I’m a career coach for women changing direction AMA

[Angliski]

Hello

I’m a career coach with 15 years experience of heaping women find the right rile and change direction. I also have a newborn cluster feeding so am pretty bored. Ask me anything!

Place marking. Coming on to look at a career change and going to read through this ASAP.

Place marking as well...one of the most helpful threads ever. Thank you!

Thank you, I love the "career equation". I've had a few experiences where dream jobs on paper didn't work out that well. This has helped me to understand why.

I was made redundant this week from a job I disliked. I am taking action in what to do next and I found this thread. Thank you for all the advice, I’m a positive person but this has helped me focus in this weird unknown time.
I have had a varied career in a fairly niche area. Having a second child led me in a different direction and into a couple of low paid roles to get experience in a new sector. In the past I have worked with some well known entrepreneurs and I loved being inspired by them. I miss feeling inspired at work so much. You are inspiring.
I am a scanner and a people person and will probably spend my life searching for the right job but thankfully I’ve mainly had good and enjoyable experiences along the way.

Congratulations on your new baby!

Hi @Angliski, I hope you are still here. I've been caught up with lockdown but am now reading your book again and really thinking. Probably like many people, this pause of lockdown has made me think more about my next steps.

I’m still around and you can still ama.

I now have a five month old and am looking at the world of work in dismay - we have GOT to get to a place where work can be humanly juggled with kiddies. I’m reading invisible women by Caroline Perez. I recommend it for women at work considerations. Also for mums, the mother of all jobs is another good read.

I’ve two weeks left to submit my second book draft! Wish me luck- only four chapters to go (squeaky bum)

Ladies I forgot to say, we’ve been running free web classes all through lockdown on career change. Pm me for recordings link.

I am a 45 year old English and History graduate. I fell into general admin roles out of university and have never really used my degree. I had a child nine years ago and took a few out as a SATP as my old role wouldn't let me go part time and I didn't want to stay full time. Five years ago after a good two and a half years of looking and got my current job but there is no progression and while I don't want full time and do what to increase my hours. Again I have been looking for something else for two years and have had quite a few interviews but no offers. My confidence is rock bottom and I have always struggled to sell myself at interview. I am applying for a apprenticeship to gain a level three in child development/EYFS with classroom and preschool experience. How do I sell myself for this complete change? Where do I find the confidence to put myself forward and sell myself as an apprentice when I'm nearly 30 years older than the average apprentice? I have always want to work with children and have some voluntary experience with children and really want this. I can see myself finally have a job I actually love but I am unsure how I can present myself as the best candidate when there will be lots of fresh young applicants. I tend to get flustered and tongue tied in interviews and the more I want a job the worse I am (So I find it's jobs I'm not particularly bothered about that I do get offered as I am less invested).

Thanks @Angliski, I will pm you about the classes.

Reading your book one thing that has struck me is that I don't really know how to make life decisions. I have a lot of fear over making a bad decision and feeling regret afterwards.

I've previously made big decisions by 'opportunity knocks calls'; this has absolved me from having to practice making decisions or feeling any regret if it doesn't work out. It's almost felt like fate (although I don't believe in fate). I have very rarely sat down and actually made a big decision myself.

Having young children I now feel a greater responsibility to be mindful in making decisions, rather than just going with the flow, and a greater sense of responsibility if my choice doesn't work out. This sense has somewhat paralysed my already weak decision-making ability!

I realised this doing the "morning pages" exercise you recommended.

Do you have any recommendations about how to learn to make decisions for somebody who has always just gone with the flow?!

I just wanted to say that this thread is one of the best and most informative that I've read on here. Your responses are fantastic. You are clearly extremely talented in your role.
I need to rtft and note down some key questions to ask both myself and you.
Thank you! I'll be back!

Good luck with your last 4 chapters!

