Dreading full time work

[Mooieminnie21]

Hi all,
I am due back to work in a couple of weeks and due to money I have to go back full time (Mon-Fri). Firstly I really don't want to go back at all....! I know all mums probably feel like this but I just can't imagine not spending all day with my boy. Also, I am feeling really worried about how I'll actually cope. My little one gets up about 6ish each morning and normally sleeps through (unless he's teething so might wake once a night) but I just feel so shattered and I'm worried how I'll cope with working full time and looking after my boy. Has anyone done the same and been ok? I need some reassurance.

@Mooieminnie21 i'm the oppoeite i can't wait to go back to work, i need to start using my brain again.

You'll have to adjust, and create a new routine. But i think you need to start thinking more positively about it instead of negatively or you'll struggle even more.

Make the most of evenings and weekends

I feel for you, I couldn't have done it. Is there any way you could condense 4 days into 3 to have more time with your child?

I am sure you will cope. What do you think not coping looks like? Meltsdowns?

You just need to adjust to a new normal.

You will cope and it will be fine. Honestly you will feel like death for the first week, then it will start to improve, in a month it'll be normal.

Ugh, remember those days! I went back when my DD was two months' old (only six weeks maternity leave) and she used to wake at 4am. I was also overseas and my partner had left. I pretty much sleepwalked through the first couple of months and then just got into a routine. I think that if you know it's a process you have to go through, you just decide that you can do it. I think it was much harder for me to leave DD than for her - she wasn't bothered. It was me crying on the way to work!! Very best of luck. You'll be fine.

No mention of the father? How can he bear to be parted from the child too? Is it a sexist marriage? Surely he will also have to do chores etc in the evening after work but at least the two of you will be sharing them.

Sounds alright if your boy sleeps through the night and wakes at six. Go to bed a bit earlier and when you rise at 6am (which seems like middle of night to me but mine never stirred that early, neither did I), you'll have time to feed and get him read, have a shower and be off.

Going back to work is wonderful!

I went back to work last month. I’m full time as my flexible working request to work 4 days was denied but I shifted my hours forward by an hour and I can work from home one day a week. I was looking forward to going back and the first couple of weeks were easy but then it’s been much harder and I keep having good days and bad days.

Firstly, don’t over plan weekends. I was going at what was a pre-maternity normal pace but found myself exhausted from having no time to relax trying to make the most of the time with my little one.

Secondly, things will have changed at work while you’ve been away. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get back to how you were working before too quickly, it takes time.

Working from home has made a bigger difference than I expected - with no commute, I have an extra hour at each end of the day within DDs waking hours.

She wakes up around 6am too and although we switched our routines so DH would be in charge of mornings so I could leave for work earlier, most days I get a chance to have a cuddle while he is getting her milk ready. I then get an hour with her after work for dinner/bath/bed. It doesn’t sound like much when you think you’re together all day at the moment, but it’s ok.

Thanks for your all comments and own experiences. I am feeling a bit better about it all now....was a bit overwhelmed to start off with. I'm back tomorrow so we shall see how it all goes. My other half works shifts for the person who commented I'm in a sexist relationship! 🤣 so some days I will do it all alone. I have some holiday to use so will be using it each week so technically won't be full time until April next year. Think I was having a bit of an emotional moment and it all got on top of me. I'm sure they'll be plenty more to come! How long would actually be long enough to have off...I've had 11 months and so fair caught all my babies firsts! Even walking! I'm very lucky so I'm being positive! 😬 xx

Good luck today! I used holiday to make it a 4 day week, but could only do it for a month. It helped a lot with the adjustment so it’s great that you can do it until April! If it all goes well you could probably request 4 days if you wanted to, and prove that it works.

It is sh*t OP. Society shouldn't put women in this position. But here we are. Like most things we get used to them and manage, just takes a bit of getting used to. Good luck.