Going back to work with barely any sleep. Help.

[Olivia1987]

Hi 👋

I’m going back to work after a year off of maternity leave. I’ve been trying so hard to get my baby sleeping better but nothing is working. I’m so exhausted. I know that there’s nothing else I can try to get a good nights sleep.

Does anyone have any advice on going back to work, when your baby doesn’t sleep great at night? I work in a coffee shop so It’s long hours on your feet and very busy. I’ve had some KIT days and I can’t keep up with everyone anymore. My friend who works there had a baby 2 months after me but her baby slept through from 2 weeks so she’s ok. I feel like I should be too. I’m just a bit worried about my performance because my little boy hates sleep so much 😓

Is it full time?
Is baby's dad around?
What hours does he work?

Does baby not sleep at all, or just intermittent through the night?

If not at all, would it be possible for you to sleep early evening (not ideal I know) say 5pm-12:30am, then OH to sleep 12:30am-whatever time he gets up for work?

I know it'd throw your body clock out completely but at least you can both get some good sleep while the other looks after baby.

If intermittent, you definitely need to share the get ups.

I went back to work at 9 months and my baby was a terrible sleeper. Being exhausted became the new normal. You will get through it, I promise.

I had exactly this. All I can recommend is you going to bed as early as humanly possible, be kind to yourself, don’t plan much on non working days/weekends so you can catch up with yourself and, if you think you’ll get a sympathetic ear, be honest with your colleagues about your situation. I told everyone I worked with, not as an excuse but as an explanation if I happened to forget something. They saw I was doing my absolute utmost to perform and thus forgave the odd thing. To be honest I was trying so hard not to let work suffer I think o did better! Good luck, you’ve got this!

I went back full time at 20 weeks - DC is now 3 1/2 and only just starting to sleep through the odd night - you just have to get sleep where you can - if that means falling asleep at 8pm so be it - I find adrenaline gets me through the working day and as soon as I get through the door I'm in bits!

It was awful when I went back. Coffee and sugar. I was going to work some days on two hours sleep. Came home, twins to bed, quick dinner and then we went to bed. It was survival at that point.

I had this and just ended up co-sleeping - was the only way not to end up totally exhausted. I'd go to bed really early when DD fell asleep too.

Yes I had this too when I went back at 12 months.

And I was so anxious so I also had many sleepless nights as I had insomnia between baby waking!

I can't remember much but it passed and baby gradually slept better around 18 months - 2 years.

Just be kind to yourself and don't take on any extras. Do the basics with regards to housework and cooking.

And I didn't tell anyone, I felt guilty about him sleeping so poorly so never breathed a word to anyone (apart from dh) about my sleeplessness and I think this helped me, fake it till you make it!!

What have you tried to get baby sleeping so far? Just wondering if we can think of anything else between us all.

Mine was a terrible sleeper till something like fourteen months when we got really tough and stopped feeding at night, just offered water when he woke. That seemed to do the trick as there wasn’t a reward when he woke up anymore. A big filling carb heavy meal for tea may help too.

Take every moment you can to sleep, easiest meals you can - you can get through this and your baby will start sleeping better at some point x

I feel for you. I’ve been in this position too.
You’ll just have to get to sleep as early as you can. I recommend taking a good multivitamin too!
Try and remember they are all just phases. The bad bits don’t last for ever!

I’ve tried everything. He’s actually just got a tooth through, but he’s waking frequently tonight hence why I’m up late.
He’s got black out blinds and curtains, a fan for when it’s really hot. He sleeps in his own room in his cot. He’s got a MyHummy which goes straight for 12 hours. When he wakes I go in and say “shhh” lie him back down if he’s stood up then settle him and leave.

He has had a routine since as early as he could have one if not before. He has dinner and a bath, the book and bed. He doesn’t have bottles anymore he doesn’t like milk. He doesn’t wake hungry at night he wakes because he’s restless and can’t settle his elf back to sleep which makes him very upset. We’ve had the community nursery nurse coming to see us for the past month to help us sort out his sleeping.

My partner works 14 hour days so I don’t expect him to get up in the night. However when I go back to work he’s cutting down on his hours so he will be able to help out more at night.

I went to see my manager today regarding this and he’s tired to reassure me.

It’s just all a bit overwhelming and maybe I’m stressing out about missing my time with my little boy.

I just want him to feel rested (which he doesn’t) if he woke up at 4am every morning but was happy and rested it wouldn’t be a problem. He wakes and he’s tired and cranky. That makes it worse. I’m tired.

I need help so bad.

Will he be going to nursery? Mine finally started sleeping as he was so tired after all the activity there and the long days.

It must be really tough @Olivia1987, feel for you. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Hopefully the nurse can help. I found the same as Mammalian, that when my little boy went to nursery from 10 months old he gradually started having fewer daytime naps and was very tired out after nursery from all the interaction and activities there. Now he’s gone from being a baby who woke every two hours or more at night to a toddler who sleeps all the way through. It does get better, hang on in there.

Just a post to say I'm in the exact same boat. I have also tried and do all of the good practice of sleep that you do and baby just absolutely can not self settle back to sleep. I know my last resort is hardcore cry it out which I won't do. I plan on lots of coffee and at least a few nights of going to bed when baby does at 7 so I can catch up. Good luck to us :(

I had this same problem and eventually out of desperation ended up co-sleeping. While it wasn't part of the plan, both DH and I agree that nighttime cuddles with DS are priceless and he is only tiny for a short period, and most importantly, everyone gets lots of sleep.