Anyone else preparing themselves to go back to a job they hate?!

[NewYearNewJobNewHome]

I'm going back to work today. Worked one day so far since Christmas but was a short day and wasn't too bad, but back today and tomorrow usual hours.

Anyone else preparing themselves for it?

My aim for January/February is to find a new job and hand in my notice ASAP (which I can't see going down well!). Until then I just need to keep my head down and get the place organised for when I leave. Think I'll spend the next few weeks going through everything, stock and paperwork etc, so if it ends badly and I leave without working my notice someone else can just pick it up straight away.

I absolutely hate my job. It's a company that likes to think it's a 'family' but in reality it's toxic and dysfunctional. Blame culture, goal posts keep changing, rude aggressive colleagues, favouritsm.

I've stuck it out for a year as it was my first job back after a long period as SAHM. But I am absolutely desperate to leave now. Have been applying for jobs, have an interview tomorrow but am going to be so nervous because I'm so desperate to leave I'm sure I'll completely mess up the interview.

Going to spend this afternoon preparing.

And each job application takes so much time and effort, and because I'm restricted to local part time jobs it's even harder although the way I'm feeling I think I might have to consider full time just to be able to get out.

I'm a bit pissed off with my union today.

On the one hand they are good in that they are supporting me to go to a tribunal and I really couldn't afford to do it on my own or have the strength to do so either.

On the other hand, the f/t rep is working on my appeal which is due in today and whilst it is worded much better than I could word it and he knows all the legal terminology, I do feel that they are using me as a case that they can show off (if they win) rather than doing it for me, if that makes sense?

The appeal letter he's drawn up talks about one thing that happened that didn't actually happen to me (but I witnessed it). So I'm trying to get them to focus more on me and remember this is about me and not about the union trying to make some kind of point.

So whilst they have been great at terms in terms of supporting me, I do wonder about their reasons for doing so. They are a bit hit and miss at times. I don't know if I'm worrying unnecessarily as I don't work for a union and although I'm interested in employment law, I'm not a lawyer. They know more than I do so maybe I should shut up and let them do their thing iykwim?

I'm worried that the main issues of concern to me are not coming across in the grievance appeal letter but maybe I will get the chance to voice them in the appeal meeting.

I don't know if I'm being used....

Dont you find though, it's the thought and once back in it, not so bad?

My first day back was not too bad. But I know I don't want to do it anymore, I feel properly down that I am going to be working until I drop. There is zilch appreciation going on. I am never going to get promoted. I am too old to move on, the pay is too good, and the reality is my lot is a mundane one. Even if I did find another job, it's still 35-40hours a week of pointless work. Exchanging one mindless job for another one. I am sick of sitting at a desk typing meaningless shite. It's the face you have to put on, the contortion of personality to try and fit in that really pisses me off, the fucking time whizzing by because you are wishing Friday was here. I get the sinking back to work feeling on Saturday nights now, not even waiting until Sunday.

I sound pathetic. I'm not, I self improve at work and in my personal life. But work to me now has absolutely no attraction. I know most people feel like that, but it's new to me.

I have decided that If we face job cuts I am not going to try and be irreplaceable like we all did before, I am going to let fate decide. My New Years resolution is not to try and impress, I am enough, and if nobody else thinks so that is their business. I'm done.

@dimsum123 good luck for your interview tomorrow! Do you feel prepared? Please come back and let us know how it went 

@strictlymomdancing that's disappointing.. Can you speak to them and voice your concerns? I know someone who put a grievance and appeal in at work and the reason it was thrown out was because the things that happened in the workplace hadn't happened directly to them. I'd be worried this comes across in your appeal, that you weren't directly affected?

@Hepsibar I find that every night I dread going in, then when I'm there it's not too bad, then that same night comes the feeling of dread. Life's too short to feel like that every evening before work.

@Sarcelle letting fate decide is a good idea I think! Do you know if they'll be making cuts? Sometimes the biggest changes in my life have happened when I'm not trying to change anything and not expecting anything new to come along.

I've seen a job tonight on Indeed which must have only just been posted (I check a couple of times a day!).
I'd really like it but it's 'one click apply' so I know they'll get loads of applicants. I'm going to sit and write a tailored cover letter in the hope it helps me stand out 🤞🏻

No, but it's local government which has had a lot of cuts already, and no doubt more to come....

Yes, I am tired trying to control things. What will be will be.

@NewYearNewJobNewHome yes that's exactly one of the reasons that part of my grievance wasn't upheld. Funny that. Seems employers HR and legal teams use the same 'get out' excuses.

Fortunately, my union took my concerns on board and they re-did my appeal letter and it is now a shit hot appeal letter. They are back in my good books now.

I really don't want to go back there. I'd love a bloody good exit package but I'm also scared any settlement money will run out before I find something new. I have no savings and I'm disabled so chances of finding something new are fewer than for non disabled persons.

