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Original poster

Signed off sick, work still pressuring me

101 replies

SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 16:32

Hi everyone,

So basically I am signed off work and have been for a while. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and struggling in regards to fatigue, sickness (sometimes) and generally adjusting to my new body and baby is draining me! However, work are contacting me almost daily trying to get me to attend meetings with them. I have no intention to go back to work right now as I have enough strain as it is.they want me to attend occy health appointment but when I said can't attend at the time provided, they've made a massive fuss and said they can't rearrange!

I just want them to leave me alone, but I don't know how to go about it? I Will speak to my doctor in hope they could maybe advise as they're really stressing me out and I struggle with depression and things as it is.

If anyone can offer advise, please do? I may consider quitting but don't want this to effect my maternity allowance (not entitled to smp) so if anyone has experience of leaving during pregnancy please share :)

Sorry it's long winded but thank you x

OP posts:
QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 23/03/2018 16:34

how are they contacting you? if email -> setup an autoreply.

RatherBeRiding · 23/03/2018 16:40

Despite the fact you are signed off sick it may well be their policy that you see Occ Health - however it is bollocks for them to say they can't re-arrange your appointment. Who was it made a fuss about that? Your manager or OH? If you are required to attend OH, then deal with them about it, and only them.

How are work contacting you? You will just have ignore their pestering - don't answer the phone, don't answer emails.

However - you are still employed by them, so will have to engage to a certain extent until your maternity leave begins but if you're signed off sick, then you're signed off sick and shouldn't have to deal with being pestered to attend meetings. If you were in hospital in traction with a broken spine they wouldn't be pestering you to attend appointments! Deal with OH if you have to, but at a time that suits you.

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 16:41

How long have you been absent for so far?

When they contact you do you respond or ignore?

Employers are entitled, encouraged even, to maintain reasonable contact with employees who are on sickness absence and after a reasonable amount of time OH referral is the right thing to do to either facilitate a return to work with adjustments or confirm that's not possible. They should rearrange the OH appt though to suit you.

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 17:04

So it started around 12 weeks my sickness, was on and off then decided to get signed off continuously because they pressured me a fair bit when I wasn't signed off in regards to getting me to come to work. I do respond to their emails but not often on the phone as my phone is currently blocked but can still accept calls when I catch them.

It was my manager who made the fuss, said it was too short notice as it's next wednesday. Because I can't attend that they want me to meet them at the office with her and the practice manager. There is no way I can go to this as it will put way too much stress on me. Happy to do the occupational health appointment though as I'm comfortable with telling another party I'm not able to work.

I'm not sure when I should start my maternity leave also, as wondering if starting it sooner is better because I don't think I'll be going back to this job afterwards after the way they've handled this with me.

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
flowery · 23/03/2018 17:23

It’s unusual for someone who is signed off sick not to be able to attend an OH appointment. That’s assuming it is scheduled for during working hours, is that the case?

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 17:27

As I said, I'm happy to attend the occupational health appointment. My partner works nights and it conflicts with the early time they have given me. We are in temp accommodation and only have one key to our flat. I told them this and they said they can't offer me another time which I believe to be a bit unbelievable. So, I just turned round and said I can't attend can you offer me an alternative day and now they're stressing me saying I need to attend a meeting with manager and practice manager!

OP posts:
flowery · 23/03/2018 17:34

How is your partner relevant? Does he need to take you to the appointment or something? Is it more difficult to get to than your normal workplace?

Kelsoooo · 23/03/2018 17:34

You really do need to engage with them. Pregnancy is tiring, yes. But the thing about your partner and they key is ridiculous I’d be looking to get rid of you tbh.

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 17:36

Do you def qualify for mat allowance?

Tbf it doesn't sound like they've done anything wrong. Just suggest an alternative day for the OH meeting, trying to dodge it will just stress you out even more.

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 17:40

And they are still perfectly within their rights to request you attend a meeting with them. If you can't go to the office suggest another location.

You do need to work with them on this. Don't make the mistake of thinking they can't terminate your employment which may affect your MA. They absolutely can as long as they do it fairly.

ScreamingValenta · 23/03/2018 17:51

Regarding the key to your flat meaning you can't make the appointment, - are you saying that even if you were fit and well, you wouldn't be able to go into work?

It would be very poor management of your absence if your employers weren't making an attempt to support your return to work - and this does involve contact and meetings with you.

QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 17:52

What are you actually signed off with? As in what does your sick note say? Will you be entitled to maternity pay if on ssp? Does your contract state a sickness procedure? They're within rights to request to meet and tbf you seem like you're really not prepared to accommodate them.

TerfWarz · 23/03/2018 18:08

I can understand that you want to be left alone, but your employer is right to be wanting to meet with you, assuming these meetings are about your absence. If you cannot attend the office, how about somewhere neutral or a home visit?

How long have you been off for, how long is your doctor's note?

