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Original poster

Signed off sick, work still pressuring me

101 replies

SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 16:32

Hi everyone,

So basically I am signed off work and have been for a while. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and struggling in regards to fatigue, sickness (sometimes) and generally adjusting to my new body and baby is draining me! However, work are contacting me almost daily trying to get me to attend meetings with them. I have no intention to go back to work right now as I have enough strain as it is.they want me to attend occy health appointment but when I said can't attend at the time provided, they've made a massive fuss and said they can't rearrange!

I just want them to leave me alone, but I don't know how to go about it? I Will speak to my doctor in hope they could maybe advise as they're really stressing me out and I struggle with depression and things as it is.

If anyone can offer advise, please do? I may consider quitting but don't want this to effect my maternity allowance (not entitled to smp) so if anyone has experience of leaving during pregnancy please share :)

Sorry it's long winded but thank you x

OP posts:
Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 18:59

And op, it does get better, another couple of weeks and you may well find this general yuckiness passes. You say you are only feeling sick sometimes and the rest is general fatigue etc - OH will definitely be able to recommend some adjustments to enable you to get back to work, more breaks, reduced hours, phased return, alt duties etc

TerfWarz · 23/03/2018 19:05

Okay, so you've been off quite a while then.

I used to have weekly telephone conversations and do a home visit every other month for my long term sick employees. It's not just to check up on you for put pressure on you to come back before you're ready. It's to keep you up to date on things at work too so that you don't feel like you've missed out on things or been kept in the dark.

What are you doing to improve your situation so you can go back to work? Or do you just not want to?

Is it work that is stressful?

Itscurtainsforyou · 23/03/2018 19:07

I believe pregnancy-related sickness is treated differently to regular sickness in some ways. For example I would be surprised if they could sack you for prolonged sickness related to pregnancy. It would also be short-sighted as (hopefully) any pregnancy-related sickness will go once no longer pregnant (i.e. Not an ongoing illness).

It is definitely worth speaking directly to occupational health to arrange a meeting. Then hopefully your communication with your manager will be limited to letting them know you've spoken to them and they should receive a report soon.

flowery · 23/03/2018 19:09

You’re only allowed one key between two adults? That seems ridiculous- how would any working couple manage that?

If your partner will be on nights, surely he will be at home therefore no need for you to have a key anyway?

How would you manage if you weren’t signed off sick?

lifechangesforever · 23/03/2018 19:11

You mention that you cant go because you have no money, how would you usually get to work?

OH can come to see you in your home - have you requested that instead of just a different date / time?

I don't think the employer is being unreasonable in this case, they have a duty of a care and will have procedures they need to follow for long term sickness - which will include a meeting with the manager as well as OH.

Also, do you still get paid as normal for being off sick, because it could affect your maternity leave, which is calculated on salary at the point of your qualifying week. It's a confusing area so I can't say for certain but definitely something to check out.

sportyfool · 23/03/2018 19:14

You do sound rather flaky , most of us have been pregnant!... you can't sign yourself off for being pregnant and tired without them questioning it .

Catsandkids78 · 23/03/2018 19:22

Call ACAS

Strawberry2017 · 23/03/2018 19:26

It's more likely that they want you to speak to occupational health so they can see if you can do alternative duties or if they can do anything to accommodate you.
I'm sorry you are struggling but you can't just stay off sick your entire pregnancy.
Yes it's hard, yes it's exhausting but so is having a baby and if you stay off too long they can force you on to maternity leave early depending on your work policy and then you would have to go back earlier then you wanted. Even if it's just so you don't have to pay back your maternity pay.
I'm currently on maternity with a 3 month old and I totally get it, but I also think you are going to have to toughen up and do something about it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/03/2018 19:28

Sorry I had to laugh generally adjusting to my new body Grin Confused. You give pregnant women in the workplace a bad name.

Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 19:29

Acas would only confirm that what they are doing is fine but it may help alleviate your stress to know this op so it might be a good shout actually.

NorthernLurker · 23/03/2018 19:35

There's nothing wrong with what your employer is asking. Your sickness rate is now very high and your justification is poor. You seem to be off because you're pregnant. Are you still on full pay? I would be pushing you to engage with me too if I was your manager. Long term sickness absence has an impact on your mental health as well as on productivity.
You need to go back to work tbh.

Ginger1982 · 23/03/2018 19:37

If you're worried about attending the meeting with your boss could you take a friend or your DP with you for support?

RestingBitchFaced · 23/03/2018 19:57

Sorry you sound like your taking the piss. You want to keep your job, for them to leave you alone with no contact so you can claim maternity pay. Do you have any intention of going back to work before you have the baby?