Saw a job online today but 2 hour commute each way. Why are all the good jobs on the other side of the fecking country

Hope Dimsum's interview went well.
I am struggling to find jobs to even apply for. I only do accounts, christ it shouldn't be this hard! I spent hours yesterday and found 1. Hours today. Nothing.
I feel miserable. Quite tearful really. What a mess. I had a job I loved for 8 years. Now look at me?!

aw @oblomov20 I know that feeling. I can't seem to find anything either. But I'm trying to reasssure myself by saying it is just the first week of the new year and it should pick up soon.

Update. IV went really badly. I was so nervous, mouth went completely dry. Horrible open ended questions which stupidly I hadn't prepared for as all IVs I've had have been much more structured, going through my CV etc.

Also just didn't feel I was a good fit for the organisation even though the interviewer was nice.

They had 100 applications apparently and tbh am surprised I even got an IV as looking back over my application form it was not very good.

Only positive is that I will now go and prepare answers to these horrible open ended questions.

The one positive in my favour which they seemed very happy with was that the job is walking distance from my house! But there are probably other candidates who live close by. Am sure every mum in the vicinity has applied as it's part time.

NewYearNewJobNewHome, thanks for mentioning doing a tailored cover letter for those 1 click job ads, I just say something like please find my CV in respect of X role and that's it really.

Perhaps we could use this thread for tips for how to do a really good job application.

@Oblomov20 so sorry you're feeling miserable. So am I. The whole job hunting process is such a nightmare these days, so many applicants for each job and like you say certain jobs so few and far between.

Like most mums I'm looking for part time local which narrows things down a lot but I've got no choice at the moment. However I'm so desperate to leave my current place that I'm going to start applying for full time jobs as well. Am thinking if it's local and not too long a day it could be ok.

So depressed.

Understand how you feel Sarcelle as I'm stuck in a kind of tragi-comic golden handcuffs situation where the pay is really good and I have lots of flexibility but the work feels totally pointless. I nevertheless have to paint my 'game face' and keep smiling on as it's seen as Very Bad Indeed to complain or hint that you dislike any aspect of your job. We are constantly told that 'everyone' in our industry wants to work here so we are very fortunate.

My return has been bearable as I've booked time off this month and next so I have that to look forward to. I've also set aside at least an hour a day to do online training (the company provides a lot for free) in a particular area I'd like to move into.

HR have been in touch, essentially putting pressure on me to come back to work and have a return to work meeting, now that my grievance has been 'resolved'.
I'm still signed off sick (until end of Jan at least), I have a grievance appeal that hasn't been heard, I have a tribunal upcoming so I don't think things have been resolved.
I have also found out that my line manager has been accessing my emails and answering my emails as though she is me. Who knows what else she has seen in my emails?
No doubt they will say that as an employer they have the right to access my emails but why did it have to be my manager and why is she pretending to be me? Why can't IT department cover my emails?
I'm really upset and angry again. I want out of this place. How can they expect me to go back to work and face this woman and keep myself from punching her in the face? (I wont but I really want to!)
Anyone got any thoughts? My union have raised this latest issue but caution me that there may be little I can do as the company will argue they are allowed to access my emails.

Well I am siiiiiick today!

Just reading through the most recent posts, will try and catch up with you all 

@strictlymomdancing I'm really sorry you're having to go through all of this 😕 can you explain to them that your grievance hasn't been resolved' as if you've raised an appeal therefore won't be returning yet? I have no idea how it works re your emails - I guess they're within their rights to access them so they can keep everything running in your absence. But I also wouldn't be happy with your manager replying to them as if she's you, I don't think that's appropriate. Let us know what the Union come back with in relation to that.

@dimsum123 I'm sorry that you don't feel like your interview went well - I've been there so can sympathise! Please just take a couple of things from it through.
Firstly, they were obviously impressed enough to call you in for interview in the first place, many applicants won't have even been given the opportunity. Secondly, you can now get more prepared for any further interviews you're offered regarding the questions that may be asked.
One thing that's helped me is to google the top 50 interview questions, get a notebook and go through each question and write myself an answer. I occasionally have a flick through and add things and it's great to look at when I have an interview upcoming.
Also google STAR - situation/task/action/result. Many employers look for 'give us an example of...' questions to be answered following those points, so it's a good way to get them to put ticks in your boxes 
Yes tailored cover letters also help you stand out (I'll be honest and say I don't do one for every 'easy apply' job I apply for, just the ones I really like the sound of and am worried that my CV will just get lost within lots of others).

@Eastie77 I also seem to get that from my employers - they'll never understand why X employee went to work for a different company because 'it's so flexible here/the pay is reasonable/nowhere else could be better' (delete as appropriate ). The reality is the pay is shit, flexibility depends on what suits the family and there's loads of other places could be better to work for.

@NewYearNewJobNewHome, sorry you're not feeling great, but if it means time off work that's not bad?

