Second child or concentrate on promotion

[Rosebank33]

Hi.

My husband and I are currently trying to conceive our second child. My other child is just turning 4. I came off contraception in July and have been trying since. I am not yet pregnant. I am almost 36 and my husband is 37.

I have been approached in work to undertake a new role for a temporary period of 2 years, it’s more responsibilities and increase in pay (not sure how much, could be very little)

Now they have said they won’t discriminate and if I did fall pregnant it will be fine but not ideal and want me to think about the duration of the job.

What do I do?? My husband thinks I should go for it and we should delay trying but I really want to have another child and not leave it too late because of my age. On the other hand, I don’t want to turn this opportunity down if it helps my career.

Any advice is welcomed.

Why not do both?

I'd do both, go for the promotion and keep TTC. Obviously it wouldn't be ideal if you did get pregnant now as you'd only be in the job for 9 months or so, but they've explicitly said that would be fine (and indeed legally they can't say anything else!).

With the vagueries of how long it can take to conceive etc. I really think you'd be unwise to put your life on hold, it's stressful enough TTC as it is without the added pressure of having given up a really good opportunity to do so, and equally I think you'd regret it if you stopped trying just for a job which ultimately isn't as important as your family.

Sounds like both is the best option

If you really wanted a second child right now this wouldn’t be a dilemma.

At 36 I wouldn’t wait 2 years to try again.

Go for it - I didn’t go for a two year secondment as was ttc - got pregnant and had a mmc then waited to try again so the job would have been done by then! Don’t let anything hold you back!