I am so glad I stumbled across this thread!
Do you have 5 minutes to help me?
I fell into IT and always tried to stay technical because it guaranteed my job. Worked for the same company for 25 years moving into a variety of different roles, usually BA/customer interacting roles.
I like talking to customers and then giving them the thing they need. Or fixing broken things and making them right again. Or showing new shiny things that make people’s lives better.
I’ve now moved into management, have been in it 2 years but it doesn’t feel ‘right’.
My manager is trying to get me to manage other people and things in addition to my current workload to get promoted to senior management. While I’m flattered, it’s not really what I want. I am not at all happy in my work and feel trapped.
If I was suited to management surely I would know it by now?

And thanks @Angliski I have bought a copy of your book :)

@jinglecatjingle thanks for buying the book! I hear your frustration. Define your question. And I’ll see what I can do to help :-)

The thing is it sounds like you’re never quite chose to be on the career you are in, so taking a step back and reflecting on it could be really useful. It sounds like the subject matter of IT and things technical does appeal to you do find it interesting is that right? And that you like to fix things be useful helpful solve a problem. What I noticed about technical people is often progression into management takes away the very things that they enjoyed doing the most. So you’re not alone in feeling that perhaps management isn’t a fit. People who are exceptional at management really like growing people nurturing talent and having engage in conversations of that kind. They also usually quite like reporting and data and accountability. People are happiest when they work in the zone of genius, so the question is what is it that defines a successful and satisfying career for you how would you measure your impact? And what kind of environments do you do your best work in? the more you understand about these two things the clear you’ll get about what it is that really needs to change. However listening to you I would agree that management doesn’tSounds like a great fit.

I think the first step in change is to recognise that something just doesn’t suit you and that’s okay. Take a deep breath look in the mirror and say this job just isn’t quite right for me and that’s okay. Giving yourself permission to feel okay about not feeling okay is the first and most important part of making a change.

@Happyinheels sure - come back when you’re ready and thanks for the lovely feedback.

@MrsSneeze so here’s the thing Mrs sneeze. No choice is still a choice. Going with the flow is a choice of strategy that says - ‘ I’ll respond to opportunities as they come up but I won’t be proactive about creating those opportunities myself’.

Nothing wrong with this as a strategy per se. Just noticed that this is a way of making decisions which is I will wait to see what comes along. sounds like in some ways that’s worked quite well for you so far so consider and the value in the way that you have previously been making decisions. however, if what you would like to do is to have more range about the ways in which to make decisions, You may like to consider taking a different approach.

Think about a time when you did make a really conscious decision perhaps it was about where you chose to live or the school you sent your children to Or something that you chose to study. Or maybe a partner? Presumably you didn’t exactly fall into that relationship? What was the difference? Presumably you had a set of criteria by which you were setting out and deciding whether a home, school Or partner would be right for you and your family. The same is true in your career - without a set of criteria it is quite difficult to feel confident about making the right decisions. This is true in any aspect or area of life. This is particularly the case in the world of work where there are lots of different criteria against which we can make our decisions. Perhaps the first thing is to try to decide which experiences you’re really looking for out of your work including how much time you like to spend there and how much money you would like to make.

@DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes. Nice name dig out those lemon hand wipes. I enjoyed that. I hear that you’re sounding like a really lacking confidence right now and that you’re excited because you found something that would you think would really suit you in the world of work that’s great. Every good interview deserves some mindful preparation. And it sounds to me like you have a story to tell about how you got here. If you PM me I’ll send you a link to a webinar we did recently about storytelling for interviews. In the meantime I would say structure you’re thinking like this I’ve been doing XY for this number of years and that is taught me a B and C but in fact but I’m reallyInto is early years et cetera et cetera and here’s why. And while I don’t have the background in DE and F what I do have and then make a list of all the ways in which you’ve developed your experience and engagement and commitment to early years childcare and then finish with and that’s why I think I’m a good fit for this role. I don’t think that age is really a factor here I think it’s more about you feeling like you’re able to put yourself forward is the way that you would like to. Yes there will be a princess who are half your age but you bring a wealth of experience and perspective that makes you a valuable and eligible candidate. Will you want to do is articulate that clearly and prepare and get your story straight.

