Exit interview - how not to be harsh?

[musicalfrog]

Manager has offered me an exit interview but tbh much of my problem has been her. Trouble is I'm awfully polite but I want to be honest. I've got a list of ways in which she had failed me... I just can't do it! How do I decline without appearing rude?

Ask for someone else to do the interview.. maybe her line manger.?

Is there an HR department? They should be doing exit interviews exactly for that reason

Shit sandwich. Start with the good. Then pick 2 negatives and raise them. Phrases like “it would have been helpful if...”. Be constructive. Then finish with the main benefit you received from working there.

It’s fine to be honest but also think about what you want to achieve. One thing is to give them pointers to make it better for the next person and the other is to leave a good impression of yourself. You don’t know where your career could take you and you want to leave them with a positive impression of you

Just say that you are not available, end of.

You don't have to be rude to be honest. I once conducted an exit interview when I was a team manager and got a few blunt but not rude home truths. Everything she said was true and it was really useful feedback. We had a very honest conversation (probably the best I'd ever Hadd with her actually) and it changed how I managed in the future. She was moving internally so I still saw her around the building and we always stopped for a chat. I'm a big fan of constructive feedback though. If you're dealing with someone who's very defensive it might go differently.

Shit sandwich is always a good tactic.

So is framing things using I not you. So, it's easier to hear criticism if it's phrased: 'I would have benefited from clearer guidelines and training on X.' Or 'I concentrate better in a less chatty environment. I find interruptions that aren't work related slow me down.' Rather than 'You expected me to deliver that project without a single briefing and you constantly yabber on about your weekend.'

When I left my last job I left because of my line manager so HR did my exit interview. Much better way of doing it

If an employer isn't interesting in listening to or acting upon feedback from existing employees, why do you think they'd do anything to act upon the feedback of employees who are leaving?

HR should be doing it not her. That’s bizarre!

You’re extraordinarily naive if you think using your exit interview to settle a few scores will help your career, or hinder your line manager’s.

Just treat it as the formality it is, be wholly positive and non-committal. Trust me, HR already know you’re leaving because of your line manager - it’s by far the most common reason why people leave their roles.

A career is a long, long game and your current peeves will be forgotten soon enough.

It doesn’t matter who’s doing your exit interviews - it’s always a really bad idea to feed back anything negative when you’re already leaving.

The world is very small these days and you will continue to cross paths with your colleagues.