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Original poster

City lawyer with toddlers can't cope

821 replies

RosieIrene · 11/06/2007 23:30

I work FT at a city firm and have two dd 1 and 3. Have a full time daily nanny but still can't cope. Work all day, come home and put kids to bed and work all evening to make billable target or have to go to client functions. So stressed out that on weekend just want to sit in garden with kids and do nothing. Can't sleep, can't talk to anyone. How do people manage?

OP posts:
chocolatedot · 14/06/2007 20:23

I can well see why you're upset ST, but it is patently obvious that the comments are borne out of incredible ignorance. When I worked we had a sensational Nanny, incredibly sttuned to the children's development and fantastically enthusiastic and creative. I'm constantly impressed by many of the Nannies' at my children's school.

The stuff about not being able to get good Nannies in Paris is rubbish too. If you are willing to pay the sort of professional wages a good Nanny derves, you will have no problem getting a top quality Nanny in that city.

zizou · 14/06/2007 20:38

RosieIrene, are you there?

mumblechum · 14/06/2007 20:40

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Caroline1852 · 14/06/2007 20:42

Scottish Thistle - I don't remember offering to look after your children. Well done though on getting some O Levels and some Highers.

Bink · 14/06/2007 20:42

ScottishThistle - I think I read Caroline's comments as deliberately exaggerated tongue-in-cheek. I hope so. There are masses of nanny employers out there (inc. me) who have all respect for their nannies.

Re Anna - naturally she is invested in there not being good nannies available, as she doesn't want to have one. So self-fulfilling prophecy thing.

Re Anchovy & PFB, & blueshoes & "easy child" - definitely. Anna's dd sounds very sweet - but - instructive anecdote: once I took ds on a plane (he was 8 months) and he was good as gold & all fascinated by everything, and at the end of the flight the man at the end of the row said "I have never seen a child be so good on public transport."

I preened & said thankyou; the man looked quite straight-faced & almost reproving and said "It's a compliment to him really." Anna might do well to have a similar experience.

MarshaBrady · 14/06/2007 20:43

Zizou shes scarpered dont blame her threads to long! lol
Scottishthistle dont worry about it. My next door neighbour's nanny is wonderful, intelligent, loving, patient and energetic - all qualities which are wonderful for the children, I can see they are happy. I cant personally speak for those who live in Paris as dont know the childcare there, however my Parisian cousins are there, one is a lawyer and uses childcare. Knowing how well-off they are, i know she would have found someone fantastic to look after her little daughter.

Hideehi · 14/06/2007 20:45

Ok step away from the bitch, she's not worth it and all that.
I believe GCSE's measure fuck all in terms of common sense and intelligence and that's what i'm looking for in a nanny not their ability to be spoon fed and drivel out quotations from Shakespear.

Aloha · 14/06/2007 20:45

At risk of the pitchforks, I can see Anna's point. She is in France, where, I gather, the childcare situation is totally different from the UK. She is part of a split family and she wants to work on that. I think her posts are about her situation and saying it is not a waste for a woman to bring up her own kids. I would hate to have my kids in f/t childcare. Much as they drive me batty I'd miss them so much. MY ds's childminder was crap. I know other people were much luckier. MY experience has totally coloured my attitude and i've had minimal childcare for dd because of it. I think personal abuse does not help.

doggiesayswoof · 14/06/2007 20:47

lol Aloha
Unless it's personal abuse of Xenia eh?
Each to their own

Aloha · 14/06/2007 20:48

Fine just carry on abusing them, if that floats your boat. I'm sure it's very funny.

ScottishThistle · 14/06/2007 20:50

Caroline, I didn't say you offered!

You obviously wouldn't look after somebody else's children as I imagine it's below you!

I on the other hand was brought up to respect people & the choices they make. Even people as ill educated as bin men(assuming they are all very thick obviously!)

doggiesayswoof · 14/06/2007 20:53

Actually Aloha, I was recalling some posts of your own earlier in the thread which were directed at Xenia and made me raise my eyebrows a bit. But anyhoo

chocolatedot · 14/06/2007 20:57

Aloha, a Nanny is very different from a childminder. Don't know what you means about childcare in France being "totally different to the UK". You can certainly get excellent childcare in France if you are prepared to pay for it.

ScottishThistle · 14/06/2007 20:58

I'll say one more thing then I just have to go & do something more useful!

I as a Nanny have had the joy of working for/meeting very many highly educated professional types & I've yet to meet one who would have the patience/humour & willingness to teach their child as well as I have.

Take from that what you will, degrees do not maketh a fantastic teacher!

Aloha · 14/06/2007 20:58

Xenia called mothers who look after their own children 'prostitutes' and 'parasites' - if you can find anything I said that remotely compares I will give you a packet of chocolate buttons.

Aloha · 14/06/2007 20:59

And I think I am the best carer and teacher of my children that they will ever have. I fail to see why that is offensive.

ScottishThistle · 14/06/2007 21:04

Aloha, Anna & caroline calling Nannies thick is indeed very offensive!

It is to me, a Nanny!

Aloha · 14/06/2007 21:07

i can't see the word thick anywhere.

Aloha · 14/06/2007 21:08

I've found a Polish au pair with a degree to look after dd part time and she's lovely. Ds suffered, and I mean suffered, from some of his childcare, and it is my fault.

Oblomov · 14/06/2007 21:08

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chocolatedot · 14/06/2007 21:09

There's obviously nothing offensive in that remark Aloha but you are lucky enough to be a writer which means you are able to combine an interesting, fulfilling job without recourse to much childcare. Unfortunately for most women who need to earn money or simplt want some sort of a career, that's not possible. In that context, basing your view on one childminder who I'm guessing you paid a modest sum, is not especially helpful.

ScottishThistle · 14/06/2007 21:10

Then perhaps you should read back the thread Aloha, both have called Nannies unintelligent/thick/lacking brains!

Aloha · 14/06/2007 21:11

Yeah, she was really exploited. that must be it. She put my son (who was later diagnosed with aspergers) sobbing in a playpen all day and it was my fault for exploiting her for paying the exact amount of money she asked for.

Oblomov · 14/06/2007 21:13

Aloha, you have missed her posts - read again - she said that nannies only did it, because they didn't have the brains to do anything else.

Aloha · 14/06/2007 21:13

I am so lucky to have a child with special needs. So, so, so lucky. I bet you wish you were me, eh?