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Original poster

Grievance meeting

16 replies

Myal · 30/11/2019 22:30

Hi all,
Newbie here but stressed....
I've raised a grieviance at work and it's currently being investigated.
I've been on sick leave due to work related stress and depression since July which are the reasons I have raised the grievance.

However, whilst I am prepared to fight, I cant seem to find the confidence to attend the meeting, I feel sick with nerves.

Can anyone advise what the alternatives could be? And if I am not required to attend, could it have a detrimental effect on the decision?

Please help!

OP posts:
Aridane · 30/11/2019 22:32

Can someone go with you?

holly40 · 30/11/2019 22:34

If you go, you should take someone with you to advocate for you - or at least to witness the content of the meeting.

Onesnowballshort · 30/11/2019 22:37

Who is hearing the grievance, is it someone involved in your stressful situation? I take it you are not in a union or your rep would be the person you'd take. I've been in one and if I hadn't been there to speak for myself I doubt I would have won.

Original poster
Myal · 30/11/2019 22:38

Yes, I can take a union rep who isn't the best and tends to just stay quiet. I haven't had the best advice from them.

I can take a work colleague but everyone is petrified of the person(s) I have complained about so I don't want to put them in the position by asking.

I think my fear is not feeling confident and messing up what I want them to know. I feel like I have marbles in my mouth or won't be able to think clearly in the moment.

Is it compulsory to attend? Can it nit all be done via email? I am having to respond to their responses ahead of the meeting anyway and can't think what I can add to this during the meeting anyway.

I have autoimmune conditions where the symptoms are made worse by stress and I'm broken already....

OP posts:
Original poster
Myal · 30/11/2019 22:46

It is an independent department but same organisation.
I've experienced bullying, harassment, breach of contract and confidentiality, sex and maternity discrimination and employers have failed to make reasonable adjustments under equality act.

The investigation team have already made a mistake by sending the entire grievance to the person who's been bullying me which included my personal address.

OP posts:
Aridane · 01/12/2019 00:15

You will need to attend, sorry - but your companion can speak for,you

See ACAS advice below

beta.acas.org.uk/grievance-procedure-step-by-step/step-4-the-grievance-meeting

NorthEndGal · 01/12/2019 00:59

Cor sure use the union rep, but review with then first so they know exactly what you need made clear

DailyApple · 01/12/2019 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

daisychain01 · 01/12/2019 08:26

@Myal if I were you, I would stick to the letter of your grievance. If you wrote that grievance yourself and have lived through the experiences you will find the words to talk through it.

Don't allow them to derail your grievance, or put words in your mouth. You own that meeting, it's in place for you to have your say. Remember they are on the back foot because you will be, politely and assertively, telling them how they have failed you as your employer.

It's good to have your Union Rep there, but they are only symbolic of a "person on your side" so it's less imbalanced in the meeting and not too much "them against you". In honesty, your Rep doesn't have to say too much, you can do the talking. Prep them in advance to flag to you in the meeting if they notice your employer is not working correctly to protocol.

Give yourself permission to feel nervous, that's totally understandable.

Remember to breathe deeply and steadily and don't feel like you have to fill every moment with speech. In fact it's often a mark of someone being in control if you let them ask a question and you deliberately pause, breathe quietly and don't answer straight away. All in your own good time. Pause and think. They mustn't rush you, or say something contentious to get a reaction. If they say something that contradicts with the facts you have given in your grievance document, flag it as a concern "no, that isn't correct, please look at page x of my document where it states xxx". Keep it factual.

Onesnowballshort · 01/12/2019 09:46

I'm a union rep and for what you are describing I wouldn't attend, it would be passed higher up the chain so to speak - so it would be a union employee who would attend. If it's just an informal meeting to try to resolve, then I would go.
If there is discrimination involved you are talking about an eventual tribunal so this all needs to be handled through a union. I know the person in my union who would do it would talk more or less depending on what I wanted. So explain how it makes you feel. But you need to go.

Original poster
Myal · 01/12/2019 10:22

Thank you so much. You're right in every sense and I need to reach deep down and push one last time to find my brave self.
🙏

OP posts:
TheWitchwithNoName · 06/12/2019 06:21

Hi did you get on Myal?

Original poster
Myal · 06/12/2019 08:49

The meeting isn't until week after next so just preparing for it

OP posts:
Letstalkabout6 · 13/12/2019 18:20

@Myal how did your meeting go?

Original poster
Myal · 13/12/2019 18:55

It's on the 18th @letstalkabout6
Prepped as much a possible but because I asked a solicitor for help I've lost my union rep so trying to find someone to accompany me...gulp

OP posts:
Letstalkabout6 · 25/12/2019 21:52

@Myal how did it go?

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