Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Co-worker went through my bag.

69 replies

Kitttykins · 01/11/2018 21:26

Hi,

Today a co-worker admited that she had gone through my bag while I was in the toilet (we don't have lockers or lockable drawers) to pull a practical joke. While normally this would not concern me, I recently had a termination due to medical reasons. Nobody at my work knew I was pregnant, I was waiting as we knew this could be a possibility and didn't want the sympathy or judgement of people I am not terribly close to. In my bag there were my hospital records, scans, and information about the termination which I believe she and another co-worker saw (I know I should of left it at home but I have been trying to blank everything out and forgot that everything was in this particular bag). She was very apologetic when she confessed and I felt awkward and told her that it was ok even though i was fuming. When I told DH tonight he was very angry, he wanted to confront this girl for going through my things and wants me to tell my boss. I don't know what to do as I've already told my co-worker that it's fine and dont want to come across as snakey as I work very closely with her, however she is a massive office gossip and I'm not sure if i can trust her with what she has possibly found out. What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
shakeyourcaboose · 01/11/2018 21:29

I am so sorry that they have done this despicable thing to you. Utter utter shits. you are going through enough with out this stress.💐

shakeyourcaboose · 01/11/2018 21:31

Sorry l just can't think of what steps you can take

CottonTailRabbit · 01/11/2018 21:31

If you think she might not keep her mouth shut you'll have to be super strict with her. Take her to one side and say you know she must have seen some private confidential material in your bag. Make it clear that you weren't bothered about the joke but if she breaks your confidence you will have to make a formal complaint about her. She needs to feel some fear to keep her flappy lips shut.

JuniperBeer · 01/11/2018 21:32

What kind of prank involves going through your bag?

I would tell your boss, by asking them if there is anywhere secure you can leave your bag as you caught X and Y going through it the other day?

daisychain01 · 01/11/2018 21:44

You could take out a formal grievance against her. This was akin to misconduct, depending on your company policy, to invade your privacy like that. Especially for some twattish practical joke. They deserve to have the book thrown at them for that.

Sorry about your medical situation, so sad for you.

WipsGlitter · 01/11/2018 21:48

Playing a prank? In work??

I'd make a complaint.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 01/11/2018 21:50

I’m actually a bit speechless at this!

Have you got a local HR rep or team?

I don’t normally advocate a grievance as a first step, but the fact that she thought this was in any way acceptable would suggest that she’s not going to tip her cap at a quiet word from her manager or HR.

Nettletheelf · 01/11/2018 21:54

What do you mean by ‘going through’ your bag? Do you mean that she examined everything in it or that she put something in it as an ill-judged prank?

Are you over-dramatising?

Runnynosehunny · 01/11/2018 21:56

This seems a strange thing to do. Is your work culture one in which you all prank each other often? If so that is a bit different as you can see how that might get out of hand and she go a bit far by looking through your bag. But if you don't usually do things like that it seems worse.

CoffeeCoffeeLove · 01/11/2018 22:15

I would definitely complain to your manager and asked get lockers installed. Breach of privacy and especially with the information in your bag your boss should understand if you are willing to explain.
People at my work once 'pranked' me buy wrapping my bag in cling film and hooking it over a pipe on the ceiling. One of those people was my supervisor!!
I refused to do any work until they got it down - I had £400 worth of technology in it the time (stuff I didn't want my brother to steal and sell for drugs) they waited an hour before getting it down (the end of my shift) and I was disciplined the next day by my manager as some else (not involved or aware of the prank) told her I wasn't doing my work, when I explained to her the situation she was more livid than me and allowed me to keep my belongings in the lockable cupboard in her office from then on and absolutely ripped the shit out of my supervisor for joining in on childish behaviour when he was supposed to be setting the example to all staff!

Lolololololol · 01/11/2018 22:19

*What kind of prank involves going through your bag?

This is exactly what I was thinking?
🤔🤔🤔

Original poster
Kitttykins · 01/11/2018 22:23

Our office is well known for being 'laid back' and pranks are pulled often. I don't think she was being malicious which is why I don't want to involve HR/bosses. @nettletheelf it's very possible that i am 'over-dramatising' - as I wasn't there I'm not 100% sure if she went through my bag in detail or just shoved the fake spider inside and never looked - yes my face was a picture when I found it.

I think I will just ask her to keep her mouth shut about anything she found or I will report her to HR. Thank you for all the advice Smile

OP posts:
HarveyNickNacks · 01/11/2018 22:59

An office prank? How old are these people?

I agree with your DH. You need to report it. I'm a senior manager and I would take this very seriously. Rooting through someone's handbag isn't a prank. It's bullying and horrible. No matter how funny they think it is. It's an invasion of personal privacy and property. I'd go apeshit if someone did this to me!

Your stupid colleague obviously doesn't realise the position she has put herself and her idiot friends in. You could have had an envelope with £1K in there that went missing, or a credit card. She's admitted going through your handbag....