Is it too late to ask questions?!

I studied 'clothing design and manufacture' and subsequently have worked in fashion (use that term very loosely, it has ranged from high st tailoring to sports gear) in product development for about ten years. Never had a job I liked or felt good at. Last role I was let go due to performance. Which is a long story mainly My introvertedness and lack of enthusiasm for the job and change of owners. I also hate going on work trips to factories/China etc.
The whole thing has killed my confidence, I feel utterly useless.
I want to change direction, but I'm not sure what to (again, my feeling of uselessness is what if I'm just shit?!)

I'm not really sure what I'm asking, maybe what should I do?!

I have the book 'what colour is your parachute?' But not read it yet, do you recommend it?

This is such an interesting thread, thank you! I'm also a scanner and have had two main careers so far which have managed to be varied enough to keep me interested, but now I really feel like I need a change in direction... I'm about to have a baby which will prevent me from doing the best bits of my current job (I'm self-employed) and I just have no idea what to look at next, although I would love to use some of my maternity leave to retrain or start planning my next move. I really struggle with defining my main motivations or interests but I've bought your book and will start working through that, hopefully I will find some answers!

@Angliski

Thank you so much for this thread - such a generous thing to do.

My background is a bit like @JingleCatJingle (IT all my life - mostly analyst roles). Ideally I want to work for myself but not doing IT consultancy or anything - I think I'm burned out by all types of corporate culture.

I'm going to think about your 4 elements and watch your videos, but just wondering have you ever seen ex IT people successfully move out of IT? And if so is there any particular other career / sector that is a good fit for an IT type skill set?

I will definitely answer you all Individually in the coming days. In the meantime, I’ve some recordings of free classes we did - and more to come- on career planning and choosing again. Check out career planning in the pandemic- ericasosna.com/career-matters-free-masterclasses/

It’s great that you are here and taking charge. You may spend 80000 hours at work in your lifetime. It’s worth the effort it takes to reflect and, if appropriate, pivot.

Yes, @DianaPrinceRocks, I’d love to know what else there may be outside of IT.
I considered teaching at one point. Friends of mine have gone on to be compliance consultants and creators of educational content.
There must be something.

Placemarking to read tomorrow.

I saw a career coach a 5 years ago when I couldn't get back in to the workplace because of the length of time I'd been out of it. Not that long, but too long, apparently. Well, I'd got a job I didn't like, they didn't think I fitted in and I was let go. So feel like the world's least employable woman, I had a few sessions with a career coach.

It was a difficult process, thinking about what my values were and so on. She put me through my paces actually. Found it tiring, the process. I didn't think I had the options to be sitting around thinking about my values and who I would or wouldn't work for, but it was a helpful process on reflection. Luckily I got a job and it's a combination of maths, process and people. I like it and now that I'm in a job, valuing myself and knowing my values makes me feel more valuable to the organisation.

My CC had a background in HR and she was lovely. I sometimes think about how i was a little depressed and flat when I had my sessions with her, and I'm not like that.

Oh, and I had a question - do you think tools like Skillsfinder, Myers-Briggs etc are useful for analysing your skills and personality, or are they a load of cobblers?

Very good advice thank you! Placemarking!

This is a really I tweeting read. Thank you.

I have been going through a women's mentoring programme at work (with an external mentor) and just talking through what I like and dislike has really helped me focus on what I enjoy and what goals to set for myself.

Unfortunately a restructuring at work and the current situation made me feel like this all ground to a halt however through the mentoring I have been able to see the positives of the role change in the restructuring which long term will give me a much better skill set for the future. I just need to keep that confidence in myself the mentoring has encouraged me to find!

**interesting