I’m a career coach for women changing direction AMA

[Angliski]

Hello

I’m a career coach with 15 years experience of heaping women find the right rile and change direction. I also have a newborn cluster feeding so am pretty bored. Ask me anything!

I stumbled across this while planning to reach out for help as a back to work mum and this is amazing!

What would you do in my shoes:
Before baby I was progressing in a very busy stressful events career. I went back four days a week after maternity but still travel internationally for a week or so for events and actually now have more responsibility that before which initially I thought was great. I now find it is too much, I make mistakes because I am tired, I am burning out and not up to scratch. I hate to feel this way because I know full well my performance is disappointing. I'm starting to look for other roles but no clue where to start, plus my confidence has taken a knock.

I've read through the thread and for me passions are music, connecting people, psychology, the environment, projects and behind the scenes on event/shows.
The ideal workplace for me is somewhere small and friendly with lots of collaboration and talking - working together creatively or through problems.
Success for me is through feeling accomplished and good at what I do, helping others, making a difference. Money is also important but I don't need to start big if I'm going to change path, I just need potential to grow.
I need flexibility and a supportive environment, I don't do well with catty offices or mean bosses.

I need somewhere I can work part time without the guilt and constant checking of emails on days off or making up time in the evenings when I want to be with family, but don't want to jump ship into a brand new area which might be a big step backwards in career.

Any advice on areas to try or how to feel good about what I do?

@CeceJo congrats on new family member!

Listen I totally hear you. Going back to a full pelt career with a little one is often the point at which mums realise we actually can’t ‘have it all’ when they are super young. You only have so much brain and so much energy and so much time. So the reflection now is - how do I want to allocate these resources in a way that best supports me and my family. So good ok you for thinking again about it.

So you know wha you are looking for. Let’s consider - how could you get it?

First place to look is the company you are in. They know and trust you and would make out if you left, is there a role that more closely fits what you want now? Who could you talk to about this to explore it?

Next your network. You have been in the sector a while I take it? Spend some time thinking about previous connections and network - reconnections with your favourites on linked in and see what they are doing now. Private message them to share your pivot point in life and see if they have any opps. Again they know you, so may be keen to have you on board.

Third, looking wider- who would be your dream employer in the music or psych space? If you don’t yet know the answer to this, which is totally understandable, what short bits of research could you do to find out?

Make a list of top 3. Approach them regardless of any ads. Be complimentary about their work and share value you can add. Aim to get in front of them in person and sell from there.

Those are starters for ten! Reply and we can discuss more!

@Snorkelface how did tha application go?

@marikama you are most welcome!

Hello,

Just wondering how you feel about the latest trend of ex-MLM bots becoming "coaches", or other chancers becoming "wellbeing coaches"? So much of it is horseshit and it's hard to find a genuine coach.

On another note\

I'm in a predicament where I have a well paid and flexible job, commute ok, but I'm bored out of my brain and want something different. I'm experienced in IT and have lost my passion for it (plus the work I've been given since maternity is so so dull compared to the people who haven't been on may leave). I'm not sure whether to pursue a job which is similar to what I do now or to retrain entirely and start afresh. The problem being that any job change would mean a lack of flexibility (I only work 4 days now) and probably a salary drop too! It's so frustrating.

Hey Angliski - registered interest so far, actual application in a couple of months (mainly a box ticking exercise to start with). Still considering if it would be the right thing to do for me and if the finances will stretch but it's a shiny bit of positivity to focus on in the meantime and a good reason to stay put where I am as long as possible to boost my savings. It's a role that generally expects various qualifications (which I don't have) but this option by-passes that and recognises that experience and on the job training in that specific industry are more important. I already have experience in that industry and unqualified experience in the role itself. I'll give it a go come what may.

Hi @Angliski I have spent a couple of weeks getting my thoughts in order to post. I hope you come back to this thread

I am 39 and in a great job, great conditions and great pay. Unfortunately it no longer works for me. The work no longer reflects my values as the organisation has grown and combined with WFH it's taken a toll on my mental health.

I have tried to find a way out whilst in my job, but lack inspiration and energy. I feel burned out. Even retraining on the side hasn't led convincingly to a new career. So I am going 0.5 fte from next month (half my salary is easily a liveable wage).

I hope that this will create the time I need to figure out what to do with my life.

Any reassurance or guidance welcome.

@Angliski This is a very helpful thread.

Firstly, I'd love to read one of your books. Would you PM me a link if you don't wish to out yourself here? Or else recommend me a few. Like others have said, it is difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff when paying for careers coaching or even committing to buying a book.