I'm sorry but if you were my employee I would probably be looking at disciplinary action so please be careful and just engage with them. It doesn't sound like work is causing you stress but your depression and pregnancy, I can appreciate it's difficult.

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 18:27

I'm quite shocked at the responses I'm now getting to be honest. Clearly none of you have been in this situation and what you're saying isn't helpful, I've been nothing but accommodating to them. All I've asked for is a different day I don't see how this is a problem, what if I had an antenatal appt would they be forcing me to go?

My partner starts his new night shift jobs next week. And if I was working I would be starting at 10.

I am absolutely drained, my pregnancy has taken it out of me. I'm signed off for pregnancy related sickness because of this. I'm just incapable to be up about for a long amount of time. Need to nap every few hours or whenever I need it otherwise I feel bloody terrible.

I don't have transport, I don't have money and things are extremely low in many aspects. I will just delete this if people start being insensitive.

OP posts:
TerfWarz · 23/03/2018 18:31

I don't mean to be insensitive, I understand that you are willing to go to the occupational health appointment (but need the one they have offered to be rearranged).

From what you are saying though, your employers also want to meet with you, and you are refusing to, is that right?

Why will you not say how long you have been off and how long your fit note is for?

QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 18:32

Most of us have been pregnant, and are aware of how exhausting it is. I can only base my opinion on how I read your comments - which do read very much like you're not accommodating them.
No intention of going back after mat leave
No intention of returning right now.

I ask about ssp and smp to ensure you're aware that you maynot be entitled to maternity pay from them if you're currently on ssp and have been for a long time. It is based on your average weekly earnings in a set period and not many people are aware of that.

Haveyou advised them of dates you CAN attend rather than just when you cant? They want you at work and to discuss how they can amend your duties to accommodate that probably.

SouthernComforts · 23/03/2018 18:40

Is there a reason you can't get a key cut between now and Wednesday?

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 18:44

Sorry it wasn't clear that you had suggested an alternative day.

We've given you practical advice on what to consider, no one has been insensitive but tbf I do appreciate that pregnancy hormones etc are rife! And it is exhausting, I've not met a pregnant women yet who isn't drained, literally :)

I have been there. HG with ds1 and severe SPD with ds2. I also had a miscarriage requiring me to be signed off work.

It does sound like there could be some adjustments explored. Phased return to work, temp reduction in hours, provision of a rest area for you.

Are you definitely entitled to MA?

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 18:44

Sorry I must have missed it when scrolling. I've been signed off for about 10 weeks now, intermittent for about 2 of them. I'm currently signed off till end of next week, my doctors says to just keep in contact every now and again to see how I'm feeling and then renews it.

I gather most have been pregnant considering the kind of website this is and why I've asked this advice here, however I'm talking about more from my perspective. To be honest they probably are trying to get rid of me as I wasn't even there that long before I found out I was pregnant.

I'm more comfortable to go to the occupational health appointment as I feel they will take what I say more seriously and how I'm feeling etc and then they will go to them and say im not suitable to work seeing as they only take what I say with a pinch of salt :(

I probably sound like I'm uncooperative because of how much stress this is causing me. I'm quite wound up which is why this is just a big problem for me, I don't want to stress and don't want my baby to feel me stressing.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 18:45

We're not allowed an extra key cut as we are in temporary accommodation

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 23/03/2018 18:45

Any decent manager should try to arrange regular 'catch up' calls with colleagues who are on long-term sickness absence - obviously at a convenient times and intervals for the colleague, taking into consideration the limitations of their illness.

It has nothing to do with pressuring colleagues to return - it's about showing you care about how they're feeling and making them feel supported and comfortable about coming back once their doctor agrees they're well enough to do so. It's also a chance to discuss adjustments that might be needed to accommodate long-term conditions.

I would be shocked by any manager who simply ignored a colleague for the duration of their sick note.

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 18:48

Sorry to hear that lovesagin, like I said in my previous reply I'm just stressed so it's probably coming across bad.

I'm not too sure to be honest, I'm going to go down to my jobcentre because work have given me the maternity allowance form to hand in so will check with them then.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 23/03/2018 18:48

If you are not able to travel into work for a meeting then could they come to you?

Bohemond · 23/03/2018 18:50

Sorry, no sympathy from me - you are taking the piss.

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 18:54

Ok, so treat the OH appt and the work meeting as two separate things. OH will assess you to see if you can return to work with adjustments, and work will just want to catch up to maintain that reasonable contact, because if they didn't, and something we're to happen, the question would be asked why they didn't follow up on their duty of care to an absent employee. They may even want to suggest adjustments to you directly that they have thought of.

It may be that they want rid, but you need to work with them to make sure that doesn't happen otherwise it may affect your MA, are you definitely entitled to it? You've worked the qualifying number of weeks and earned the weekly amount needed etc etc?