Rejoiner · 23/03/2018 20:10

I’m struggling to see why you are signed off just for being pregnant but if you have managed to get a GP to support you then fine. However you don’t seem to want to work and have decide that being pregnant means you can just rely on others to support you.

If you have only been with the company for a short while I am sure they are fed up with you and just want to know if you are likely to be able to return to work with adjustments or if it would be better to han* on until you start your maternity leave

makeitalargegin · 23/03/2018 20:16

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lifechangesforever · 23/03/2018 20:20

Also, I'm 23 weeks pregnant and I'm knackered and could do with 3-4 naps a day too but I have to go to work, which includes a 45 minute bus commute each way.

It's what we have to do, it's not an illness (as hard as it is!) I'm thankful I haven't had sickness but even then, I suppose I'd just have to get on with it, if it wasn't HG - which is completely different.

CotswoldStrife · 23/03/2018 20:23

OP, people disagreeing with you are not being insensitive - far from it. You need to consider how you are coming across to your company. The key thing is ridiculous, ask the landlord to get another one cut even if they charge you for it.

How long have you worked there in total? Has most of your service with them been sick leave? Are you signed off for pregnancy reasons or for mental health reasons (you mention depression).

I don't see why you have refused the OH appointment - there's no reason why you couldn't make it, it's within normal work hours so you must have the finance and ability to make it - you'd normally be out at that time anyway so what difference does the key make?

From what you've said on here, whether you spoke to a Union or ACAS I don't think they'd say your employer has been unreasonable. Far from it.

NewIdeasToday · 23/03/2018 20:31

Your work sound entirely reasonable in wanting to meet you and find out what’s going on. Pregnancy is a condition not an illness and you can’t be off work just because you’re pregnant - that would take women’s fight for equality back a hundred years.

If you would normally be in work then why can’t you attend a meeting next Wednesday? If you were at work you’d have to sort out the key issue so just do the same and get on with it.

Original poster
SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 20:44

You guys seem to think I'm doing this for the money? Haha! I'm seriously not. I'm not working as I'm incapable to work for many reasons related to my pregnancy. I get ssp, often less because they've messed up my pay several times. My partner supports me and he's more than happy too as he knows how tough the pregnancy is for me.

I don't care about the pay I'm not a scrounger like most. You guys love to jump on the bandwagon when one person starts- reflect back to how supportive people were in the start. Toxic community it seems I won't be posting here again.

OP posts:
eurochick · 23/03/2018 20:46

I'm also struggling to see what your employer has done wrong. They seem to have been pretty tolerant. A lot of people spend pregnancy feeling like they have been hit by a truck but carry on. If you think you are abnormally tired you should have your iron levels checked, or just take some spatone and see if that picks you up a bit.

I think you need to sort the key situation and go to the meeting.

TittyGolightly · 23/03/2018 20:57

Have your employers already told you you aren’t eligible for SMP?

StopPOP · 23/03/2018 21:00

I also think you should sort the key thing and attend the meeting.

And how can it not be about the money when you said in your opening post I may consider quitting but don't want this to effect my maternity allowance (not entitled to smp) ? Hmm Confused

You're defensive because people are pointing out that you're clearly coming across as though you're not arsed about the job, not interested in what they have to say (and they are not unreasonable), not interested in the fact they could well be trying to support you by making reasonable adjustments etc etc.

I hope your tiredness improves, though, get used to it, it'll be tenfold once the baby arrives Grin

Mummyh2016 · 23/03/2018 21:01

Just because people disagree with you doesn’t mean everyone’s jumping on the bandwagon. If you’re getting MA rather than SMP that indicates to me that you were pregnant before you started working there. Now in my job it takes around 4-6 months to learn the job properly. That’s with someone sitting next to you for that time, checking your work and helping you. If you started at my work and announced you were pregnant more or less straight away management would be pissed off. By the time you’ve learnt the job you’d be going on maternity leave. I’ve returned back to work this week from ML and it will likely take me another few weeks to get up to speed from having 9 months off. I’ve been there 7 years so it could take someone who was only there for 4-6 months before going on ML that time again to learn the job again. What a waste of time. You don’t seem to want to go to work; I’d look into if you qualify for MA already, and if so hand in your resignation.

QforCucumber · 23/03/2018 21:06

People are getting their backs up because, as I've said before, we've all been pregnant and managed to work woth your symptoms. I did 8-4, home by 4:30, slept for 1.5 hours. Ate then in bed by 9 and slept to 7am for the first 4 months of pregnancy - because that's what I had to do.
Work were accommodating, but it's give and take. You've said you refuse to meet with your manager, and will only meet with OH on your terms. You know you're not their boss right?

TittyGolightly · 23/03/2018 21:10

OP, are you perhaps deflecting other home-based issues on your workplace?