I'm mid 40s and know I am in a dying industry and won't be able to keep doing what i do fr another 20 years. I'm fairly passionate myself about giving people careers advice - especially helping young people understand the different options they have open to us and what a variety of jobs exist in the world. I have some cross over with my current career but generally it is just something I have an interest in and I am nosey and curious and good at advising others. I don't think I could make a high-paying career out of it but have thought about getting involved with voluntary work that would help me build up some solid skills and qualifications in that area. Do you have any suggestions of the kind of charities or organisations that would be good to get involved with?

My other idea is to change career and look at doing qualifications to get into an IT role. I have always had a slight technical leaning in my jobs and know it is something I have the potential to be good at but I am put off because I have no desire to work for a large corporate company, nor in a male dominated/youth dominated office environment! Where are the best places to look to see what other women are doing and where can I find examples of women who have career changed into an IT/tech role in their later life? I am at a cross roads and need some inspiration that people like me have gone on to do X Y and Z.

I hope that makes sense. Thank you if you take time to reply whilst enjoying your new baby.

@leasedaudi

Re mlm coaches. Everyone is a coach these days. People need to make sure they get referrals and recommendations before they spend money with a provider. That’s true in any field.
Can’t comment specifically on MLM but I am not a fan of that business model.

For you- ok listen this is very black and white. It’s -either I stay bored out of my skull or I retrains nd take a massive pay cut and have massively low flexibility.

Is it possible you could change jobs and have more flexibility? Or terrain and get paid more? Wouldn’t those be preferable options?

I’m a big fan of the idea that where you look is where you go. What this means is that the quality of our thoughts determines what we see. If you want to find a way to get paid well
And have a flexible job that you enjoy, you will start looking for that. If you want to focus on being trapped in a super boring role for the rest of your life, you will find ways to confirm that that is your destiny.

So, are you willing to consider that it might be possible to have more of what you want rather than less? And if so, what first, small, modest action could you take to begin the exploration to get you there?

Hello @Luc1nda thanks for posting- it’s nice to use the old gray cells while breastfeeding a screamer in the Waitrose caff!

No amount of money is worth you losing your health. I’ve burned out being in the wrong role- high status but just not a good fit. In fact I left a big job to start out on my own again because I was getting all kinds of weird side effects - weight gain, weird dizzy feelings, bursting into tears, having to go to bed at 6am etc. So it sounds like reducing your hours and taking care of yourself would be a very good thing, so well done on taking that move.

For everyone, we can often find ways to trim the budget in exchange for sanity. Saving on commuting and coffees is also a help. Look again at budgets and bottom lines and see what can be economised on to buy you the most precious commodity of all- time.

In your reflection time, have a chance to consider - what kinds of experiences are you looking for in your life and work? What experiences light you up? Start from there rather than skills, roles,salaries and training. Starting from the ‘felt’ sense and the imagination gives the poor intellect a break and gives your little inner child and gentle heart a chance to dream again. Work can be brutal. It overuses the intellect and the adult and the rational- so it’s hrd to hear the still small voice inside. The question:

What experiences are you looking for?

Usually opens up a new channel of wisdom.

Report back! X

@ThatDirection

Thanks for the lovely feedback. Happy to help!

Inspire the future is an excellent org to volunteer with. They find people to speak or run workshops at schools on a voluntary basis. You can sign up at their website.

My book is called Your Life Plan. Other good books are The work you were born to do by nick thingy and what colour is your parachute by richard bolles. And anything by Barbara sher. Camilla Arnold’s books on career change are good too!

Check out the icould.com website. Lots of stories from people with interesting jobs. There was another website like this for women- I need to look it up and will get back to you.

If you are good at advising on jobs why not consider career coaching? It’s a growing sector and very fulfilling- and you can work in house or externally.

I don’t know much about IT or most sectors actually but here’s what I wouldn’t recommend. As above pp , think about what experiences you want - you made sacrifices to give your children’s stsbility and now it is your chance to honour your dreams.when you do what really ignites you, you can make a contribution to the world and be really happy, I promise! So all you need to do is decide A how do I want to contribute? Where do I do my best work? Who would I like to serve? Then see what companies or sectors match your aspiration and contact them directly - don’t wait for the role- constrict and design it. You will kiss a few frogs on the way, but tenacity will usually win out.

Enjoy the book- pls do honestly review... warts and all!

Does that help?

Report back!

Thank you. Luckily I can live comfortably on 0.5 of my salary, so won't really need to make many cutbacks. Your advice about taking time to reflect on wanted experiences is incredibly helpful in terms of giving me permission to take my time, not have all the answers immediately and, indeed, listen to my inner child.

