there is nothing else in the world, i would rather do than stay at home and bring up my baby

[robinredbreast]

why do people think thats odd.
what a shallow materealistic world we liven

live in

It's not odd.

But everyone is different.Some people find it difficult for many reasons including: finances, long term job prospects, own mental well being and that of their family. These people aren't odd either.

I get that same attitude time and time again. We're by no means rich but can afford for me to stay home with the dcs. Having said that we have never ever had a holiday,the children wear alot of hand me downs and we don't have hundreds of toys. It makes me mad when people say they have to work. Have to work is when you have to pay for the rent/food etc not for the second car and 2 holidays a year.

I enjoy my job and couldn't be a full time mother - much as I love my children! But I don't think your odd at all - infact I often wonder if I am the odd one! But I am a teacher and so do have long holidays!

I also like having the money and the pension aspect!

It's not necessarily materialistic to go to work its a choice. Imagine being told you would have to leave work when you announced your pregnancy. Women in the 50s and 60s and even as late as the 70s were expected to jack in a career and education to raise their families. Be glad you are able to make the choice.
I'm part time and I love it.
3 days home (1 working from home - all done when LO's in bed) and 2 days in the office with lovely secretary making my coffee and no play doh in sight, lovely.

I felt like that after ds1 (and didn't go back). By the time I had ds3 I didn't feel like that, we were broke from paying extra for ds1 all the time, I was up to my eyeballs in SN and disabilities. Now finally I'm working for money and loving it. I love that I get time away from the home, I love the break from the children, I like having some extra money and not constantly having to rob Peter to pay Paul (although we still have a lot of debt to pay off, so the extra money doesn't go o 'stuff').

Everyone has a different situation- doesn't mean that people are shallow or materialistic if they work.

Isa. For many people the privilige of being a SAHM means that dads have to work long hrs to pay for it all and children miss out on their fathers.

For the previous generation housing (including rent) was relatively cheap. Housing costs have far exceeded the rise in the average salary meaning that many more women do have to go out to work to make ends meet.

Equally women who stay at home and become depressed are not helping their children y doing this.

Take great care when passing judgement on the choices other families make.

The choice is great but sometimes families find themselves in a situation that they then can't afford to get out of and then it's because they have too,not because they still want too iyswim. I'm not having a go at working mums at all - just sometimes it seems like the whole right to be equal,have a career etc that our mums,grandmums etc fought for has now actually taken away the very thing they wanted for us which was choice.

Agree with scattyspice.

Slightly odd OP. I'm a WOHM but really don't have any views at all about what other people think of my choice. They don't have my job, my children, my husband, my choice of schools or my mortgage!

I do wonder what a lot of "I must raise my own babies" mothers would have done if their husbands had had the very same idea?

sorry didn't mean to offend anyone,got a stinking cold and im not thinking straight,
i am all for choice and if any women wants to go back to work,i think thats great,
and i do beleive that this is the best thing for some women and there families
and i understand its not always a choice and that sometimes needs must.

just find it hard that people seem to think wanting to be a sahm is odd.

Good question coldtits.

I don't find wanting to be a SAHM odd. Does anyone, really? I know more SAHMs than otherwise round here.

not disagreeing as such but as a sahm i am constantly being asked when i'm going to get a proper job. When did being a sahm mum stop being a fulltime,important job. And yes i'm lucky that i choose to stay at home with my children and can afford too but,as i said, we have a lifestyle that makes it possible. I have had pnd 3 times. If i went to work i would still have had pnd 3 times. That does not make me a bad mother.Lots of women that work are depressed,as well as guilty about not being with their lo's,pissed off with work etc. It just seems that societys expectations of women have changed so much that we are in a situation as bad as we were before the 50's/60's but in reverse.

I understand what you mean Isa. Often we are damed if we do and damed if we don't.
I also agree that PND is not just suffered by SAHMs. I think some women have found relief from their depression by working (but feel guilty in doing so), but depression is very individual.

I felt very guilty about returning to work when mine were babies, but still feel it was the right thing to do for my family.
Now I face redundancy and worry how I will cope with being a SAHM when my LOs start school.

Can't win eh?

Well no it's not odd - I am a sahm but I understand:

It's not for everyone.

It's not possible for everyone.

I've had my moments when looking back I wonder if I might have been a nicer mummy on occasion if I hadn't been doing it full time. (And that surprised me because I never thought I'd feel that way, but I thought I was going bonkers at one point)

I have to say I don't really understand SAHM. I get it up to a point but when the children go to school and you're free from 9 - 3.30, what do you do all day? It doesn't take that long to do the housework does it? I'm honestly not meaning to offend but I don't get it. And I would really hate not earning my own money, v. independent, always have been.

Different if you're talking about all the kids being in school. Having said that,it isn't easy getting a job that fits in with school hrs. I have to preschool lo's as well as 2 at school but even when they start school i can't see how i'd have time to work. Getting time off for school events,covering school holidays,after school care etc etc. Plus my eldest has sn's which mean she has a hospital appt as least once a month. No boss in the world would be that understanding!

Thats the trouble Isa (thats why I'mfacing redundancy, no boss can really be that understanding).

They probably would if you did a full day though, or if you did part time and arranged the hospital appt for one of your days off. I wonder if it's just easier to be a SAHM sometimes. What do you do when the kids grow up and leave home though? I'd worry you wouldn't be able to get a job afterwards.

Holly. I work PT and have a term time contract. My employer is now finding it difficult to accomodate term time workers yet is unable to guarantee staff will be able to take AL during the school holiday periods. This means I will have little choice but to give up work as I have DS at school.

It seems to get harder when they start school.

Nice and judgey.

I love being at home as does DP. If we won the lottery and could just be at home we would love it! i love doing mumsy stuff, housework shopping etc and can never understand how people get bored at home. After ive dropped DS1 at school i could easily fill my day, as well as housework, theres always extra jobs to do in house, prepare dinner, walk dog! having said that i still have to work, not just to pay bills but also to have nice stuff,we have 2 hols abroad a yr and without me working we would have nothing left and i would be well fed up. ITS not all about being materialistic but i nlike they way ai live my life. However, maternity leave finishes march and i will be gutted when have to go back to work

at Fio2