Can work do this, is it discrimination?

[summer2021whereareyou]

My manager thinks I have anorexia. I have a BMI that's 1lb underweight, but they keep asking me if I have an eating disorder. They don't believe me when I say I just started eating healthy and exercising. I have been asked 5 times if I'm anorexic, and I feel their eyes on me all day to check what and when I'm eating.

They've now got a colleague to shadow me and learn to do my tasks Incase I go off sick soon. I feel uncomfortable, and insecure. I won't be going off sick, but I feel they see me as a liability.

Can they do this?

This sounds inappropriate in a work setting. It may be that you look too thin - when my BMI was 20 I was a size 6 on top with a lollipop head and my friends were genuinely worried. Looking back I did look ill, I’m 5ft7 with big bones and I was so obsessed with my diet I wouldn’t even have milk in my tea. But my work certainly didn’t comment on it! Can you speak to HR so they can get your manager to back off?

It’s perfectly reasonable to habe a back up employee capable of doing a role in case of absence. In fact it’s prudent and good business management.

The issue here is the op thinks it’s because she’s knocking herself sick and won’t be able to work.

This is very strange.

Have you been off sick a lot in the past?

If you've gone from half a stone overweight (so a BMI of around 27?) to 1lb underweight and a BMI of 18, you'll look hugely different to how you did. And it's highly likely that you look thin and gaunt, rather than slim.
That is quite worrying for anyone to see, and it's not a massive leap to think that you may have developed issues with food as a result of the stress from COVID, furlough, and whatever else may possibly be going on in your life.
If your work is worried, it should be approached discretely and sensitively, but it's probably not a huge surprised that they are actually worried.

This is bonkers op. And one pound underweight is no more worrying than one pound overweight. So are they following all the people who are even slightly overweight around work, and putting replacements at the ready? Please complain.

Oh gosh you were half a stone overweight before?!!!! How did you manage to do your job?? Were they following you about questioning you then, as they should have been judging by what they are doing now?

@DeadCertain they weren't diagnosing you, though, were they? They were spotting a harmful pattern of behaviour and addressing it. I understand that it must have been embarrassing, but eating disorders become quite obvious. My DD is in treatment for an eating disorder and there were other girls in the ward she was on. It was obvious which ones were there for an ED.

how tall are you, OP?
Does anyone in your life believe you might have a different mental illness?

This is genuinely bizarre and needs to be resolved. I couldn;t work somewhere like that!

I don't know how you resolve - in my workplace I would pursue it with HR or escalate to my manager's manager - is that an option for you?

@summer2021whereareyou - it could be you are assuming 2 things are related when they are not.

Before returning people to work, most companies have done covid assessments and looked at how they arrange things before bringing back the furloughed staff.

Part of that will be having plans in place in case track and trace contact any of their staff and they have to isolate for 10 days. If you have a job that can't be done remotely, or are the only person in the company who knows how to do it, then it will have been flagged up that you being forced to self isolate for 10 days would create a business problem.

The learning how to do your job in case you are sick probably has nothing to do with how unwell or healthy you currently look.

You may look unwell (i did when my BMI dropped to 19, even though I was a healthy weight), but that's not necessarily the thinking behind getting other staff trained in how to do your role. Ask about, you might find other people are having training on other roles as well so that if any of you get the T&T call, the business can keep moving.

If OP has an ED the way they are going about it won't help her or wellbeing. If anything, it's more likely to be harmful. The constant questioning, the watching, judgement on how /when she eats and the very obvious preparation for a crash. It's more vultures waiting for a body to finally give up rather than care and support.

While it is good practice to have more people able to do a job, this is happening only to OP(is she really the only one that does a job that no one else know how to do?) , and it only started after she lost weight. Hell, they told her to her face it's in case she goes off sick.

I don't think it's discrimination going by law, but it definitely isn't best practice or reasonable and it's very inappropriate.

@1boo1

If you genuinely don't have an eating disorder and haven't given then reason to think something is wrong health-wise then this is harassment. I'd have a meeting with HR and tell them you feel harassed and that this isnt acceptable.

But whatever you do, don't tell them your weight!

Is it private or public sector? If public a manager can refer you to a well being service to identify any issues. You don't have to consent to your manager seeing the report if you don't want to.
What job do you do? If it involves machinery they have a duty if care to your safety. They could be worried you faint and fall into a machine.

If you know you are 1lb underweight why are you still dieting and exercising? They are looking out for you. Don't knock it. Plenty of places wouldn't.

That is offensive chocolate orange. How about I say to people one pound overweight 'If you know you are one pound overweight, why are you still pigging out and sitting on your arse?' Neither is acceptable.