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Original poster

To not bother fighting my case and to just leave?

58 replies

Nahor · 17/07/2021 20:02

I have been getting bullied at work for almost 10 months, Some outright cases of being screamed and shouted at, But mostly very subtle things, Being totally ignored, Whenever I speak to my manager recieving one word responses or just a look and then being ignored. Being left out of important communications that are relevant to my job, Being belittled, Being denied training and development opportunities.
They constantly speak about other people that work for the company in degrading ways also, It's been 'dealt' with on previous occasions but this was to say that it was all my interpretation of events and that was it. So not really dealt with at all.

I'd had enough of the toxic environment and I reported everything. This has now resulted in an investigation.
However after looking for a new job and getting one! I feel very conflicted.
I am waiting on an official offer, The meeting re the investigation is this week.

I originally wanted it all to be informal but this decision was taken out of my hands, I want to just cut my losses and go, I appreciate that management are now trying to fix the issues but I feel it's too late, The toxicity and the bullying has left me with absolutely no confidence and my mental health has never been this bad. I haven't slept properly since I found out about the meeting, I feel sick constantly.

I feel like I'm giving up leaving, and the old me would have fought until I won because I am in the right and the way I have been treated is wrong. I will have to do the meeting, and I also feel it's important as it will hopefully make it better for the next person in the job!

Do I go? Or do I stay and see if things will get better from now on? Confused

OP posts:
Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 11:05

The worst part is that they have done this, An entirely new team a couple of years ago... It's like it's embedded into the company

DogsSausages · 18/07/2021 11:15

Gosh, I think we must work for the same people, the day I walked out after the manager had her usual rant , showing off in front of other staff, was the best day I ever spent there. The bullying and spite was awful, I briefly thought about putting in a grievance or go down the constructive dismissal route bt I just couldn't be bothered with any of them anymore. You dont need these idiots in your life, take the new job, management know about the bullying, who is the meeting with. You have done your bit, let them sort it out.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 11:50

@DogsSausages

Gosh, I think we must work for the same people, the day I walked out after the manager had her usual rant , showing off in front of other staff, was the best day I ever spent there. The bullying and spite was awful, I briefly thought about putting in a grievance or go down the constructive dismissal route bt I just couldn't be bothered with any of them anymore. You dont need these idiots in your life, take the new job, management know about the bullying, who is the meeting with. You have done your bit, let them sort it out.
Oh I have been so tempted, I have never been treated so poorly and with such little respect.

I have decided I'm going to take this new job as soon as the offer comes through, It is not enough hours though so I will have to get a second job.

Nervous but I think I finally need to do something that makes me happy and hopefully get a better working environment.

gurglebelly · 18/07/2021 11:56

@MrsMoastyToasty

I would mention ACAS, unions and employment solicitors in my meeting if it was me (even if I had no intention of following through with using them) just to put the fear of God into them.
Yeah, hate to piss on your chips but that doesn't put the fear of god into anyone that deals with employee relations. It's a pretty standard response and most HR people will just roll their eyes at it (in private of course)
Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:04

I agree, I mean if anything ever happens, Employees are given the number for ACAS and relevant union. It certainly doesn't put the fear of God into me when mentioned 😂

DukeofEarlGrey · 18/07/2021 12:05

we need to adopt a LTB approach to work. Toxic relationships never improve

So true. I wish I had known this at a younger age.

DogsSausages · 18/07/2021 12:08

OP, Pleeeeese tell me your job isn't in healthcare, some of the worse managers I have ever had the displeasure of "working" with.

TSSDNCOP · 18/07/2021 12:15

Resign, citing the reason you are leaving.

You have already raised a grievance stating that you have been bullied and which they have been tardy in responding to.

This forms two parts of the criteria for constructive dismissal. If you accept an SA you cannot claim CD.

This is useful from ACAS:

Constructive dismissal
If an employee feels they have no choice but to resign because of something their employer has done, they might be able to claim for 'constructive dismissal'.

The legal term is 'constructive unfair dismissal'.

What constructive dismissal is
An employee can make a constructive dismissal claim if they resign because they think their employer has seriously breached their employment contract.

Examples could include:

regularly not being paid the agreed amount without a good reason
being bullied or discriminated against
raising a grievance that the employer refuses to look into
making unreasonable changes to working patterns or place of work without agreement
It could be because of one serious incident or a series of things.

If you're in this situation
Resigning is a big step to take, and a constructive dismissal claim can be difficult to win at an employment tribunal.

It's important to try to sort out any issues with your employer first. You can raise a problem informally or raise a formal grievance. Find out how to raise a problem at work.

If you're going to resign, you should get legal advice first.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:18

@DogsSausages

OP, Pleeeeese tell me your job isn't in healthcare, some of the worse managers I have ever had the displeasure of "working" with.
In a way yes it is relating to the healthcare sector.

It breaks me that these people are so diverse and understanding to the people the vulnerable people they support but cannot be a decent human being to their colleagues.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:19

@TSSDNCOP

Resign, citing the reason you are leaving.

