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Original poster

Boss makes remarks about my working hours

69 replies

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 14:46

I have been in the same job for 6 years. When I started my DD had just begun nursery and I worked 3 days, 9-6 and Saturday 9:30 -4. After a while I asked if I could work 5 days instead and do 9-4 (this way I didn't drop any hours) which was agreed. At the time there were 2 others in my department that worked until 6 so it wasn't an issue. One member was fired and the remaining 2 of us took on her workload. In Nov 2019 the other person left and I changed my hours from 9-4 to 8-3 for 3 days and 8-4 for 2 days. We have tried to fill the position but no one has lasted (the pay is bad to start off which doesn't help). Add COVID to the works and whilst everyone else was on furlough, I had to work all the way through, my DD had to go my mothers to be looked after (not ideal as she is elderly and vulnerable) whilst school was closed. I worked until 2pm and then carried on working from home until 6pm and when school was back went back to my normal hours but some after school activities were cancelled so I could only work until 3pm on the days I was meant to work until 4 in order to collect my daughter. Now this term the only person that does the after school activities was on sick leave for a week so again I had to work until 3 this week to collect my daughter.
My boss is constantly making remarks about me finishing earlier than the other departments that work until 6pm but I still do emails and take calls on my personal mobile even when I have gone. If I say anything he tries to make out its a joke but it's really starting to get to me. I am a single parent and have no-one else to collect my daughter from school. My mother isn't mobile enough to do the journey and I don't have any parent friends at the school who I could ask. I have applied for after proper school club every year but never get allocated a space as places go to those with siblings first and I only have the 1 child.
I just don't know what to do, am I bein too sensitive? I have told them in no uncertain terms that I am doing all I can but I cannot afford private childcare on my wages, even with help towards the cost I'd still be worse off. Why should I work even longer hours when I have children, I already work full-time. What are my rights?

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 15/09/2021 14:52

But you arent working the hours you are contracted to do if you are leaving early.

Have you looked into getting a childminder?

Original poster

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 15:29

I can’t afford it and I am working the hours I’m contracted to, I just can’t this week. It’s the constant remarks about what time I finish, even though they agreed to an earlier finish years ago. Im the only parent at the company so noone else has my responsibility’s. I also get remarks if I have to take a day off with a poorly child even though I work from home.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 15:31

I also do not have hours specified in a contract. I don’t even have a contract.

OP posts:

ShrimpBarbarian · 15/09/2021 15:37

You cant afford a childminder for an hour or 2 a day?

Im the only parent at the company so noone else has my responsibility’s They have their own responsibilities, just because they dont have children doesnt mean they dont.

Its a bit hard to understand what you have written, are you working your hours or not?

Geamhradh · 15/09/2021 15:48

With the best will in the world, you can see their point.
There's a lot of "can't" in your OP. The fact that this week the after school thing can't pick up the extra hour is irrelevant and from your OP it's not just this week- it's been going on for some time.

Original poster

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 15:55

No I can’t afford childcare at £10-12 an hour. If I could I would. Why is that hard to grasp? We don’t all earn huge sums of money, I pay rent council tax water has electric travel food. It doesn’t go far. I have no income from the absent father. I work started on 34.5 hours now do 37 if I stay until 4 for 2 days but But if school clubs get cancelled I have no option but to leave work at 3 and collect my child. Then I’ve done 35 hours. I Then work until 6 from home which I do t get paid for.

OP posts:

IntermittentParps · 15/09/2021 16:16

I think you need to have a sensible professional conversation with your boss. Say that clearly there is an issue to address, going by their ongoing remarks about your work pattern. See what they say. You can point out that you continue to work from home when out of the workplace, therefore making up (I assume) the hours they want. Ask if there are concerns about your work. Ask for a contract, maybe.

dementedpixie · 15/09/2021 16:19

Maybe tell them you aren't working until 6pm without getting paid for it and you will work the hours you have agreed in advance. How many hours are you supposed to work?

namechange30455 · 15/09/2021 16:21

Where do you live that childminders are 12 quid an hour?!

sueelleker · 15/09/2021 16:24

And point out that if you did work until 6 you'd be coming in later. They don't want you to just work late, they just want you to work longer without getting paid for it.

NailsNeedDoing · 15/09/2021 16:31

You’re not properly working until six though if you’re fitting in a school run and looking after your child while doing a few emails or whatever. I think on a week that you are finishing earlier than you’re supposed to, you have to suck up and deal with any snide comments, it’s irrelevant that you’re the only single parent in the team.

If you’re getting these comments when you’re in work doing all the hours you’re paid for, you need to think of better comebacks for when he says anything. People on here could probably help come up with good ones.

