Has anyone lost their job due to a misunderstanding and got it back?

[Pochemuchka55]

I won't outline events. I want to know if genuine misunderstandings (when no-one is in the wrong) can be mended after contact is terminated.

Asking a manager “do you think I should quit?” is behind ridiculous. You need to to understand how inappropriate it actually was before entering the workplace again.
How did your parents manage when you were at uni, btw?

Hang on, you were only there 3 months?!
This is fucking ridiculous.
"people saw me shaking with tears"...what exactly were you crying for?

Anyhoo, nah you fucked it and you don't sound very professional at all.

What happened to cause you fo be shaking with tears and send that email?

I'd have to agree with the others, you seem to be looking at your employer like a parent. They are not there to provide a listening ear help support and understanding, particularly not an ex employer.

How old are you? I think from what you've said it's unlikely they will take you back I'm sorry.

Ah ok I didn't realise it was only three months. I'm assuming you're what 21?

I think you need to move on from this, you didn't handle the employment well, and it seems within weeks became jealous if others got progression. You need to apply for other roles and move on. This one is gone.

What stands out to me is you saying that home is hell and that you need money to take care of your parents. Are they claiming any disability benefits that would qualify you for carer's allowance? If not, have they looked into it or just assumed they will get nothing?

If this is a situation where you are being guilted into being their carer, you need to start seeking help to get out of the situation, starting with your GP but also using the internet to find groups and resources to support you.

I wish you the best.

I'm honestly not sure you're in any mental shape to be working, and I'm very sure you're not in any mental shape to be a good employee.

You seem to be expecting your employer to act as some combination of parent, therapist and nurse, and that just isn't going to happen, ever. You obviously have a lot going on in your life but a casual retail job is not the place to look for validation and support big enough to counter all of that. Your boundaries are a total mess and your coping strategies don't sound too great either.

This is a job for professionals, quite literally. I think you need to talk to your GP and get counselling and quite possibly medication. Do you have known mental health issues? You also need to make sure you're accessing any support services for carers, including financial/benefits. Try googling support for carers and/or talking to CAB.

You aren't getting this job back and you're going to have to accept that. I think you may need some time and work to be mentally in the right space to work at all, tbh.

I lost my job with 3 days notice. It's clear that although I loved my job and went over and above, I won't be returning. I'm still in the acceptance stage over it all. There are literally no jobs available that I can apply for that are coming through, so I need to sit and wait.

Sometimes you do just need to accept its time to move on regardless of how difficult it is.

OP, you have posted about this before haven’t you, not about this job maybe, but about your caring situation and your supposedly useless degree from Cambridge? I think the degree is a side issue, given that many of the most successful people in the country studied English, History etc at Cambridge or Oxford! However, leaving that aside, I think there is a lot more going on here.

You seem very young to be solely responsible for the care of two unwell parents and your mention of not having support or mentoring figures suggests that they have long-term conditions and that you have had to grow up before your time and possibly missed out on relationships, friendships and interactions which many of your contemporaries have enjoyed and which will have helped to form their world views and provide resilience and coping strategies. I think this is influencing your expectations of work. Being disappointed because you have been working for three months and haven’t received any recognition (at least in your eyes) is unrealistic. Three months may seem like a long time to you but it is a blink of an eye to management and as someone else pointed out you are still in a probationary period most likely. It’s nice to be recognised but you seem over-invested in other people who in your opinion are less worthy being given extra responsibilities etc. It is not your employers’ job to make you feel good about yourself. Praise where it is due is nice but has to be earned. I have been working for many years, do a good job and am generally working at full stretch, but I don’t expect to be specifically acknowledged for it. I could probably count on one hand the number of times in a year that I specifically get extra thanks for something and that will be a large presentation, organisation of an event, successful negotiation of a contract etc. Nor do I expect to be thanked more often than that! I turn up and fulfil my end of the bargain by doing a good job and hopefully getting on with my colleagues, my employer in turn pays me and provides an appropriate working environment. I do not consider my job to be my life and in turn I do not expect my employers to provide all the validation I receive in my life.

OP - don’t take it as a personal affront. I think companies just want people who keep the show on the road and things ticking over. Jobs come and go, it’s not necessarily your fault - as you mention margins are tighter etc which probably influences things.

Sounds like stuff at home in combination with everything is getting too much. Caring is a tough and much under-rated job. Can you get some help with that from social services? Don’t pour your all into your job - you will burn out. Just give what the employer requires. Look after yourself too.

@Pochemuchka55

It's often with the benefit of hindsight that you realise it was probably for the best. You have recognised on your other thread that you weren't getting the advancement you are looking for.

Now's the time to reconsider your alternative career options.

Your caring responsibilities at such a young age are taking their toll on you. Try to get some RL support if you can.

Everyone needs encouragement

I think in many jobs you have to provide your own encouragement and motivation

Employers tend not to appreciate high maintenance employees ime

The Op has posted about this job before, they wanted to do X training course but were not selected.

I think you were looking for things from that workplace you are not getting in the rest of your life. You want what you would get from close family or friends: support, encouragement, for them to care about you. However that is not what they are there to provide for employees. You might eventually make friends or have a supportive manager but you were only there a short while and it takes time to build up relationships.

I mean this kindly but no one has ESP, if you don't tell people you are struggling, they have no way of knowing. To them you acted unprofessionally for no apparent reason and are unreliable. It is no wonder they don't want you back, I wouldn't. Not because I didn't like you but because I need staff who are professional and reliable.

Three months is no time at all in a workplace, don't think you will get promoted quickly just because you love a job. Doesn't work like that I'm afraid.

Do you think it could be worth putting "2:1, English" and not state the university for your shop work applications? I don't know whether it would work or not.

