To not bother fighting my case and to just leave?

[Nahor]

I have been getting bullied at work for almost 10 months, Some outright cases of being screamed and shouted at, But mostly very subtle things, Being totally ignored, Whenever I speak to my manager recieving one word responses or just a look and then being ignored. Being left out of important communications that are relevant to my job, Being belittled, Being denied training and development opportunities.
They constantly speak about other people that work for the company in degrading ways also, It's been 'dealt' with on previous occasions but this was to say that it was all my interpretation of events and that was it. So not really dealt with at all.

I'd had enough of the toxic environment and I reported everything. This has now resulted in an investigation.
However after looking for a new job and getting one! I feel very conflicted.
I am waiting on an official offer, The meeting re the investigation is this week.

I originally wanted it all to be informal but this decision was taken out of my hands, I want to just cut my losses and go, I appreciate that management are now trying to fix the issues but I feel it's too late, The toxicity and the bullying has left me with absolutely no confidence and my mental health has never been this bad. I haven't slept properly since I found out about the meeting, I feel sick constantly.

I feel like I'm giving up leaving, and the old me would have fought until I won because I am in the right and the way I have been treated is wrong. I will have to do the meeting, and I also feel it's important as it will hopefully make it better for the next person in the job!

Do I go? Or do I stay and see if things will get better from now on?

Leave. You've reported it all and people are aware but you're absolutely not giving up or letting them win by leaving. Just walk away and build a happier life for yourself

It will not get better. I think you will be resented by those being investigated if you stay.

Thank you for your advice,

The new job is a major step up, I was so surprised when I got offered it as I was so convinced I'd done terribly in the interview.

I hope I can make it work.

Sorry you've been treated like that, but well done for speaking up! Long term, i think i'd be looking to move to a different company. Short term, Is there a sideways move you can make, so u have a different manager? Can you afford to leave without securing another job first?

I would be looking for a settlement payment from the company for you to leave. In the meantime start looking for a new job

I have tried but unfortunately no transfers available, I have tried so hard to make it work.
I can't leave without another job, I'm hoping this one I have been offered works out

I don't think this would ever happen as they've stated several times they don't want me to leave....but have done nothing to make my working environment better.

Definitely go once you get a new job. The new opportunity sounds fab, congrats and well done. I hope it all comes through.

Go to the meeting and, as @drpet49 says, wait to see what they say and if they don't offer a settlement (which they may - my friend had this) tell them it's affected your mental health so much that you would consider accepting a settlement in return for handing in your notice. If they offer a settlement say you need to think about it for a couple of days.

Once you get your formal offer in on your new job, accept it AND the settlement
If the new one doesn't work out any potential settlement might keep you going for a couple of months to find something or you could say on reflection, I'd like to stay and wait it out till you get something else xx

To be clearer, I meant to suggest you say you would consider a settlement in return for handing in your notice as a resolution to this issue. That way you're offering them an out.

Do people really do that? Offer settlements? Surely that's a massive admission of guilt.

Leave!

I could have written your post!

There is more to life!

Leave and don't look back !

@Sodapopandritalin

Do people really do that? Offer settlements? Surely that's a massive admission of guilt.

Some cloud cuckoo land thinking here I'm afraid.

Unless there is some indication of discrimination, they aren't just going to open their cheque book and pay you a chunk of cash. Why would they do that? They will fight to the bitter end not to give you anything other than empty promises.

They will claim to be "sorting things out internally" but the reality is, unless specific heads roll or people are given warning that certain behaviour is unacceptable (like the person who shouts at staff, the manager who doesn't engage, ignored and gives 1 word answers because they can, the person who deliberately marginalises and isolates staff by leaving them out of important comms) nothing will actually change.

It's a toxic culture, the best thing to do is not waste a single moment more than you have to, and get out. You'll find a different company won't find that behaviour acceptable. Hopefully your job offer will come through and you can depart as soon as possible.

OP, leave as soon as you have the new job in hand. It’s a step up that you say you didn’t think you could achieve - no doubt because the bullying has impacted your self-esteem - and you have already been braver than most would in standing up to things. You are leaving a winner on all counts and shouldn’t stay a minute longer in a toxic culture that isn’t going to change. Channel your energies into being a positive influence in your fab new role.

Definitely leave. You don't have a happy future there. You can do your bit by cooperating in the investigation and giving an honest exit interview while you are still there. Then go and get out of the toxic environment.

I did think this, I've never heard of anyone at my company getting a settlement, Just lots of people being bullied and driven out and being left on their arse!

Thank you for all your advice, Fingers crossed this job offer comes through on Monday

I would take the new job but still participate in the investigation. It may be too late for them to retain you, but it could make things a little better for those that replace you. If they've taken it out of your hands and gone formal I suspect they have been waiting for a complaint so they can look at the issue properly

Agree with @gurglebelly. Fantastic you've got a new job, well done you.

OP think you've had a name change fail?

I would mention ACAS, unions and employment solicitors in my meeting if it was me (even if I had no intention of following through with using them) just to put the fear of God into them.

@WobblyLondoner

Agree with *@gurglebelly*. Fantastic you've got a new job, well done you.

OP think you've had a name change fail?

I name changed before and forgot to change it back 😂

And thank you 😊

You have a name change fail OP - just letting you know because it can be hard finding your responses when they're not jumping out brightly

Ah we've all noticed at the same time! :D

I have raised concerns at least 4 times and it's been played down.

I think I raised all the issues and they panicked and contacted legal as they knew they should have dealt with these things previously.

I worry for the next poor bugger that's in the job, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I also think I'm a bit thick when it comes to Mumsnet 😂 Apologies.

@Sodapopandritalin

I have raised concerns at least 4 times and it's been played down.

I think I raised all the issues and they panicked and contacted legal as they knew they should have dealt with these things previously.

I worry for the next poor bugger that's in the job, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

People come on here all the time complaining that they have been bullied or been in a toxic workplace for years - I have worked in places where the atmosphere was toxic - they changed line managers and they changed dept managers but it remained toxic - I concluded it was an infectious cultural thing - the incumbent team members had a victim mentality and complained non stop. Personally I thought they should have sacked the whole dept and started all over again. There is no solution but to leave - hanging around should be the last option you should consider - we need to adopt a LTB approach to work. Toxic relationships never improve.