PLEASE help me with my personal statement!

[bcsnowpea]

So, I'll be looking for a job in November, and am currently updating my resume.

I would really appreciate any comments on the personal statement I have so far:

I am returning to the workplace after a one and a half year sojourn in Canada. I will also be returning to university in March, in order to complete my third year of a Bachelor of Arts degree. I have experience in the retail industry, as well as in an office environment. I have developed skills in customer service, data entry and office administration. I am excited to return to the workplace, and keen to augment my skills base.

Thanks so much. I'm really nervous about heading into the workplace again, especially as dh will be taking time off, and I've only previously held jobs as a teenager, who didn't really have a decent work ethic at the time.

Any help is very much appreciated.

bumpety-bump

Are you aiming this cv at retail, office, customer service or what?
Always tailor it to the job/employer you are sending it to, otherwise it sounds like you are either desperate for anything or don't know your own mind.
Also focus it on what you want to do and the relevant skills or experience you have. Put stuff like career break in Canada (not sojourn) in the cv itself, and put only the really important things an employer needs to know about you in the personal statement bit.

HTH and good luck

Thanks for the tip. I'm not sure what positions I'll be applying for, but I'll try and make it relevant.