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Original poster

Another “complaint” has been raised. WWYD

68 replies

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 20:41

There is a women at work (we have bothe been with the company same amount of time, same role. but, last year I moved into her dept.

I’ve never had a complaint raised about me or my performance and I’ve worked here for 5+ years, great reviews and feedback etc.

Within a month or two she raised an anonymous complaint she had recieved and sent it directly to the HR director.

This was a non issue and dismissed by the HRD, senior management team, we all moved on. Said lady went on mat leave and I worked on my relations with the team.

Over time I had people tell me she had encourage the anon complaint to be made for her to pass on above our line manager. I ignored this, I don’t do gossip but it stuck in my head.

She returned a few weeks ago , I’ve sort of Grey rocked her. I then receive an email on Friday titled complaint asking for us to meet tomorrow morning to discuss it.

It’s a here we go again but I need to find a way to handle it.

I know 100% I’ve done nothing to warrant a complaint again and even if I had, we have reporting lines for these things to be addressed through.

I can’t pretend it’s not been on my mind all weekend which I feel the intention was in the first place.

I am looking for a new job which is a shame as, apart from this woman I love my job but it’s a role where I need to work with her to an extent.

OP posts:
jelly79 · 03/11/2019 20:44

Hmmm if this is unfounded again. Can you put in a grievance for harassment? Surely she can't just put in unfounded complaints with no consequence?

Quartz2208 · 03/11/2019 20:47

DId she make the anon complaint or is it gossip that she did/encouraged people to do so because is the complaint about the fact that you are "grey rocking" her having listening to gossip (because you didnt ignore it) causing your working relationship to be untenable?

TimeforanotherChange · 03/11/2019 20:49

Is this email from her? I would ignore her, forward it to my line manager with a note saying you would like it noted that you are feeling targeted by this woman as she has done this in the past. Ask for someone to have a word with her about appropriate professional behaviour.

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 20:53

It is gossip from 2 separate people saying the same thing.

I’m grey rocking since she returned from mat leave. I doubt she is even noticing, we both have our own office etc we aren’t part of a team. I just consciously decided, after what I was told via gossip last time to keep my distance.

I thought it was working welll but, no this again.

It’s a toxic environment

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 20:56

Time that’s very good advice which I wish I had thought of. I replied saying something like “10am worries for me have a great weekend”

I’m so crap at all of this, it’s all so underhanded and doesn’t need to be this hard. I’m really trying to find a new job even though I don’t want to leave.

OP posts:
Fuckenstein · 03/11/2019 21:02

Who was the email from?

Was there any truth in the previous email and could there be any in the current complaint?

Any chance you can move back to the old dept, seems she may see you as a threat.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/11/2019 21:05

I wouldn't back down on this on. It sounds like she's a shit stirrer who has chosen you to take her madness out on. Fuck that. I would challenge this.

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 21:12

Fucken she emailed me directly on Friday morning knowing I was off but able to read and rely to emails, she isn’t my line manager at all. No truth in the first complaintit was a rubbish “he said she said” complaint that was sent back to my line manager to sort out. I can’t think of anything anyone could complain about.

Wish I could return but redundancy brought me here and I’m enjoying it apart from this woman.

Aqua I have never had this before. I’m 50/50 part of me wants to back down and eat here run with it and the other part wants to know how to deal with it.

If I. Lisette to gossip, she is very much seen as top dog before senior management level, no one questions her etc

OP posts:
PrettyPurse · 03/11/2019 21:15

If she is the same level as you and not your line manager, what authority has she to be asking to meet with you to discuss a complaint.

slipperywhensparticus · 03/11/2019 21:16

What is she asking to discuss with you?

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 21:22

She apparently wants to discuss the complaint with me.

She reports directly to the director and I report to the senior manager (who reports to the director)

I called my line manager and he had no idea what it’s about, she hadn’t consulted him before sending the email and the Director hadn’t spoken to him about me, this would be normal cause of action if needed

She has taken it off her own back to email me directly

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 03/11/2019 21:30

Surely answer 'on consideration, it would be inappropriate to go outside work protocols in place to deal with such issues'.

BlankTimes · 03/11/2019 21:30

Make sure your line manager attends with you. you need a witness to whatever she's going to say to you.
At the very least "accidentally" record her on your phone.

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 21:31

It feels personal
I’m trying not to take it that way though

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 03/11/2019 21:32

^^

As in 'I will not meet with you to discuss this as it would be inappropriate, and outside company procedures and protocols'.

AlexaAmbidextra · 03/11/2019 21:36

I wouldn’t even respond to her. If I were you I’d go direct to my line manager.

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 21:39

pickle I wish I could but I know I will end up attending tomorrow and see what comes from it.

I will make notes as soon as I leave the meeting though and I will question why I’m directly speaking with her and not my LM

OP posts:
Apolloanddaphne · 03/11/2019 21:41

Can you refuse to meet with her tomorrow saying you have had time to consider things over the weekend and feel that she needs to follow correct protocol for any complaints and let her go speak to the director of HR or whoever? Sounds like she is trying to intimidate you.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/11/2019 21:42

Do NOT even consider meeting with her without your manager there. That would be a massive mistake as she could then say all sorts of rubbish about what your response/attitude was.

Original poster
CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 03/11/2019 21:42

Thing is, we have a big thing on tomorrow and I can’t deflect from that at all. I can’t be all drama in the morning I need to let things run smoothly and if that includes adding this person to my list then I have to do it.

Or I could ignore her and deal with it from there?

OP posts:
Jayaywhynot · 03/11/2019 21:44

Let us know what happens

Bluntness100 · 03/11/2019 21:45

You need to take your manager in with you or hr. don't go in alone. If this is a vendetta then you're never going to come out better. Take someone in.

She's basically a level above you from what I can tell and more senior, and at the same level as your manager?

Apolloanddaphne · 03/11/2019 21:46

If you have a big thing going on then you can swing past the meeting place and tell her you are too busy and she needs to sort out whatever issue she has through the correct channels then waltz off again?

cabbageking · 03/11/2019 21:51

I would ask for a copy of the complaints policy

I would make notes in the meeting not after, to slow down the process and get the information on paper immediately. You can also ask her to repeat any response or phrase as you go.

NChangeForNoReason · 03/11/2019 21:53

Take ur line manager with u on the basis you wish them to keep minutes. Do not got into the meeting alone else u lend itself to another he said she said saga