I feel so burnt out, so lacking in motivation for even the smallest of things and this makes me feel a bit weepy.

@Luc1nda take your time and be gentle.

Good advice I once received - consider - what I’d this challenge/obstacle/shorty situation was FOR you? As in, if this was trying to teach you something or is it hate a real change, what would the message be from the pain/discomfort/sadness to you?

Ps I find this very helpful in my own life. Eg when baby Angliski was two weeks old I got a call at 5am from my tenants to say the ceiling had fallen in. No warning of problems etc. Thank god no one was killed but it was close. After I got over the shock we found the source of the problem and fixed it at massive expense but if we hand t found it then, down the line it may have been really risky. So I consider this incident to be FOR me. Make sense? It really helps with bad situations because resisting the situation just doesn’t help you. I am currently trying to apply it to the heartbreaking news that my beyond amazing, clever, superb, gentle and loving and precious and hilarious cat likelyhas cancer :( doesn’t make the situation any better but will help
Me to find ways to really care for and connect with him and remember how precious our moments are.

It's a great thinking strategy, thank you. I'm sorry to hear that you're having to apply it to such a sad time though

@Angliski I've been thinking about your prompt, what kinds of experiences are you looking for in your life and work? What experiences light you up?

I have already decided that what I really, really need is a bit of a "full stop" a few weeks' break from doing anything new. I can't take too much time off but I will reduce my volunteering commitments. I also hope to take a long weekend somewhere in the middle of nowhere to reconnect with myself and say hello to my next chapter.

Then what kinds of experiences am I looking for? Leading/teaching groups of adults, especially around well-being. Doing manual work outside to support wildlife. I really want to be with people in a very close, authentic way (I have spent too long working on my own in lonely, senior roles).

Luc1nda - I feel exactly the same about really really needing a "full stop", nothing new, volunteering down to minimum, a bit of cloud watching in the middle of nowhere. Currently spending more time researching weekends away than career opportunities!

I love this thread, it's genuinely helping me keep it together!

a bit of cloud watching in the middle of nowhere. Yes :)

Currently spending more time researching weekends away than career opportunities! Oh yes, that too :)

Blimey, may be this is the answer, set up a hideaway for those clutching a P45 who are burnt out, broken, bored and befuddled. Swap the clock watching for cloud watching on a long weekend of well being and wildlife and working out what comes next.

I'm googling now...

If you build it... they will come!

(And so will Angliski and Angliski junior if someone else does the organising and the food is excellent. And there’s hedgehogs)

I read that you should avoid a career change in your 30s as it would be considered career suicide, do you feel that's the case? I've worked at my company for 10 years and have gotten to a comfortable position but don't feel there is anywhere I can go now and don't fancy doing the same job until I retire (which is generally the case for the people at my work). I would like to work freelance, possibly in copywriting as I have a degree in English and a postgrad in journalism but I can't decide if I should continue doing my day job (set hours, a pension) or attempt to forge a freelance career. My current job is extremely niche and should I be made redundant (who knows in this climate??) I would have nowhere to go.

I'm 47, currently studying part time with OU for a BA Geography , due to Lockdown my self employment has dried up and as it's dependant on the travel industry it's unlikely to revive for a while .
I started studying because I was bored and felt I needed to stretch my brain , I'm enjoying it although tricky at the moment with everyone home 24/7 ..
I feel under a bit of self pressure 'to do something with my life' even at my age !!
Am I too old to use this degree (if I get one) to go into teaching ? (This has always been a niggly idea throughout life but family/life delayed everything ) if I went full time student I'd be 51 by the time I qualified as a teacher

Are you able to give some advice to an unemployed, very nearly 60 year old? My career path so far:
Ages 18 - 19: worked as a HCA in hospital
19 - 28: Secretary/PA
28 - 31: Uni for degree in Plant Biochemistry
31 - 35: PhD Plant Biochemistry
35 - 43: R&D in industry. Made redundant
44 -57: Teaching assistant working with teenagers with
SEN. Left to do PGCE but dropped out after 1 term
because of severe depression when my dad died.
58 -: Private maths tutor. Part time support worker for

for young man with cerebral palsy.

I really need a full time job. I don't want to be a classroom teacher and bitterly regret not going into nursing/allied health profession when I was younger. I'm looking at care type jobs but they seem such a waste of my skills (as well as being dreadfully paid).

I really don't know which way to turn.

Just place marking. Am about to lose my job after 23 years and feeling lost!