Not much time right now but thank you so much for the interview tips. Feel such an idiot now, I just turned up at the interview with barely any prep having only thought about a couple of questions they might ask mainly about why I was applying for the job.

Am going to set aside the whole of Saturday to prepare for IVs. I've got another one next week, so I seem to be getting my applications right which is also a surprise as when I look back over them they could have been so much better.

The disastrous interview did give me some ideas on improving my CV too so I guess I need to just chalk it down to experience.

Will pop back to this thread later.

@dimsum123 my apologies, I wasn't clear! I meant sick of being at work, not poorly (unfortunately! A day off would have been lovely )

@NewYearNewJobNewHome, well even if you're sick of being at work, you're still technically sick and if you're not feeling well you should go home....

My week has been ok but I'm not getting lulled into a false sense of security and start thinking my job's not so bad after all which is what's been happening for months.

Am waiting to hear whether I've been shortlisted for 2 applications I've made which is just as bad as waiting to hear after an IV.

Going to work on my CV at the weekend, it can definitely be improved quite a bit and also I looked up STAR and loads of IV questions and am going to prepare answers.

Thanks so much for mentioning that, will mean I'm far better prepared for future IVs, hopefully they won't be a car crash like the one I just had. Luckily I wasn't overly keen on the job anyway so am not too bothered.

applied for another job today. Bit nervous. Not sure I'll get it as I applied for a very similar job in that workplace (university) and was not successful. They finally gave me feedback though and they say I didn't have enough experience in HE. I don't know what to do about that TBH as I've never worked in HE before so not sure if I'll be any more successful this time but I have nothing to lose and I really want to get out of this current place. If anyone has any ideas as to how to get into a non academic HE role with no prior HE experience, that would be pretty helpful! Interviews would be end of this month.

@strictlymomdancing, that's great you've applied for a job. I'm finding it quite empowering to apply for jobs, and realising I do actually have a lot of good skills and experience.

Re HE it's the old chicken and egg. I would say Google/research working in HE setting to get a feel for/insight into the particular issues/skills needed for working in that setting as opposed to an office in a typical business even though the roles might be similar.

A week in and already feel stressed. Had 2 days of feeling a bit positive and now a slump. I work with a load of rude bastards with all the personality of speak your weight machines. Some of their behaviour is downright bizarre. A new manager started last week. She was very bubbly and smiley. This week she looks thoroughly fed up and bemused. I have been having strange aches in the run up to going back to work. Tonight they got worse and I have a dragging pain down my arms, and I can only lie on one side. Except I can't sleep so I have got up again. I am sure it is stress.

Just a small lottery win will do.

I had to do this after Xmas and it was making me ill. In the end my DH said resign and we will manage.

@dimsum123 this happens to me too! I'll have one week which isn't too bad and then I start thinking 'maybe my job is ok after all, why am I rushing to find something else?' Then a couple of bad days happen and I just think 'nooo get me out of here!'
You're welcome, if any of it helped then I'm glad  hopefully something will come up that you really do want and you'll feel much more prepared going into the interview.

@strictlymomdancing I'm sorry I have no advice at all, have never worked in a HE environment and NO idea what the interview will consist of. Could you look on the website and see if there are any policies on there you can clue yourself up on?

@Sarcelle I'm really sorry to hear that, have the last couple of days been any better? I was off yesterday and it always helps to break my week up, I'd really struggle with 5 straight days how I feel now.

@Pixiedust74 it's awful isn't it! I'm not in a position to do that right now unfortunately, have literally just bought a house and need two wages towards the work that needs doing.

I've seen my recruitment lady again this week who has 3 vacancies she wants to put me forward for! Really like the sound of two of them but wouldn't say no to the third either so will get those applied for when I see her next week. I've got everything crossed 🤞🏻

Yes I'm looking on their website for information. I did that last time I interviewed for them and they had a list of common questions they asked - none of which were actually asked though

This role is in the student well being service. Most of my qualifications and experience are relevant however there is one qualification I don't have that I worry they will want. The advert didn't specify it was needed but other universities have asked for it. I guess I can only try. Also I don't have much experience with mental health although I do have experience with other disabilities.

So again, I'm worrying about what I would say if they asked me questions like "what do you know about mental health at university" or "what would you do if someone disclosed abuse / self harm / suicidal thoughts". I don't have any examples. I would have to say what I would do if it would happen, but what if they want past examples.

I do have personal experience of mental illness but I wouldn't want to bring that up.

I worry too much

Dear oh dear you lot. Reading your posts makes me cringe with sadness.

I quit my job last Friday. We agreed for me too leave immediately! 😮

I applied for 8 jobs over the weekend. All too far away. I've been for one interview since. They want me, I think it's too far, and not the job for me. But maybe. We'll see. It's for somebody very famous!

I want another other job, I applied for, that is also too far away, full time, which I don't want, but the job is a dream. I'm told I'm the strongest candidate, (being put forward by an agency bloke I've dealt with before and really like), and I know that's true. We'll see.