You have already raised a grievance stating that you have been bullied and which they have been tardy in responding to.

This forms two parts of the criteria for constructive dismissal. If you accept an SA you cannot claim CD.

This is useful from ACAS:

Constructive dismissal
If an employee feels they have no choice but to resign because of something their employer has done, they might be able to claim for 'constructive dismissal'.

The legal term is 'constructive unfair dismissal'.

What constructive dismissal is
An employee can make a constructive dismissal claim if they resign because they think their employer has seriously breached their employment contract.

Examples could include:

regularly not being paid the agreed amount without a good reason
being bullied or discriminated against
raising a grievance that the employer refuses to look into
making unreasonable changes to working patterns or place of work without agreement
It could be because of one serious incident or a series of things.

If you're in this situation
Resigning is a big step to take, and a constructive dismissal claim can be difficult to win at an employment tribunal.

It's important to try to sort out any issues with your employer first. You can raise a problem informally or raise a formal grievance. Find out how to raise a problem at work.

If you're going to resign, you should get legal advice first.

I haven't been employed for 2 years which I thought meant I wasn't entitled to go for constructive dismissal.
DogsSausages · 18/07/2021 12:20

I had a sinking feeling it might be, you will be so much happier once you've gone.

Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 12:21

One person can't fix a toxic culture. It's not your responsibility. Leave. Be happy.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:25

@DogsSausages

I had a sinking feeling it might be, you will be so much happier once you've gone.
I hope I am moving onto bigger and better things, but after this my confidence is shot and I just feel I can't trust anyone.

I think the last 10 months will take me 10 years to recover from 😂

DogsSausages · 18/07/2021 12:27

If you go for constructive dismissal you will still have to have contact with them, I couldn't bear the thought of wasting my time and energy when I could just be getting on with my new job and meeting decent people. I would leave, give as little notice as you need to, take annual leave in lieu if you can.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:30

@DogsSausages

If you go for constructive dismissal you will still have to have contact with them, I couldn't bear the thought of wasting my time and energy when I could just be getting on with my new job and meeting decent people. I would leave, give as little notice as you need to, take annual leave in lieu if you can.
I can't claim constructive dismissal anyway.

I am looking forward to moving on, But sad that I could have had so many opportunities with this company. Ah well, Life goes on.

tartanblanketdog · 18/07/2021 12:33

Don't mention anything negative on leaving. Mention only better moving for a opportunity - just like you'd tell another employer - don't leave with shit sticking to you!

TSSDNCOP · 18/07/2021 12:35

Apologies, I didn't see that you had less than 2 years service.

wheresmyhairytoe · 18/07/2021 12:35

Been there, done that, had the breakdown to go with it!

Leave, don't look back.

I still have panic attacks going in shops near the old place incase I bump in to someone from there.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 12:39

@tartanblanketdog

Don't mention anything negative on leaving. Mention only better moving for a opportunity - just like you'd tell another employer - don't leave with shit sticking to you!
I obviously have the grievance which was my chance to tell them how unhappy I was.

I'm going to just tell it like it is, It's a better opportunity for me, It's a good route for development.

DogsSausages · 18/07/2021 12:41

Sadly some private health providers seem to have the most awful reputation for bullying their staff, the managers are only there to make as much money for the company as they can and really dont seem to care about much else.

carlywurly · 18/07/2021 12:44

I'd go but make the biggest loudest fuss you can on the way out. Doing so for me in a similar situation meant a nice stretch of garden leave and hopefully shone the light on some of the shit.

It was a vile place. Hr manager was owner's sister. Nowhere to go.

onceivepostedidontcomeback · 18/07/2021 12:55

Cut your losses and go, it will never be what you want it to be.

Sodapopandritalin · 18/07/2021 13:01

@carlywurly

I'd go but make the biggest loudest fuss you can on the way out. Doing so for me in a similar situation meant a nice stretch of garden leave and hopefully shone the light on some of the shit.

It was a vile place. Hr manager was owner's sister. Nowhere to go.

I feel I have done this in the form of the grievance, I will need a reference from this company so as much as I want to tell them all what I think of them, I'm going to need to bite my tongue
tartanblanketdog · 18/07/2021 13:21

@carlywurly

I'd go but make the biggest loudest fuss you can on the way out. Doing so for me in a similar situation meant a nice stretch of garden leave and hopefully shone the light on some of the shit.

It was a vile place. Hr manager was owner's sister. Nowhere to go.

Don't do this - company won't change their behaviour, won;t care what you think but they will note your behaviour in a file and could pass it on to the next employer - and that will never make you look good - regardless of the history of the situation. Smile graciously and more on.
MushMonster · 18/07/2021 13:26

Grab that new job as soon as you get the official offer! Do not be tempted to stay in this place.
You will still have the meeting though, so you can give all the details of what happened and that would help to whoever takes your place.

Best luck on your new job Flowers

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