Parental leave, time off for dependents or neither?

[weebleswobblemoreonboxingday]

Ds2 is 11 and disabled. I can't give 21 days notice for parental leave as I only had 14 days notice for a hospital visit which will last several hours.

Looking at the info I can find online I don't think it fits into time off for dependents as it's not an emergency given the 14 days notice I've had.

When I got the appointment letter I asked my employer for a day off unpaid as I don't have any leave left this year. This was agreed by my Manager and then I was emailed today by her saying that she'd allocated my Xmas shopping day off for the day of the appointment.

I'm not happy about this as frankly, having spent most of my days off in November and I will spend most of my days off in December in either a hospital or clinic with ds2, I could do with the Xmas day off.

Is there anything I can do or do I have to accept this? I've worked for this employer for 7 years.

bump...anyone?

weebles you are right this doesn't fit into the guidelines for parental leave (which has to be in blocks of a week anyway) or emergency leave, as this is not an emergency. So your employer is not obliged to let you have this time off, but most would agree to a day's annual leave or unpaid leave - I see your employer has agreed this.

Is this Xmas shopping day something you get additional to annual leave, is it paid or unpaid?

I would be inclined to remind your manager that it was agreed you could have unpaid leave for your son's hospital appointment on that day, forwarding her the email if applicable, or reminding her of the date of the conversation, and then say, I'm sure it was an oversight but you have put my Xmas shopping day on that day as well, could I please change it?

Having already said you could take unpaid leave for your son's appointment it is a bit strange to allocate a different 'day off' for the same day - my assumption would be she's forgotten and just allocated everyone's extra day off without remembering that you are already not in on that day.

The Xmas day off is an extra paid day off in addition to annual leave.

I replied to her email saying I would prefer to take the day off unpaid and not use my Xmas day off sitting in a hospital. She hadn't replied by the time I left 5 hours later, although I did see her around she avoided me. Usually she is friendly and approachable.

I'm wondering whether I could be coming across as being too picky over this, but the majority of the office staff take so much time off sick and have so many emergencies they have to deal with that they openly admit are not genuine. I don't behave like that so feel aggrieved when I think I'm not being treated fairly.

Well they are under no obligation to let you have the day off, but on the other hand it was previously agreed, and the Xmas day off is something separate which it sounds like everyone gets and is not conditional on other time off.

So if you insist and get stroppy about it (not suggesting that's your plan btw!), then yes you are being too picky, because you don't have any 'right' to this. But if you approach it something like 'I know it's a pain at this time off year, having to juggle everyone's holiday requests and Xmas days off, but we did agree I could take this off unpaid so I would like to stick with that plan if that's at all possible. I am happy to take my Xmas day on whatever other day suits you to avoid any staffing problems'.

That way you are offering as much of a compromise as possible, you are demonstrating that you understand she is under pressure with leave requests at this time of year (which she will be), and you are indicating that you do realise it's difficult. I would have this conversation in person if at all possible, otherwise over the phone. If you are saying all these helpful reasonable things to her face, it's a lot more difficult to refuse you than if it's in an email.

Good luck hope you get it sorted

Thanks for the advice flowery

flowery - don't want to tread on your toes, but just wanted to mention to Weebles that she can take parental leave in one day blocks (or whatever)because her child is disabled. The normal rule about one week blocks doesn't apply then. Maybe it will come in useful next time...

don't worry about treading on toes! - I'd forgotten that, hope it's useful weebles.

Thanks for that info Ribena. My manager changed my day off today, so I'm happy, but in the new year I will talk to her to see if she's aware of parental leave and time off for dependents entitlements.