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Original poster

Signed off sick, work still pressuring me

101 replies

SunshineYouAreMySunshine · 23/03/2018 16:32

Hi everyone,

So basically I am signed off work and have been for a while. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and struggling in regards to fatigue, sickness (sometimes) and generally adjusting to my new body and baby is draining me! However, work are contacting me almost daily trying to get me to attend meetings with them. I have no intention to go back to work right now as I have enough strain as it is.they want me to attend occy health appointment but when I said can't attend at the time provided, they've made a massive fuss and said they can't rearrange!

I just want them to leave me alone, but I don't know how to go about it? I Will speak to my doctor in hope they could maybe advise as they're really stressing me out and I struggle with depression and things as it is.

If anyone can offer advise, please do? I may consider quitting but don't want this to effect my maternity allowance (not entitled to smp) so if anyone has experience of leaving during pregnancy please share :)

Sorry it's long winded but thank you x

OP posts:
Lovesagin · 23/03/2018 21:16

Ok op, so youre saying you genuinely can't work, not that you don't want to just to get the ssp. That's good, because there are loads of things that you and your employer can do to facilitate your return to work in some capacity. Meet with OH, have a think beforehand what would make things easier for you at work and meet with your employer off-site somewhere neutral. Work with them to help you get back to earning, must be stressful for you, especially as you're worried about not getting MA.

And honestly, you'll start feeling better soon and this will all seem a distant memory. We've all been there! Do check youre definitely entitled to MA though, can't tell you how many ladies I've come across that have had a shock to find out they don't qualify.

LoveProsecco · 23/03/2018 22:07

YABU fit all the reasons mentioned above

lougle · 24/03/2018 00:06

"To be honest they probably are trying to get rid of me as I wasn't even there that long before I found out I was pregnant."

The OP will almost certainly be entitled to Maternity Allowance. She's 22 weeks pregnant, which means she's been employed for at least 18 weeks while pregnant. She only has to be employed for 26 weeks out of the last 66 before her due date. So, that's any 26 from her pregnancy or the 26 weeks (6 months) before it. It would be a brave employer that dismissed an employee that has a sick note stating pregnancy related exhaustion/fatigue/sickness. Even if she didn't have 8 weeks before her positive pregnancy test (I'd imagine at least 4 weeks before), she'll have at least a few weeks more, and can go on Mat leave in 7 weeks.

For Mat leave, it's the best 13 weeks payslips, not necessarily consecutive. OP didn't go sick until 10 weeks pregnant, so has at least 6 really good weeks, plus whatever she has before her positive test, and any she may have had from a previous employer. Or SSP.

OP, do cooperate. Don't be scared. If you can't work, tell your employer. You are raising suspicion because your are avoiding contact. Meet with them and explain that you are not having a 'glowing' pregnancy. Let them be reassured that you are not just avoiding them.

daisychain01 · 24/03/2018 05:49

If you started at my work and announced you were pregnant more or less straight away management would be pissed off.

Let's not generalise about management being "pissed off", it's irrelevant. Thank goodness we have good supportive employment rights in this country that mitigates against negative management retaliating against a woman who does something perfectly legal which is to gain employment when they are pg.

OP as previously stated by numerous PPs, you will find it in your best interests and for your baby, to get as much support from your employers as possible by engaging with them, at the time they have asked to meet you (ie not making excuses about keys, DPs night shifts etc etc) and not seeing them as pressurising you when they are doing what a good employer is expected to, which is to keep in touch and understand your situation.

People on here are straight talking, because it's important you know the reality. If all we said was "there, there" platitudes, we would be letting you down as a woman in the workplace. You need the truth.

flumpybear · 24/03/2018 06:04

I don't think the OH appointment is an unreasonable request on you and your reason for not going sounds pretty lame to be frank, how on earth can two people cope with 1 key working opposite shifts you either need to tell the temp accommodation people or sort yourselves out so you can cope with living and working

Maybe I've missed it but I can't work out what's wrong with you that you're off for such a long time in pregnancy?

kentgirl1 · 24/03/2018 06:18

Are you sure you're entitled to mat leave? My job you had to be there 26 weeks before being entitled to pay.

Mummyh2016 · 24/03/2018 07:32

Daisy I’ve explained in my post the reasons why they would be pissed off. If OP doesn’t work in a job that requires extensive training then the odds are my comment about management being pissed off is irrelevant. As she’s not eligible for maternity pay her MA will be paid by the government so if she is in a job that no training is req for it shouldn’t really affect her employer as it’s not costing them anything.
I doubt she’ll be back anyway.

