Can work do this, is it discrimination?

[summer2021whereareyou]

My manager thinks I have anorexia. I have a BMI that's 1lb underweight, but they keep asking me if I have an eating disorder. They don't believe me when I say I just started eating healthy and exercising. I have been asked 5 times if I'm anorexic, and I feel their eyes on me all day to check what and when I'm eating.

They've now got a colleague to shadow me and learn to do my tasks Incase I go off sick soon. I feel uncomfortable, and insecure. I won't be going off sick, but I feel they see me as a liability.

Can they do this?

Hmmm The colleague who is shadowing you, who is doing her job?

Another member of the team @ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

That's really odd I honestly don't know what to advise sorry

This all sounds very bizarre and inappropriate on their part.

Is there more to this story? What is your job? In what context have they asked you about eating disorders? Have you actually been told that she’s shadowing you in case you go off sick with an eating disorder?

@TheMotherlode I've been told she's shadowing me incase I go off sick yes

Well-being in the workplace is a hot topic at the moment

Hmm. It's either hugely inappropriate or they've seen something that gives them real cause for concern. Possibly both, but they mean well.

They should refer you to OH if they're so concerned.

Have you been off sick recently? Something in your behaviour may have changed to cause concern.

It’s possibly discriminatory but really hard to say without a lot of detail. Would be useful to have some context to help understand the situation better. Has this just come out of the blue? Have you had a lot of sickness absence recently? Are you the only one who is being shadowed like this?

I think there is more to this than you’re posting. No workplace in the history of workplaces puts those kind of measures in place for someone who’s 1lb underweight with no background or previous issues.

If you are honest about your situation, people might be able to help you.

Utterly Bizarre and inappropriate

Can you give a bit more background?
How long have you worked there? Have you recently lost lots of weight? What is your actual weight and height?

Something has prompted them to flag this as an issue.

We have started at work making sure that more than one person has knowledge/skills so if someone is sick/quits we don’t lose that knowledge and someone else can step in so work having someone shadow you is probably sensible working practice but they really should at some point do it for everyone else too.

In my experience of eating disorders the person who is ill doesn’t see it at all and is convinced they are normal/fat and their eating/exercise patterns are completely normal when they are not.
No one on mumsnet can really telly ok if your work are wrong for being concerned as we only have your word that your do not have a problem.

I sense a drip feed

Sorry this has happened, OP. It sounds really awkward.

It's difficult to say for sure without more information, but it doesn't sound like it would fit the legal definition of discrimination (under UK law).

Having said that, it does sound wildly inappropriate. If you're looking to raise a formal complaint then your employer's bullying / harassment policy would probably be a better bet than discrimination.

Bizarre re the shadow. Who has the extra staff for that?!

Did you lose weight incredibly suddenly? Maybe the change has shocked them? (I’ve just checked what weight I would be 1lb underweight on on the BMI calculator and I would look very thin indeed at this weight.)

Do you have a union? Maybe you could ask them for advice?

I agree there is more to this story.

Either they are very blatantly laying the foundations for forcing you onto sick leave/leaving the job or there is more you aren’t disclosing here.

Definitely inappropriate!!

What kind of work is it? I’d be going to my union or higher up and complaining!

I have things going on and I was asked by someone if everything is ok as I look unwell and haven’t been myself. I said I am fine and they said they are there to chat if I ever need it. But they’ve not said anything since as it is not their business. It’s one thing to look out for someone and worry about them but to keep on about it is not ok.

To them it seems like I lost weight quickly. Because I lost it over winter while on furlough /working from home. In reality it was over 8 months.

I've never taken a day off sick

If you genuinely don't have an eating disorder and haven't given then reason to think something is wrong health-wise then this is harassment. I'd have a meeting with HR and tell them you feel harassed and that this isnt acceptable.

There must absolutely be more to this than you looking thin .

It's very peculiar for your manager to decide that you are imminently about to be off work to the point of having someone shadowing your role! It would seem to me to be some kind of harassment/bullying.

Have you been able to speak to your manager and say that you feel this behaviour is a form of bullying?

@summer2021whereareyou

To them it seems like I lost weight quickly. Because I lost it over winter while on furlough /working from home. In reality it was over 8 months.

I've never taken a day off sick

I think you probably look much thinner than you think you do. 1oz or 1lb, underweight is underweight.

Seems unclear and what type of industry are you working in.
Any workplace needs back up to be ready to cover a position because when it is not the workload will fall back on to you or make asking for your actual need for leave less of a issue
I would advice anyone unsure to talk to a union if they feel work is behaving inappropriately.
Weight flaucations happen but is yours a mass decrease from your last health check?

Had this happen to me at uni~ ended up leaving because of it. Happy for a PM to discuss if it helps.!

Probably the worst of it was they were so fixated on my alleged eating disorder, they missed another student’s actual relapse