My friend is upset having gone back to work after maternity leave

[thegardener]

I'm a sahm and my friend has recently gone back to work. She is really missing her dd, her job is ok. Just wanted to ask for tips on being supportive to her.

I went back at the end of april and it really does take some time to adjust - I hated it to start with and you have a lot of guilt about leaving dc. What helped me was other mums wanting to know how it was going, being genuinely interested and also making positive comments about how ds was doing ie how happy he was or just asking about whether he liked his childcare - sometimes things the childminder did bothered me unnecessaryly and it was nice being able to off load

How old is you friends dc? my ds was 12mo and I was as ready as I could be to go back and he settled in fantastically well, I know a lot of mums who went back at 5-6 months and I think that is much harder, it could take her much longer to adjust if baby is younger....

also helps if you don't mention how fortunant you feel to be a sahm

Thanks for your message incy, my friends dc is 7 months she really misses him but he is settling in well to his new routine and her work is going well.

I do value her friendship & just want to be careful not to say the wrong thing & i do understand that she may not have the time for our friendship that she had before, did you find that with your friends?

Thank you for your advice, i'll put it into practice!

Just tea and sympathy.

I WOHM, will be able to stop in a month or two and I can't wait.

I think it sucks.

Thanks EPS, would the odd cake be useful too

I'm finding I'm drifting from some friends - its hard when you only have one day a week to catch up (I do 4 days) but I've managed to keep in touch with a couple of good friends and thats been great, don't be offended if you find you're always the one chasing her for a while, its hard finding the time balancing work and home stuff - I don't watch as much telly now as soon as ds is in bed we run around packing for the next morning and doing jobs before colasping into bed (I'm 4 mo pg so that doesn't help either!!)

yep loads of tea, listening and cake

congratulations incy! Hope you are putting your feet up when you can.

Thanks for your reply.