Arts degrees definitely aren't useless, they teach lots of soft skills and can certainly be valued by employers.

The university have a pretty good careers service and you might well find that there are more jobs about the place than you first think. There will be local companies in most areas of the country and as you're looking at retail etc, it sounds like you've got the capacity to take something where you need to work your way up.

www.careers.cam.ac.uk/

They can help you get your CV set up and will even do practice interviews with you. It also has a whole website of job opportunities where people are especially keen for Cambridge graduates.

I understand that being told you're doing a good job is a valuable thing in a job. At my work we really make an effort to say thank you to each other because that makes everyone's days better and costs nothing. However, I would say you can't necessarily expect it in a job.

If you had a think through, what would you say you're good at? Do you feel you struggle with interpersonal skills (from the middle that seems to have happened here?) What things do you think you would enjoy in a job?

I'm really good at taking technical things and distilling them into a form a lay-person can understand. And at taking the key points from a long document to enable people to apply what's within. Other people are good at other stuff, but having a think about what you enjoy can be valuable for ending up in a career you care about.

OP - I knew of someone who did an editing job from home. Would this kind of thing suit you - at least for the moment where you have a lot on your plate? Have a look at jobs websites to see if there are things like this. I realise that you may want to get out of the house - perhaps a library could be a good workspace.

Volunteering may be a good way to gain different experience for your cv. I've read another of your threads and you seem to expect to run before you can walk, not everyone needs to be trained for the same role. Your time may have come in due course. It was only ever a short term role and unlikely to be well paid or stable.

Do you think it could be worth putting "2:1, English" and not state the university for your shop work applications?

I doubt it. It would only make you look strangely secretive, and like you have something to cover up. And believe me, a degree from Cambridge does not overqualify you for retail work if you have no other experience. You can leave a degree off a CV altogether if you think it overqualifies you, but an employer might then reasonably wonder what TF you were doing for 3+ years unless you were also consistently employed.

OP's degree is the least of her problems right now, tbh. I think she is likely to self-sabotage any work she gets until she is more stable and realistic emotionally, and eventually the resulting work history WILL be a real problem for employment. I would honestly advise getting what benefits she possibly can sorted out and seeing about better support systems and therapy Asap rather than focusing on employment, and I'm a big believer in the benefits of working.

Putting an English degree adds absolutely nothing benefit wise to a retail job application and carries the real risk of getting her CV immediately excluded

OP I’ve read your previous threads. I think you’re in quite a bad way emotionally. I think a lot of what you’re learning now people usually learn through Saturday jobs etc and it’s all coming a bit late.

You say you want to pursue music. All you need to do in your applications is say this. Let them believe you’re a pub gigger looking for some day work. There are so many better ways to present yourself than what’s going on here.

Your resilience seems very low and you also seem very emotionally dependant. There is a lot going on in your life right now and I think you do need some support. I would prioritise this, and reiterate my suggestion to contact your college for post graduate guidance and your GP for talking therapy (which is now easier to access in many areas due to phone/ web services)

I can only echo what other people have said - this is not normal behaviour for an employee! You turn up, you do your work, you go home. People may give feedback, but it’s not constant praise - and certainly not after 3 months in a position. You are not showing signs of being emotionally competent - are you sure you are ready to be in work with everything going on at home? A more senior position is not going to get your more pastoral care, less will be tolerated if you if anything.

Also OP I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I was very lost when I left uni and it took me far to long to gain the skills I needed for a career and to sort my life out and “adult”. What can really help is a mentor, even unofficially and I suggest you think of a friend from uni you admire in this regard to speak to.

I’m insulted by your insinuation that an arts degree from Cambridge is worth nothing.
Sorry you’re having a bad time, as others have said, you sound depressed and tbh hard work. If your company wanted you back they’d let you know, I walked out of a job for genuinely being taken the piss out of and they phoned me my whole journey home to make sure I came back the next day.
Your job should not be your life. You sound really down. Get help and sort things out. An arts degree from Cambridge is absolutely a ticket to training in a field that you will be valued in.

How are you feeling today, @Pochemuchka55?

It wasn't a misunderstanding though, was it? You walked out of the job. Sounds like they've hired someone to fill your hours. Find another job that will reward and appreciate your hard work

Having read both your previous threads, I am willing to bet that your employer's reluctance to train you or try to persuade you back again stems from the fact that they find you to be highly emotionally demanding and volatile. That is the last thing anyone wants in a casual, entry-level worker. It is also not feedback you are likely to get directly in the workplace, because it requires a brave and skilled manager who has an investment in you to give it. Most workplaces will simply manage you out and avoid ever telling you why.

I am telling you this straight because eventually, if you are going to be a success in any field, you are going to have to hear it and to work on changing it. A huge part, probably most, of practically every job is about personality, character, and interpersonal skills, not education or technical skills. Music is not a field which will indulge you in that respect either; it takes years and years of thankless grafting AND immense talent before you can get away with being high maintenance.

You need to get some help and support.

I know some people who have arts degrees & either work in the arts or in other non art related industries. So your assumption is incorrect

The general rule is NOT to leave a job, until you have a guaranteed new job

You may be able to claim universal credit. Look on www.gov.uk you need to apply for it now
However, because you walked out of your job, it may take some weeks before they pay you any money
The job centre should have a department that can help you rewrite your CV
They should also have a list of local job vacancies
If you are unemployed you may be able to go on some free courses

You also need to claim universal credit, because your National Insurance 'stamp' gets paid while you are unemployed. This contributes towards your state pension and other benefits

Have you signed up with temping agencies for work ?

Can you drive ?

Does that help ?