Help: lonely working at home and quiet office

[Willarosie]

Hi,
I don’t know what to do.
I have a great job: great pay, work 9-3 and get paid for 30hours, great boss, 9 weeks hols a year, can work from home. But... I work alone a lot. It’s lonely and sometimes soul destroying.
I am looking for another job. But pay isn’t as good, same hours but more working weeks... only get five weeks hol a year plus bank hol but would lose approx £150 a month in pay, less flexible working, can’t work from home but would have progression opportunities and company/office banter all day, Christmas parties, charity fun days etc. What would you do?

Can you look at shared workspaces? Not sure how much they are to use but they do exist. Co working spaces I think they are known as. So essentially working from home but physically located in a big shared office with others who want the same as you.

Thank you for the suggestion. There is an office with the job I do, but there is rarely anyone there. Plus as it isn’t my business itself, I would need to pay out of my own pocket to use the shared office space. My days are just so lonely, but then I don’t want to give up 9 weeks hols a year and such a flexible working environment. It’s so difficult. Just would like some company. No one seems to understand when they would love my way of working but then can’t relate as they work in a bustling office with work friends.

I did take a pay cut to work somewhere more fun. I actually got a huge amount out of it in terms of career progression, so in the long term it was worth it. I really did love working there.

The funny thing is I now work from home, usually alone all day, and I love it.

I understand exactly what you mean. My last job was a similar situation, compounded by the fact that my lazy manager couldn't be bothered keeping in touch with me. Our office was often very quiet and empty and none of my team were based there very much.

To start with I loved being at home all the time - great flexible hours, lots of time off etc etc, very much the same as you describe. After 2 or 3 yrs I realised this was affecting my MH as it was so isolating - I am very extroverted so I suit being around people much more than working in isolation.

I changed jobs to one which is much more inconvenient on paper - I now have a long commute 3 days a week (plus 2 days WFH) and even though my leave allowance is the same I'm now working FT (was 30 hrs) and losing all the peripheral time I had free to do "life" stuff. Luckily it was a promotion so came with a pay rise. However I love going in to the office because it's full of people, and I've learned how important that is to my wellbeing.

I think it depends on who you are as much as anything - a couple of people in my team thought the previous arrangements were great and couldn't understand why I kept trying to get the team to meet up regularly. It didn't suit me though.

May be a daft idea depending on what you actually do, but could you work in a coffee shop sometimes? I get the isolation thing but I'm a natural hermit so it mostly doesn't bother me

Yes I get it. I took a pay cut to move from a home based 30 hrs a week job to full time in the office.

I assume the benefit of 9-3 and long holidays is that you have dc? If so what age?

I needed the flexibility of my old job as I was a lone parent of a young child. It was a lifesaver and meant I could be at every school assembly, do emergency pick ups etc but it was seriously boring and isolating.

I moved when dd was in y9 and probably could have done it a year or two earlier.

If your dc are primary age and you don't have much family support I'd probably put up with it short term but otherwise I'd go for the move.

The trouble is, you can’t guarantee that you’d end up in a “fun” office environment.

You see it all the time on here - office cliques, bitchy colleagues, “fun charity days” that require you to fork out £££ throughout the year. What if everyone works with headphones on so you end up feeling isolated again?

I have a colleague that will not shut up the entire working day. If you politely ask her to stop so you can get some work done she spirals and turns it into everyone “hating her”. It’s exhausting. Organising any team days or Christmas meals is a fucking nightmare as she will piss all over any ideas until it’s too late to book anything good... and then inevitably will drop out of whatever last minute thing was organise anyway! It’s not something you could get a feel for in the interview.

I’m not saying every office is like it but I think you have a very rise-tinted view of what office life is like.

I couldn’t do that, I work the same hours as you (over 4 days, with even more holiday entitlement) vut would go absolutely crazy without my colleagues. I get what a PP said about office politics, I have had shit environments in the past, but I think the positive outweighs the negative. I would totally look at changing jobs. I personally would not give up my holiday, but I would have not hesitation in working more hours weekly.