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Original poster

anyone who with small children who travels abroad for work - how bad is it?

32 replies

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:08

I work from home at the moment with a one year old and it sort of works, but I want to get my career back on track and have been given a great chance, to carry on working flexibly from home. But it will mean I have to go abroad every five weeks or so, mainly for two or three days, but sometimes a week. I have childcare sorted through grandparents and a great nanny, but will it be too disruptive to ds, or will he cope? He's a lovely, sociable, happy baby who manages fine without me.

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motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:10

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:14

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Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:15

don't you work from home too?

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motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:15

Just envious. Look on the bright side. The side that means whole nights on your glorious own. Time to concentrate on your job, not the whole home stuff...

motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:16

I work based from home much of the time (with childcare, obviously) but I don't get to go away.

TootyFrooty · 31/05/2007 18:16

I imagine MI means that she is very jealous of the chance to do a flexible job you love involving travel. You have great childcare and a happy baby and if it's what you want then go for it.

Am I right MI?

Califrau · 31/05/2007 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:17

It's the going away bit I am particularly slavering about. Going away with great childcare. On the very rare occasions I get to go away a complicated juggling act is involved.

stealthsquiggle · 31/05/2007 18:18

oranges - I would go for it now - DS will cope far bettwe than he would if you started travelling in 2-3yrs time....IMHO.

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:19

but i went away this week for two nights, and ds was definitely off with me when I came back. He let me pick him up then refused to get out of my arms but would not smile or look at me for hours. When dh comes back from a long trip, ds races to the door laughing.

aahh, the two nights unbroken sleep were wonderful though, and the chance to have a long, uninterrupted shower.

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motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:21

Seriously, I'm quite sure he'll be fine. Possibly huffy, but fine. There is a huge difference between Huffy and Damaged!

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:21

my childcare is still complicated as my mother works too and needs to juggle her days to help me out, and i don't earn a fortune so the nanny /babysitter who I pay by the hour certainly dents my earnings. MI, I remember reading a post once and being at your childminder. I can't find a decent one round here.

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PollyLogos · 31/05/2007 18:22

Someone else on mn had almost exactly the same query a while ago. She did take the job and i think all is going well. can't remember who it was though. Maybe someone else will remember.

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:22

I guess damaged won't show up for a few years anyway...

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motherinferior · 31/05/2007 18:23

Ah, that is tough. I'm sorry.

I do think it is probably worth it overall, if it's usually only a couple of nights.

nogoes · 31/05/2007 18:25

Until you do it I don't think you will know. I know one mum who travels abroad regularly and loves it really enjoys the time away but another mum finds it heart wrenching and feels really guilty. Try it for a few months and see how you find it.

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:27

that's the thing. the few times i've been away i've loved the time on my own, but can't help feeling a little guilty about that.

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Judy1234 · 31/05/2007 18:36

Most people who do it love it. I meet them all the time. It's such luxury. You get to go to bed when you choose and sleep all night. You are pampered in nice hotels etc. Men and women with small children tend to love it.

Mostly children don't like changes but it doesn't hurt them. I have been away may be once or twice a year and they have survived. You have lucky to have parents around. Finding oer night care and covering 6.30am to before school etc is some of the hardest childcare to find.

Judy1234 · 31/05/2007 18:37

I turned down a trip to India for someone today for work. Never been either. never mind.

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 18:40

why did you turn it down?

can't other halves (if there is one) do overnight and early morning childcare?

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Issy · 31/05/2007 18:56

I'm writing this from a hotel in Washington...

My job takes me abroad about once every six to eight weeks. I generally leave mid-day Monday and return early on Friday morning. Generally it's fine - I have excellent childcare and DH is the chief Bedtime person anyway.

The DDs are 4 and 6 and I do miss them, particularly by day 3, but they really are fine without me and so familiar with the concept of me going to the US that my departure rarely makes them feel insecure. If the trip is going to be any longer than a couple of nights we exchange emails and photos. DH is also talking about getting Skype and a Skype camera enabled on my laptop and our home computer so that I can talk to them and see them every day!

It can be tough - I particularly remember a trip to Asia that came immediately after two weeks at home with the DDs; I wept so copiously in the back of the limo on the way to the airport that the driver offered to pull over. But generally it's fine and there is something to be said for uninterrupted sleep and cocktail parties and hotel swimming pools.....

Re-entry is tricky until you learn to ditch any expectation of a Walton-styleee homecoming and sidle gently into the house. Occasionally the DDs will throw themselves at me, before rooting through my bag for presents, but generally they ignore me for the first hour or so then creep quietly onto my knee almost un-noticed. I also think that they deliberately push the boundaries on the first day back until I shout at them. At that point they are reassured that the 'real mummy' has returned and equilibrium is restored!

Issy · 31/05/2007 18:57

Hi Xenia

I'm going to India for work in September. I have been there before but never on business and never to Hyderabad and Chennai, so I too would be disappointed if I had to turn it down.

Issy · 31/05/2007 19:35

Whoops, I should have said "Issy FKA 'Issymum'"

Judy1234 · 31/05/2007 19:36

Partly my fault. I didn't probe about the fee and assumed I'd lose more by my absence from here. If I didn't have children and financial responsibilities like that I would have gone. The older children could have covered the morning and nights particularly as the 3 university ones are about to have their usual summer 3 months off.
(Their father doesn't realy see any of them and pays nothing and is a complete waste of space)

Original poster

oranges · 31/05/2007 19:40

That's interesting about re-entry. Both times I returned home from a long trip, ds was off with my and my parents, who were looking after him, seemed slightly shocked at how cool he was. He only thawed after I stopped fussing over him and went on the computer.

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