Why working mums are being sold an impossible dream about work/life balance — and how to set the record straight

[harajukubabe]

Why working mums are being sold an impossible dream about work/life balance — and how to set the record straight

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/20b6eb26-a078-11e8-a5b5-ff7db6a467c1

Rang so true for me... this article.

There are many advantages of being a mum today. Maternity leave is longer and better paid. There is paternity leave which didn't exist when I had my son. And there is 30 hours free childcare from 3. Colleagues of mine had 12 weeks mat leave with prem twins and then were back. You can't have everything. I compromised by working part time after D'S was born until he was a teen. I have paid the price of not sticking to the male career trajectory. What I see in some (not all) younger colleagues is people taking a full time salary without the full time commitment. If you don't want to work full time, be honest, go part time and take the salary hit. You can't have everything.

If you work full time and are busy mum as well sacrifices have to be made. School sports days, concerts etc are the sacrifice I have made. Often work 50 hours a week and have picked up my children from childcare straight from work since they were all 6 months old. They are now 18, 17, 12 and 10. It’s like starting an evening shift at a different job every night after doing a long shift and it’s been a long time but getting easier. Feel like I’ve just started to get a bit of a life back but it has been worth every minute, but I do feel like I’ve missed things that I wouldn’t have missed if I was a stay at home mum. Loved the rare days when I was at the school gates to do pick up. Don’t know any of the mums at school but my kids have still made a lot of friends. House never empty. I often hear moaning from mums at work but I’ve always found that if you are at work you should not be thinking of kids and if home shouldn’t be thinking about work. Not always easy but quite simple concept. It’s important to be independent and teach work ethic but a hairs breadth from suffering burn out every single night when turning out the bedside light

Monsters your post really resonates with me! I'm in the situation you were in 11 years ago. My husband and I both work full time in very demanding jobs (routinely 50 hours at work plus 3 hours in evenings and sometimes a day at the weekend where we take turns to take all the kids out so the other can work). We are trying to make it work. The pay is adequate but not on an hourly-rate basis (we're salaried with annual bonuses and school fee commitments).

Would you be so kind as to share any of your advice about things that worked for you? Things you think worked well, pitfalls to avoid, etc? Thanks so much.