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How can I win over my boss?

6 replies

wearedevo · 25/08/2021 14:08

Basically, I'm working a temporary job at the moment and I was hoping to get a reference before I leave as my work history is a bit patchy. Despite doing what I believe to be a good job, confirmed by results and feedback from clients, my boss doesn't seem to like me. I get on with other staff members too. I'm always getting passive aggressive comments, being accused of things and she always seems to be picking fault.

I think she's a bit neurotic and projects her own insecurities onto me. When I started a few months ago, during the training I was asking questions and this seemed to get her back up. She seemed to take it personally, but I was really just asking about basic things I needed to know to do my job - what we would be doing on a certain day, the details of certain procedures etc. She just gave me icy cold answers and said something along the lines of 'If you need to know the fine details of everything all the time then you're going to have trouble working here, you need to go with the flow." I took the hint, but obviously, I sometimes need to know the details in order to do my job, and she always takes it personally if you ask!

Yesterday she falsely accused me of doing something she had requested the staff don't do. It wasn't a big thing, but it's really pissed me off, because I haven't been disobedient at all, I've followed what she's asked me to do the whole time I've been working here. I can understand that perhaps she just doesn't like my personality (not that she knows me very well either) but as a boss I feel she should be a bit more impartial so long as I'm doing my job well. Seriously, what's her problem, and can I do something to get on her good side so I can get a reference to make new job applications? I feel a bit hard done to, as I've really done my best and I need to apply for work after this job finishes, I'm hard up financially, but she's made me feel like she wouldn't want to give me a reference.

OP posts:
unfortunateevents · 25/08/2021 15:19

OP, you are aware that many companies won't give references now beyond confirming start and leave dates, job title, possibly salary and a few other basic facts? Also in some companies it is a disciplinary offence for individual managers to give references or sign a reference request on behalf of the company - in my company everything has to go to HR and is processed by them. So it's unlikely your manager would be able to give you a glowing reference even if she thought you were the best thing since sliced bread anyway!

wearedevo · 25/08/2021 15:24

@unfortunateevents Thanks for the response. I work in Higher Education, and from my experience they contact the former Head of Department/Course Leader, so I'm pretty sure she is the one they will contact.

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daisychain01 · 26/08/2021 06:27

Can you approach HR and ask for a bland reference with just dates of employment and job title to be available on your last day of work, to enable you to seek new employment. I can't imagine an employer being vindictive enough to refuse to assist you in getting new work, when it sounds like a personality clash rather than a performance issue.

wearedevo · 26/08/2021 07:55

That's a good idea, thanks @daisychain01
I don't know what to expect from my boss, she strikes me as having a borderline personality or something, taking every question as a criticism and suspecting I'm doing things behind her back, when I'm just trying to get on with my job in exactly the way she's asked us to.

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PearlyBird · 26/08/2021 07:58

Stop trying id say.

Temp job.

Move on.
Reference will probably give the dates you were there and no more.

wearedevo · 26/08/2021 08:28

Yes, I asked my employer before this one to give me a reference and I know they were pleased with my work, so at least I'll have that as well.

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