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Original poster

Single parent working full time

14 replies

stressedandskint · 10/04/2018 09:34

I'm a single parent and my 6 year old lives with me and goes to her dad's every weekend.

I currently work part time 2 days a week but this a casual hours role so I have no stability and I don't get paid during school holidays. This role is due to end in a month or so.

I've seen a full time job vacancy that would use my qualifications. The only problem is it's full time 8:40am til 5pm Monday to Friday.

My daughter's father doesn't like me working part time and is always having a go at me, he seems to think I should be a stay at home mum (he hasn't come up with a way for me to finance that though surprisingly!)

My worry is that if I got a full time job, I'd hardly see my daughter as she's at her dad's every weekend and he wouldn't accept an every other weekend or similar arrangement. Also, I would struggle taking her to her activities (her dad doesn't live locally and doesn't drive).

I don't want her missing out on things and I don't want to miss out on her childhood. But I do want to work more hours than I currently do and I want financial stability.

What should I do?

OP posts:
shortcutcity · 10/04/2018 09:38

Her dad seems to want to tell you what to do with your life, but he can't drive and help you out? So annoying!

If you want to work more hours, I would suggest applying for the job. Could you maybe apply and see if they would accept part-time? Is her dad willing to have her during the week, or does he live too far away to help with school runs?

Very tricky, hopefully, someone more helpful will be along soon!

shortcutcity · 10/04/2018 09:39

Also, would the new job pay for any childcare, just for after school pick ups, maybe? Do you have any other family around to help you until you finished work?

Original poster
stressedandskint · 10/04/2018 09:43

He lives too far to help out through the week. That's a good idea to apply and then ask if they'd consider part time. The worst they can do is say no!

OP posts:
Temporaryanonymity · 10/04/2018 09:45

I work full time and am a single parent. My job is fairly flexible though.

Akire · 10/04/2018 09:45

EOW May have worked when You weren’t working but can’t see any court enforcing it. One weekend each. What time does she go to bed? How long will you see her each day?

If neither of you are around for after school activities there are plenty later or at weekend. You both have to decide what’s important and do the driving around to get her there.

Original poster
stressedandskint · 10/04/2018 09:46

No family. Both parents died and I'm an only child. No extended family either. None of my friends have children so they all work full time themselves.

She goes to before/after school childcare two days a week and they would have her 5 days a week if needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
stressedandskint · 10/04/2018 09:49

I don't drive either haha! I'm hoping to have driving lessons when I'm earning enough to afford them.

I think I'm just going to have to keep looking and find a job that is 3 or 4 days a week or one that I can do at weekends. In the meantime, I'll apply for the job advertised and if I'm lucky enough to get it, I'll ask if I can go part time.

OP posts:
insancerre · 10/04/2018 09:52

Go for the full-time job and change the arrangements to every other weekend plus some school holidays
Don't worry about after school activities, they are overrated

shortcutcity · 10/04/2018 09:52

Yeah, that's how I got my job! They just hired me and another person part-time, instead of just one.

That's good, maybe see what she thinks about being there 5 days a week!

se22mother · 10/04/2018 09:55

I'm a full time working single mother. Use wrap around care at school and go got the job. Show your daughter what you are capable of and make her proud

Lastoftheusernames · 10/04/2018 10:00

Your ex has no right to every weekend If you are working full time (or even if you aren't) as your DD is entitled to quality time with you too. Any solicitor will tell him this and a court would rule for EOW so he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Are there activities she can do after school at school?

Just apply for the job, or any other job and you can work out how it will work once you've got an offer. You need some financial stability and that's important for your DD too.

Original poster
stressedandskint · 10/04/2018 16:52

Thanks for your replies. I've applied for a few jobs today. I'm going to take whatever I can get as there doesn't seem to be many part time jobs out there that aren't minimum wage. I've worked hard to get my qualifications so I'm not doing something that is massively below my skill set just because it's part time.

OP posts:
Yika · 14/04/2018 17:31

Just apply for full-time and if they won't accept part-time, your ex will have to accept EOW arrangements. The hours are not unreasonably long if the workplace is close to home - and you also do not have to do it for ever. I do understand your concern about not seeing your child enough. Still, as long as she enjoys the wraparound care and has friends there, I do not think it will dramatically impact her wellbeing. It may be you who suffers more from not seeing her so much. Regarding after school activities, another option might be to put her in a holiday activity club for a specific sport or activity if you have the opportunity.

BackforGood · 14/04/2018 18:02

Apply for the job. Out childcare in place. Change the arrangements for weekends. It isn't up to him to dictate if you work or not. It wouldn't be up to him if you were together, it certainly isn't if you are apart.

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