Can anyone help me with some futile working mummy guilt please?

[beansprout]

Ds (2.10) has now left his CM's and is starting his settling in week at nursery this week... and I won't be around for the first two days as I have to go away for a big management meeting. His dad is taking him, which is fine etc but (and here's the futile bit), I just feel that I should be there. Ds has been very clingy the last few days and keeps waking up in the night and needing me (dh just won't do, ds has been getting very, very upset). I just feel a bit crap (in fact, make that quite a lot).

Ho hum.

Will it make you feel better if you knew that the minute dh has gone, ds will have a lovely time at nusery?

Can't help with the guilt beyond that because, sadly, you will always feel it - part of the job spec of being a working mother!

And even if you don't feel it, there will be others (usually other women) who manage to make you feel guilty about something.

Thank you! I know he will be ok, as he's a sociable little chap, I just feel crap for a bunch of middle aged men taking priority over him. Bleugh.

Not sure I can help - only sympathise really. My dd is 2.2 and I recently went away for 6 days to a conference. She was really mad at me (then clingy) and I dread having to go away again. I have another conference locally this week that will mean I'm not around as much and I'm feeling guilty as she is going up a day at nursery. The guilt can be quite overwhelming and I think dh is quite sick of hearing about it!

At this age though (2+), most kids seem to love nursery thank goodness. JIll

hi beansprout, sending good vibes your way... I understand how hard this must be for you but it will be great for your DH's relationship with DS to help him through such a milestone.

A few times I've been travelling with work when DD has been off nursery ill and DH has taken time off to be with her. While I do feel awful guilt about not being there, I think it strengthens their bond and shows her that we are her equal carers. This is a subject close to my heart ATM as I'm 39 weeks PG and DD is clinging madly to me- she wants me to do everything for her to the exclusion of DH, but we are sticking to our guns as far as possible to ensure that DH keeps an active role.

Try to let the guilt go- it's pointless- you can't miss the meeting. bring him back some funky post-it notes or a big butterfly clip to play with!