Really peed off - can't find an au pair - groan

[lisalisa]

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poor you - 1 reason why we haven't gone round down that route yet, also put off as good friend's 1st au-pair turned out to be druggy, though their current one's great (got via word of mouth, best way IMO)

Lisalisa,
Have you tried putting and add in The Lady? Also, can I ask how much information you have in your profile on great au pair. I put all of the bad stuff in the profile so as to weed out those who wouldn't be happy. For instand I described our house / her room. We are not hugely wealthy, so I didn't want to attract the sort of girl who would be looking to live in some posh mansion in may fair and have "Sound of Music" expectations.

That might aid your weeding out process??

Have you tried looking at au pairs who do not already live in the UK? I recommend Estonia. I do not recommend young girls from Poland.

Wish I could help more. Sorry your having a tough time. Hiring and managing au pairs can be really hard work.

lisalisa, do you know anyone who's already got an aupair? one on our road got her sister (s.american) a job with a neighbour. worth a try if you know any.

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I don't mean change families, but might know a friend or sister who wants a similar job, ie 2 girls on our road now work & live with 2 diff families and one got the sister only after hearing about the first one. sorry that sounds v complicated!!

Ooohh topical for me Lisalisa, I have just registered with greataupair too. I have been contacted by lots of potentials and am trying to decide whether to pay the fee to take it further. What happened to the handful who contacted you - none suitable? Also, do you know if they are rsponsible for their own flights over as the ones who contacted me were all still abroad...

I am surprised, and sorry you are having a tough time. I wonder if it might be down to timing. I went through Great Au Pair twice -- once in May/June, and once in July/August. I do remember that there were a lot more options in June than in August. Perhaps it is the time of year? When people have finished school, and may be looking to go aboard for year? Or, if older, this would be when her kids have finished school?

Gosh, I wish I could help more. Have you tried an ad in The Lady? I never did that, but I hear it is THE place to advertise for domestic help of any kind.

LisaLisa - you could be me! I am looking for an Au Pair from January next year and am using aupairforum.com and aupair-world.net. I didn't use Greataupair as I thought it was too expensive.

Personally, I prefer aupair-world.net - better at keeping you informed, being able to update your favourites/messages, better candidates.

I have got a few candidates but I am in the same boat as you, I seem to get on well with some of them, asking them some questions via a few emails, and then...nothing...no reply...nothing. My dh thinks I scare them off but I want the right person. Maybe I'll look at those questions and use them instead.

However, where are you? When are you looking for someone? I have the details of one au pair who is currently living close to me and is desparately looking for short-term work, if you're interested.

Have you tried nannyjob.co.uk? My friend got her Nanny off here. It's free as well. Good Luck!

Out of interest Uwila, why are Estonians good and Polish girls not? (just interested for future reference!)

I was somewhat joking. My first "au pair" was a young Polish girl and she was terrible. We intentionally looked for a polish girl that time because they have a reputation for being honest and hard working. I suppoe she was the latter, but she had a world of flaws -- and I won't hijack this thread by going into them. The one we have now is Estonian and she is wonderful. Also, when I called the reference of the Estonian woman (an English couple who live in Estonia) she told me that they have had a few Estonian employees and they have all been great. She said she now prefers to hire Estonians (but of course that's a bit easier for her since she is in Estonia).

There is also a big age difference. Polish girl was 20. And Estonian woman is 48. So it's quite possibly the age that makes them different.

Also, my "au pairs" are more like a nanny with light housework. So the job description may not to comparable to what you guys are looking for.

21cg I have registered now with au-pairworld and will let you if I get any further than e-mails!

Good Luck redshoes - I'll certainly be jealous if you do. I've changed my profile a bit just to let them know that I'll be asking a lot of questions. So if they can't take the heat. Hope something comes of yours if so will be so so

I have a Polish au pair and I am not particularly happy with her. I still feel good about having an au pair, but I think I will ask her to leave when she goes home at Christmas, and replace her with a new one.

She's our first au pair, so I don't know if it's just her, or if it is a Polish thing. She doesn't particularly like cleaning - she does it, but she's not happy; and she doesn't seem to like children very much. She doesn't talk to any of us, so her English is still cack after almost 4 months. She spends as much time in her room as possible, and has made it clear that she doesn't like (or approve) of our food.

But, it is so nice to have someone clean everyday, take children to school, and babysit at night - even if they are miserable. We are used to it now and have a "better the devil you know" attitude.

We are lucky in that DH's employer pays the agency fees as a perk, even if it's multiple times a year. And as I've been told by several other mothers - plenty more where they came from. Ruthless, but true.

Well 21cg I am sifting through all the emails, but how do you choose!!! Are we expected to pay towards their travel costs? If so, won't have an oz or a filipina!
I had a Polish cleaner (someone elses au pair) who was very sweet but couldn't actually clean...and once spent 2 hours 'wiping down the tiles in the bathroom' - talk about slow!

No, you aren't expected to pay travel costs. All you are expected to pay is their "pocket money", but it is nice to give them a few extras to get them settled. For example, I bought my au pair a mobile phone (well, bought a new one for DH and gave her his old one) plus some time, and because she came without a dictionary, I bought her one of those too.

our polish cleaner is utterly, utterly fantastic. she is very hard working and i can't believe how much she gets done in the time. she is honest, reliable and very thorough. she is pleasant and tries very hard with english. i would/have trusted her with baby sitting as well. she even buys us presents from time to time!

my point... i feel rather uncomfortable with some of the generalisations on this thread. i'm sure there are hard working/lazy, quick/slow etc etc people in every country - including this one of course.

Ummm - don't want to start any argy bargy (esp. as I have to log off to go to work and wont be around to defend myself ) but am I the only one who is slightly uncomfortable with some of the assumptions on this thread (cultural stereotypes, 'disposable' employees etc...). Don't get me wrong, I'm not madly pc and I do appreciate that many of these comments are light hearted but I still feel just a wee bit uncomfortable. Sorry, I could probably have worded this better as I probably shouldn't post this at all given I'm not around to answer any replies. Not trying to be a kill joy or anything - honest

sorry serenequeen - posts crossed.

haha zippy! you have done all the smileys so i will get all the brickbats no doubt!

lisalisa, did you try Simply Childcare (entity that used to be The Register)? Or are they too nanny-focussed and not really for au pairs?

... can I just observe in passing that we have a beloved efficient charming Polish cleaner (currently ex, as she wants to work as a teacher and we have a nanny/housekeeper for the moment) who's since become a friend to call on in any emergency - helped with dd's birthday last week and firmly refused payment. So there.

I've only talked about my own personal experience of having a Polish au pair, and hopefully anyone that's interested can see that I'm not extrapolating to all Polish people. There's always going to be an exception to the norm, but it doesn't mean that you have to ignore the norm.

As to the "disposable" nature of employees - isn't that the case for anyone? Does anyone seriously think that the person you are going to have living in your house and having some responsibility for childcare is going to be free from any scrutiny? Surely not! It is a fairly obvious part of the au pair culture that they are not tolerated if they don't fit in with the family and that there are plenty more willing to take their place. Sorry if that's not politically correct - it's real life. It also a fairly mutual opinion - an unhappy au pair isn't going to want to stay and it's not as if they are refugees.

Reading this thread has made me very sad. So many racist comments. No wonder we have to think carefully when planning a interracial thread to avoid such racial generalisations.