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Has anyone lost their job due to a misunderstanding and got it back?

82 replies

Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 13:07

I won't outline events. I want to know if genuine misunderstandings (when no-one is in the wrong) can be mended after contact is terminated.

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Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 13:49

No it was so lovely. The positives outweighed the negatives. My temperament gets the better of me at moments, but if I direct it in the right way, ie at work, I pour everything into my work and it's good.

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Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 13:53

0 hrs. 3 months. Don't need antidepressants, just to be valued. I expected too much and things got to me a bit. If only someone just said don't be daft, don't quit, but I don't have any parental figures or mentors. There was one manager who cared, I thought, but he just stood there as tears were rolling down my face and I asked if I should quit and he said nothing, just handed me a piece of paper. Again, all it would have taken was just a few kind words. It's my weakness, I know it, but I admire people who are calm and proud so I try to be the same. Begging is embarrassing.

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GrabbyGertie · 26/07/2019 13:54

OP, Do you have any disabilities?

It does sound like you shot yourself in the foot with the job . They couldn't really do anything for you if they did t know what was wrong.

It must be tough looking after your parents. I can imagine that makes things more stressful for you.

What sort of jobs are you applying for? Are they directly telling you that you are over qualified or are you assuming you are?

M0RVEN · 26/07/2019 13:54

I’m sorry but they are not going to re hire you.

You should have told your line manager about your concerns, not bottled them up for 2 months and hoped that they would read your mind.

Walking out without notice was very poor and completely not justified. You need to learn from this and act differently in your next job.

Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 13:56

Well it's retail and I have a degree from Cambridge, so yeah I think so. I can't use my degree, it's arts so pointless. All my friends are from privileged families, got jobs through contacts. They don't know about my situation and if they did we're all recent graduates they wouldn't know how to help

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LIZS · 26/07/2019 13:59

Sorry think you burnt your bridges and have learnt the hard way that praise is not something that is continuously forthcoming no matter how committed you think you are, especially in entry level roles. Was this your first job?

NoBaggyPants · 26/07/2019 13:59

I didn't suggest antidepressants. GPs do more than give out drugs.

What other work experience do you have?

You have a completely unrealistic view of the working world. I'm not sure what to suggest until you understand that.

HeadintheiClouds · 26/07/2019 13:59

Of course they’re not going to rehire someone who stormed out because they didn’t feel valued (all they had to do was say nice things??). Where is the misunderstanding there?

Passthecherrycoke · 26/07/2019 14:00

“Just to talk get support and understanding”

OP you are really misunderstanding the way employment and companies work. They are not there for support - you’re not even an employee! And when you were, you
Were there for a very very short amount of time as a casual worker. You’re enormously over estimating the importance of this job.

Why on earth would you put a degree from Cambridge on your CV to get a retail job? Take it off, say you spent 3 years caring for your parents or merge other jobs.

You sound very depressed but you also sound very unprepared for the work place. Is it worth seeing if there is any support available from ie DWP for this sort of thing?

Passthecherrycoke · 26/07/2019 14:01

Or contact your college as I bet they have support to get ex students into employment, all unis do and the Cambridge one probably isn’t all that busy....

NoBaggyPants · 26/07/2019 14:02

You can use your degree to open doors to all sorts of work. But you're still going to need to demonstrate skills that make you an attractive employee, you don't get a job on degree alone.

peachgreen · 26/07/2019 14:04

OP, I say this kindly, but I think you need to work on your resilience a little. There's loads of good self-help books out there which would be a great place to start.

IrenetheQuaint · 26/07/2019 14:06

Agree with everyone else that it's not your manager's job to help you manage your emotions. Have you thought of asking your GP to refer you for some counselling? It sounds like your life is quite difficult and you might find it helpful.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 26/07/2019 14:06

If you were there for just 3 months you'd have still been in probation. I think you've got absolutely no chance of getting it back, I realise that's not what you want to hear.

Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 14:07

peachgreen, I try to. My friend and I talked about this, he went to Winchester. He said his solutions have always been work and exercise, but it's not sustainable. We're the same. If there's trauma the intense feelings will always be there and manifest themselves oddly

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Sagradafamiliar · 26/07/2019 14:07

This is how you act in relationships, not jobs. Less emotional, much more professional next time. It's a tough lesson to learn but a valuable one all the same.
Fwiw the job didn't sound worth the aggro.

Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 14:07

OK sorry thanks everyone

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Pochemuchka55 · 26/07/2019 14:08

Thank you

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NoBaggyPants · 26/07/2019 14:10

Have you had traumatic experiences in your past? Because the work situation is not what most would consider traumatic.

The intense emotions and overreactions you describe could be symptomatic of mental health difficulties. I do think you need to see your GP and see what help might be available.

HeadintheiClouds · 26/07/2019 14:13

Had something specific happened when you’d finished your shift “shaking with tears”? Feeling unimportant to management because they’re not showering you with praise for doing your job shouldn’t evoke such an extreme response, that really isn’t normal.

Neither is imagining that hr are going to offer you support and understanding after you’ve terminated your contract?
You sound overwrought and really quite irrational.
You definitely need to seek counselling, but privately, don’t approach your former workplace again.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 26/07/2019 14:15

If you have past trauma I really do think you should see your GP. They may be able to arrange counselling or therapy to help you deal with the past and give you the tools you need to deal "normal life".

Moondust001 · 26/07/2019 14:15

I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad, but you really need to listen to the very good advice that you are getting here, and be much more realistic about your expectations of employment, or else you will be heading for a lot more misery.

Employers are not social workers. Not only is it not their job to prise out of you how bad things are at home or how you feel about things, but they really actually DO NOT CARE. Even the very best of employers are really only concerned about their own interests - that you turn up to work, do your job well, and don't cause them any problems. They will "look after you" as far as it takes to not land them on the wrong side of the law, and, if you are lucky, they might be genuinely nice people as well. But that's it.

So they aren't there to tell you whether you should quit, hand you tissues, or make you feel better.

As for an arts degree from Cambridge being useless, that's just rubbish. A degree from Cambridge is worth a lot to many people.

To be honest, it sounds very much like the problem lies not with the job or the degree, but with your own self-value. You need to "fix" that. Because no education and no employer is going to fix it for you. You will see better outcomes when you value yourself for who and what you are, not in relation to other people and things. But equally, you need to understand that nobody owes you anything, and that you are a new worker at the start of your career. That means "head down" and "toe the line" - don't expect rewards, praise, and extras. When and if you get them, that is nice. But the relationship is very easy to understand. You go to work, you work, they pay you. That's all.

peachgreen · 26/07/2019 15:02

I think you're looking to work to provide a similar atmosphere that you maybe enjoyed at university, with mentorship and regular feedback. This might come eventually but it won't happen in an entry-level retail job - they just want you to come to work, do your job competently and cause as little trouble or fuss as possible.

What are your long-term career plans?

QforCucumber · 26/07/2019 15:14

I was hiding this for two months So you were expecting more responsibilities and promotions after only a month of working there?

Whisky2014 · 26/07/2019 15:19

You walked out of your job. You are not entitled to it back just because you want it and the grass wasn't greener

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