Original poster

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 16:37

I live in London and that’s the going rate in my local area sadly. I’ve looked into it. was hired at 34.5 hours, that’s crept up to 37 over the years. It’s a tiny company and I’ve tried having the conversation about the remarks numerous times, I even sent an email so it was in writing and got told off for it, was told to speak to them in person! They just do t want a paper trail in my opinion.
I just think that I’m working my correct hours unless I have no option, I make up time if I have to, I never take sick days if I’m ill but if my daughter is sick I work from home. I’m never late, I work hard doing the job of 3 people by myself and I never complain but I feel like I’m singled out for being a mum. I could take the other option and sit on my bum claiming benefits but I’d rather be an example to my DD and go out and earn my own money. Just gets a bit much when your just trying to do your best and it doesn’t seem good enough. Had a little fry and now feel a bit better.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyceecee · 15/09/2021 16:40

I’m emailing at the school gates, I’m taking calls in the supermarket, I am working until 6 when I’m not supposed to. I’m taking calls at weekends. That’s all in my own time. I’ve lost 2 hours this week that’s all.
And being the only parent is relevant as the others can stay as late as they want to because they don’t have to rush off.

OP posts:

ChateauMargaux · 15/09/2021 16:43

Set out everything you said here in an email and ask him to kindly desist from pointing out that your working hours are somehow the problem rather than the fact that you now bear the load of three people and four if someone is off sick. Keep a log of the calls you take out of hours for 2 weeks and send it to him.

Calculate the amount the department is saving with these two vacancies.

Your hours have gone from 29.5 to 30 and now 32.. what are the standard weekly hours?

Offer to take a sizeable increase, comparable to 20% of the saving of having 2 vacancies and then offer to work 37.5 hours.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2021 16:49

@mummyceecee

You just can't do this!

Your options are to agree hours with your company that allow you to collect your DD, find another job, or find childcare.

You can't just finish at 3 because you've no-one to collect your child.

I'm a single parent to 3, with some flexibility but no way would this be ok.

It's a job. You can't do what suits you.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2021 16:51

That's not any kind of way to work.

Organise your hours and stick to them. You need childcare. It isn't your company's responsibility to care about your difficulties & needing to finish at 3.

I appreciate that being a working single parent is hard. But you sound massively entitled.

Comedycook · 15/09/2021 16:53

When I went back after maternity I made my day slightly shorter, a colleague made a joke when I left the office one day ..I simply said that my pay reflected the hours I worked. He didn't say anything else

BlackberryMuncher · 15/09/2021 16:59

I'm a tad confused about the hours etc, but you're doing much more than your own job.

It's no wonder they can't keep staff!!

I'd just tell them that I was doing more hours than I was employed for, I was working home afterwards & weekends & all for a low wage. That if they aren't happy they can feel free to actually employ enough staff so that I could go back to the original number of hours I was employed for!!

Twat needs telling!!

Branleuse · 15/09/2021 16:59

You dont sound entitled to me OP. You sound burned out and exploited. School hours in uk are ridiculous for working parents and childcare is so expensive

IntermittentParps · 15/09/2021 17:02

And being the only parent is relevant as the others can stay as late as they want to because they don’t have to rush off.
This kind of comment makes you lose my sympathy a bit. Just because other people aren't parents doesn't mean they don't have responsibilities or lives.

ChateauMargaux gives good advice.

OurChristmasMiracle · 15/09/2021 17:03

I would recommend putting in a flexible working request so you have your hours in writing then you can remind your boss that as per your flexible working arrangement you do x to y at work and then y to z from home.

Danikm151 · 15/09/2021 17:04

Are you entitled to any UC? Could potentially help.
I’d also formally submit a flexible working request- that way your hours will be set in stone.

Branleuse · 15/09/2021 17:31

@IntermittentParps

And being the only parent is relevant as the others can stay as late as they want to because they don’t have to rush off. This kind of comment makes you lose my sympathy a bit. Just because other people aren't parents doesn't mean they don't have responsibilities or lives.

ChateauMargaux gives good advice.

Really? Is the OAP residential care home kicking out time 3pm daily too? This is just silly. Other people of course have lots of respinsibilities in their lives, but a single parent of very young school aged children have a very specific hurdle in their working lives and most people can understand and acknowledge this. If you dont pick up your kid on time then social services get called eventually. This is one of the reasons womens careers go down the pan. Its structural sexism.

Pumasonsatsumas · 15/09/2021 17:35

Make a note of all comments they have made. Do you have somewhere in writing that they agreed these hours? Then sit down with your manager and explain a bit about your situation - you are single mother and this arrangement enables you to look after your family. Tell him you have this arrangement in writing. He has made a number of comments and perhaps he doesn't realise but you take them seriously. Is there something he'd like to raise, as you are working you agreed hours? If he says anything untoward ask HR for a chat.

Ducksarenotmyfriends · 15/09/2021 17:41

@Branleuse

You dont sound entitled to me OP. You sound burned out and exploited. School hours in uk are ridiculous for working parents and childcare is so expensive

Absolutely this. You are in no way being entitled.

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