A few years back I worked in internal security. I had a colleague who we thought was just a bit over zealous. He would stay back after hours and go round trying to open every desk pedestal and would remove everything he deemed to be valuable or any data deemed to be sensitive to supposedly report to management. Which he did - Joe Bloggs has left his system access password on a post it note in his drawer, please remind him of our policy.. Jane Smith has left a report in her top drawer which includes some commercial risks that should be confidential etc etc....

One of these items was an envelope with the deposits for an Xmas Do in a drawer that a colleague had forgotten to lock.

He stupidly forgot to have an independent witness with him whilst doing his drawer checks. The colleague who had left the collection in the unlocked drawer claimed there was £150 in the envelope, with a completed list of who had paid and the colleague who removed it claimed there was only £100 and no list. The deposit keeper could prove how much was in the envelope as he'd photocopied everything. I left during the investigation so wasn't party to the full findings but I understand that the full £150 was returned. The drawer checker left shortly afterwards. I still wonder what other stuff he pinched during his 'checks' which nobody noticed until weeks/months afterwards.

HarveyNickNacks · 01/11/2018 23:13

No Kitttykins you are not over dramatising. If anything you are under dramatising. This is absolutely not normal for any workplace.

I wouldn't fucking dream of interfering with a colleague's personal property and would be fucking furious if anyone tried it with mine.

I repeat. This is not normal. Does this sort of prankery work at all levels? How would your boss feel if you sauntered into his/her office and rooted through their work bag, possibly reading private information. And the explained that it was just a prank? Yep. You'd be out on your ear!

Starlive23 · 01/11/2018 23:14

I'm sure she didn't go through every thing and read your hospital green notes if all she wanted to do was put a pretend spider in there I think you are absolutely over thinking this OP.

My heart goes out to you as you are obviously (and understandably) very sensitive about this, but if you try to take a step back and think about it logically, it's pretty unlikely she had time to snoop.

Nettletheelf · 01/11/2018 23:22

I feel quite sorry for the colleague who, we now learn, only planted a fake spider in the OP’s bag and most likely didn’t ‘go through’ the OP’s bag at all.

Plenty of people baying for her blood and encouraging the OP to complain to HR with a view, presumably, to having the colleague punished or sacked. I get what Harveynicknacks is saying about the colleague being foolish, but I think that the reaction on this thread is disproportionate.

OP, I think that your strategy is the right one and I think that it’s unlikely that your colleague looked at the contents of your bag at all.

mumsastudent · 01/11/2018 23:28

pranks of this type work on the "don't you have a sense of humour" translation - bullying

HarveyNickNacks · 01/11/2018 23:41

I agree with what Nettletheelf is saying. Chucking a plastic spider into a bag doesn't seem that bad.

Unless of course you've got a spider phobia, that colleagues know about, and the people chucking the plastic spider into the bag know that. That's bullying. It's cruel and horrible and isn't funny.

swingofthings · 02/11/2018 06:01

What prank was it? Is it a common thing to do? What prompted her to confess? Was it because she genuinely felt bad or she was about to get caught or be reported by someone else? Did she mentiin the letters and that she'd read them.

Assuming she was genuine I would leave it there. She didn't steal anything and apologised. What do you want the boss to do discipline her? She's unlikely to lose her job since nothing was stolen, more likely to get a warning but that's likely to get her upset and the others agreeing with her so the atmosphere might be awkward.

Don't you have a lockable drawer by your desk? If you do, then you have some responsibility in not locking your bag. If you don't, I would suggest it to the boss saying that you don't feel comfortable leaving your bag when you go to the toilet or to make tea.

HoppingPavlova · 02/11/2018 06:14

Why did you tell her it was fine in the first place Confused .

InfiniteSheldon · 02/11/2018 06:22

She put a fake spider in your bag. Why did that involve going through your bag? Are you catastrophising if so take a breath if not report her.

Alfie190 · 02/11/2018 06:25

So after your first post about going through your bag, I was definitely of the opinion that this is a matter for HR and disciplinary is required.

However now you have said a fake spider was deposited, this coul have been dropped into a bag that doesn’t zip up without even touching it.

So I will reserve judgement as dropping a fake spider into an open bag (which I also don’t approve of) but it is quite different to “going though” the bag.

AJPTaylor · 02/11/2018 06:33

Try to forget about it I reckon
It doesn't sound like she went through your bag, just chucked a plastic spider into it

wewillrememberthem · 02/11/2018 06:45

Breach of privacy, lack of trust, report her.

Nettletheelf · 02/11/2018 07:15

Why is putting a fake spider into somebody’s bag ‘a breach of privacy’? As another poster said, the colleague probably didn’t even have to unzip the OP’s bag.

I assume the ‘prank’ was linked to Halloween. I wouldn’t get involved in that sort of thing, because it’s daft. Nor would I report somebody who put a pretend spider in my bag, because it is daft. Not malicious, not bullying, not a breach of privacy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread