bring in food that suits them and it doesn't cost the earth.
Original poster
Noogar · 01/10/2021 21:08

Oh I forgot the secret santa. So that's going to be another £10 or maybe I can get it on my boots points.

I like them but I think they forget people have priorities. Am going to tell the organiser on Monday.

OP posts:
bigbeautwoman · 05/10/2021 20:27

Don’t get forced or pressured into taking part if you can’t or don’t want too.

OddSockReunion · 07/10/2021 22:09

@LaBellina

How about organizing a Christmas dinner at work? Decorate the place, everyone brings a dish and a bottle of wine / bubbles. You can have a lovely evening for much less then £40. Perhaps a silly suggestion but you could then do Secret Santa too with your colleagues!
If everyone brings a festive dish and a decent bottle of fizz it would be £40ish anyway!
OddSockReunion · 07/10/2021 22:11

@Noogar

Oh I forgot the secret santa. So that's going to be another £10 or maybe I can get it on my boots points.

I like them but I think they forget people have priorities. Am going to tell the organiser on Monday.

It's once per year though. The cost per week in your budget over the year is next to nothing. I really don't understand the angst over this stuff, same with weddings etc. Considering how often this stuff happens, the weekly/ monthly cost of it is tiny.
rookiemere · 07/10/2021 22:21

£40 is a lot if you're on a budget. Just say no, but don't tell them why as it doesn't sound as if even if they found somewhere else at £25 a head, you'd want to go.

Flufferty · 07/10/2021 22:24

£40 is really expensive. Just be honest and say that it's out of your price range.
I don't go to our Christmas meals any more. I don't even bother to lie, I'm just honest and say that I don't fancy going

Alwayscheerful · 07/10/2021 22:31

But it's not just £40
It is £40.
Plus
drinks,
Outfit,
Taxi,

And possibly a Cut and blow dry especially if you have neglected yourself a little due to lack of funds.

Give it a miss if money is tight.

LaBellina · 08/10/2021 09:38

If everyone brings a festive dish and a decent bottle of fizz it would be £40ish anyway!

Shock I think I can easily cook some lovely festive dish and buy a bottle of nice fizz for much less then £40! But if you insist on caviar/lobster and champagne….a bottle of cava or prosecco is lovely too. Or just red or white wine to go with the dish you made.
Glassofshloer · 08/10/2021 09:40

Mine’s the same. £40+ for a school dinner style Christmas ‘meal’ and a glass of cheap wine in a chain hotel. Always organised by the same person in January/February. I’m not going.

evilharpy · 08/10/2021 10:26

I am not a sociopath, I promise you smile. I have been on the bones of my arse and sometimes, in some contexts have said I can't afford something and sometimes made another excuse. Having being in this situation, I generally don't judge people for not being able to afford things but in this context of a Christmas celebration, once a year, for a working person I would honestly think that the person could afford it if they really wanted to but couldn't be arsed. Maybe there's a cultural difference but I'm Irish and I think most people would think similarly to me.

Sorry it won't let me quote. I don't think it's a cultural difference. I'm Irish and I think £40 (plus the inevitable drinks/outfit/taxis etc and don't get me started on secret santa) is well beyond many people, especially around Christmas when there's so much else to pay for. £40 is a week's food shopping for a lot of people.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 08/10/2021 11:05

I agree with you @evilharpy For many people £40 is a lot of money despite what MN can say about finances. It is likely that if people put their mind to it, pretty much anyone could save £40 over the course of a year but it's not OK to expect them to prioritise a work do over all the other ways they could spend £40 including a celebration with people whose company they genuinely enjoy. I know plenty of Irish people who would be very offended by the idea that they would be judgemental about this.

middleager · 08/10/2021 11:22

I work with a team who are all on double my salary. I'm also part-time. Also, I'm the only parent and teens are expensive, especially at Christmas! They all seem to have a lot of disposable income.

Every year I dread the Christmas meal, which is always booked at a pricey city centre restaurant. It's not 'just' the £40 meal, it's the taxi, drinks, tip etc.

This thread has encouraged me to say no this year, as I'm already stressing about money.

theleafandnotthetree · 08/10/2021 12:36

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

I agree with you *@evilharpy* For many people £40 is a lot of money despite what MN can say about finances. It is likely that if people put their mind to it, pretty much anyone could save £40 over the course of a year but it's not OK to expect them to prioritise a work do over all the other ways they could spend £40 including a celebration with people whose company they genuinely enjoy. I know plenty of Irish people who would be very offended by the idea that they would be judgemental about this.
I don't think most Irish people would be that easily offended! I'm not saying I agree with it but there is a very strong cultural norm not to appear 'tight', and for a WORKING PERSON IN A PROFESSIONAL JOB to say that couldn't afford 40 pounds for a once-a-year night out would, amongst most people I know, be interpreted as someone not being bothered OR being a bit tight. I'm not saying every Irish person would feel this way or that people would necessarily articulate it. But happily the OP is in England (I think) so our ways don't have to bother her!
lockdownmadnessdotcom · 12/10/2021 10:28

I would come up with a reason because even though its an invite for a lot of companies it is an unspoken rule that you must attend

Then they pay for it. OP you may be able to avoid it under the radar, especially if it's on a day you don't work, but otherwise just say "no I can't afford it this year" and repeat to anyone nosey enough to ask.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 12/10/2021 10:30

Well they can't argue with it but if you were my colleague I'd be thinking you were a bit tight and joyless, like it's once a year and especially after the dreariness of the last 18 months. So if you don't want to go I really really wouldn't use money as the excuse. By any standards, 40 pounds is not wildly extravagant is it? And I'm a low earner

Seriously? £40 is a lot! And I really hate people who insist on other people "having fun". And I would have thought that if you were posting on MN, you were old enough to have the life experience to appreciate that what you like, other people don't, and vice versa?

I am Blush for you.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 12/10/2021 10:32

for a WORKING PERSON IN A PROFESSIONAL JOB to say that couldn't afford 40 pounds for a once-a-year night out would, amongst most people I know, be interpreted as someone not being bothered OR being a bit tight

Or prioritising their income on the things they want to do, rather than their colleagues trying to impose on them?

I find it astonishing that you think you have a right to tell your colleagues how to spend their money.

SameToo · 12/10/2021 10:38

I could afford £40 on a staff meal but I wouldn’t as I’d much rather spend it on a family meal. Couldn’t give a shit if people thought I was tight. Staff things are rubbish and a pain in the arse.