I'm going to have to turn down this offer aren't I?

[Accounting101]

I'm in a dilemma and I'm desperate for some kind of reassurance. I've got an offer for a graduate scheme at a good accounting firm to start later in the year.

I'm mid-20's and a lone parent. I was concerned before applying whether I would be able to manage with accounting being prone to long hours and all the studying involved. But, I'd got in touch with someone at the firm who assured me that this particular office pretty much never goes beyond 9-5 for my department (fine, as my LO will be in nursery). I'm also very used to studying nights and weekends so that isn't much of a problem.

I thought I had it all planned out. Yesterday, however, I spoke to someone in the firm who in conversation mentioned the bock study leave I'd need to go on for the training courses. Probably very naive of me but I had assumed these would be local. They're not, it would be a 2 hour journey to a different city and would require me to stay there for 2 (or more) weeks at a time.

I don't have a supportive family so asking them to watch DC isn't really an option. I'm going to have to drop the offer won't I?

Just gutted because I really wanted this opportunity and I feel like I'm going to end up trapped in a NMW job because of my circumstances (very aware this is a sitaution I've got myself into, but it doesn't make it any easier). The firm don't know I have a child. I know the courses were remote this year due to Covid, but having asked, they think these will be back to normal should things with Covid clear up. Even if that isn't true of this year, I'm assuming it will at some point throughout the 3 year training period, in which I'll be stuck in the same situation.

Aghh I'm just gutted, I really wanted this job (was up against a fair few so I was also very lucky) and it would be a great opportunity for me and my LO. I'm not sure why I'm really posting, Its just so frustrating and I feel rather hopeless at the moment!

Have you talked to them yet? The majority of people on these schemes are that those on them have very few (if any) ties or responsibilities so it is easy for them to do things like this but my experience is that they will do all that they can to accommodate it. You may have to really spell out what your problems are though. Many of those you work with won't have young children themselves or, if they do, won't be the one primarily responsible for sorting out childcare - and, actually, for all of the other things that go with having a looking after a child. They may make a big fuss about dropping their child off once a week, taking their child to a football and nativity plays and sports days but not the day to day grind. When I went back after maternity - which, at the time and in the department I was in, was pretty unusual - I really had to spell things out to my managers, one of whom was childfree but the other two had young children but a stay at home wife. I also looked back at the couple of juniors I'd had working for me and thought of countless little ways I probably could have made things easier for them if only I'd realised what being a parent involved or they'd told me.

Accept the job!!

@Accounting101 - how did you get on talking to them?