Going back this week and have been dreading it, but I can't take anymore time off

[UCM]

Been in tears this morning. Very unlike me, I feel awful and like I have a big football stuck in my guts.

It's bollocks and I am not coping at all. Just needed to rant as DH took the day off and I think he thinks I have gone a bit mad.

Did you enjoy the job when you were last doing it? Do you think it is just anticipation? I felt similar when I went back to work (unexpectedly) after having ds. But once I got back in front of the class I was fine. Just had to do it. Or is there more to it than that for you?

Awww UCM

I have been back part time since April, and started full time today.

How old is your youngest?

(I am at work now and can MN in the safety of the office, with no 1 year old trying to turn the computer off )

I think you definitely need to get that football out.

Oh poor poor you UCM. I felt just the same before I went back and the first week was incredibly hard but its amazing how quickly you can settle back into it. And yes, you can MN in the office! Remember that for most things in life anticipation is always worse than the event. Good luck

I spent my first morning back in tears. The first few months were difficult howvever 18 months down the line and I love when I ahve a day off and dd is in nursery, total bliss. You are not mad honestly, your just like the rest of us.

Part of it can be that you've been out of the loop, work wise and socially.
Enjoy being able to have a quiet cup of tea and browse shops in your lunch hour. Invite some of the gals to lunch and catch up on all the gossip. Buy your little one a little something (so you don't feel quite so guilty)
But you are guilty of being a loving mum and this proves it so you are not a bad mum but the opposite.
(There's logic in there somewhere!)

Thanks for the replies. I have no choice but to go unfortunately and there is a blimmin strike tomorrow as well - Oh What Joy!

I went to have my nails done today and my poor eyes were smarting from the chemicals they use and the muzak was 'Music to die by'....you know the sort, 20 sad songs. Twas awful.

I keep looking at DD who is literally just about to crawl and I just know she will do it in my first week back - at my CM's

It will be fine, I am strong,

I don't know if anyone remembers the time I was suspended from my job because of a dodgy email. I won't even be able to MN. I am frightened to do anything remotely like that now, although I can browse as a guest and all that. Our IT dept. are very very hot on how much time is spent browsing sites etc.

Oh bugger, it's gone midnight and I have to go to sleep now.

Deep breaths.

Oh - missed this earlier.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Please let us know how it went tomorrow night

It'll be fine. Doncha find when you dread something it's never that bad and when you look forward to something it's never that good? Honestly, the day will fly and you'll be back home with your lo
Good luck!

I went back yesterday and as I am on a training course, am not actually back in my office as yet. That's next Monday.

But it was fine. It's like bloody groundhog day.

I think the upset was because it was the end of an era. My last mat leave and my last time at home with the kids. Of course I have lots of annual leave and as I work shifts lots of days in the week off etc so I wont be not seeing them exactly.

I think this Govt or the next should pay us at what we earned for 2 years at least though.

Once I am back in the nice male dominated environment that I sadly occupy, I will be back to the 'So you having any more to get another year off then' Jokes, which not really jokes blah blah blah. And the 'Well you wouldn't know because you haven't been here since 1970 type of thing. I will be fine. I shall learn to be more hard & vile than ever

Thank you again, it's nice to know that I have support on here