Flatwhite32 · 24/03/2018 07:50

@SunshineYouAreMySunshine I agree that people can be unkind on here. I do think it would help people's understanding though (and avoid the 'pregnancy isn't an illness' comments) if you said why you are signed off. Have you got high blood pressure? HG? SPD? An autoimmune condition? I know you might want to keep this to yourself, but I do think people would be more understanding if they knew. I'm nearly 23 weeks pregnant too and working full time as a primary school teacher of 31 kids, so I completely understand the exhaustion, but I would hope you would gain more support by helping us understand why you can't work.

feathermucker · 24/03/2018 07:59

You have to engage with them in some aspect though.

Your manager will have a policy to follow and it sounds like they are doing just this.

TerfWarz · 24/03/2018 08:25

My comments on disciplinary action arise from my own workplace policy, where failing to follow the sickness absence policy and engage with the employer whilst off sick would be classed as misconduct.

You've been off 10 weeks more or less, I don't know how frequently your employer has been trying to get in touch with you or for how long they've been asking you to see the OH. But you can't just go on sick leave and not engage with your employer on how long you might be off for, can you not see that?

You were employed to do a job, that in your absence they have to cover. If it's a short absence, they might be able to deal with it with existing resources - but if they had known you might be off this long, they might have looked at making other arrangements.

It's hard to know what advice to give, which is presumably why you posted here, when you are not giving us many details but I understand you may not be comfortable doing that.

Hopefully you'll realise from the posts here that your employer is not being unreasonable, that engaging with them doesn't necessarily mean you'll have to go back to work if you are not medically fit to do so.

But if you're just tired and feeling out of sorts (been there, it's tough but you just get on with it), I'm afraid you'll either have to go back to work or resign - you can't just go on the sick because you're pregnant and tired, and I'm unimpressed that a GP would sign you off for it.

sportyfool · 24/03/2018 09:32

I don't think you are doing it for money , I think if you are 'just ' pregnant you are setting back women in the workplace 20 years !! ...

JaneEyre70 · 24/03/2018 12:32

If you have no intention of going back, then do the decent thing and resign. Have you thought that you are being pressured because you've walked out of your job and presumably someone is having to cover for you? You're only seeing your side of things, and I'm sorry to sound harsh but being pregnant is not an excuse for not being able to work. You are being deliberately difficult and I'd imagine they are getting very frustrated. Try seeing both sides here and engage with them, not ignore. Long term absence is a nightmare for an employer to try and deal with.

VimFuego101 · 24/03/2018 12:42

Is there a specific health issue other than pregnancy and the associated tiredness that is preventing you from working? If not, then they're assuming you will be back shortly and covering their backs with regards to making sure you have a safe working environment and that they can help you adjust on your return to work. I'm not sure why that's an issue or why you are trying to avoid meeting with them. What would happen with regards to your benefits/ MA if they terminated your employment?

bakingaddict · 24/03/2018 12:49

I was off for basically the whole of my pregnancy, first morning sickness then anaemia then pre-natal depression. I’m sure I was the talk of the workplace but quite frankly I used to submit my sick notes each month and e-mail the office manager informing them I’d been signed off for another month. They never contacted me at home and I’ve kicked up a fuss if someone was badgering me while signed off.

Maybe when you get your next note drop them an e-mail informing them and say your not up to any meetings. Pregnancy related illness is different to normal workplace illness and not subject to the same rules. Clarify with HR what is legitimately expected of you in this scenario

M2321 · 24/03/2018 12:52

Some people are shocking on this? What's going on man.

Do yourself a favour OP look after yourself and your baby, work can be replaced!! My boss was a arse to me when I was pregnant too, the contacting all time makes u more anxious and less likely return. Go to doctor and get longer line, i was ill first time pregnant second time fine, so don't let what ppl say on here get to you! We all different!!

All the best Flowers

bakingaddict · 24/03/2018 12:52

Of course the OP must have a legitimate medical reason for being signed off. GP’s have strict guidelines governing signing people off sick and themselves get monitored if they are doing it to often. I think those accusing OP of just being pregnant and not going to work are a bit harsh and don’t know her full medical situation

JediStoleMyBike · 24/03/2018 12:52

I wish I could get a doctor to sign me off SAHP duties including running around after my LO. 23 weeks pregnant myself and could do with a few naps a day!

BakedBeans47 · 24/03/2018 12:55

If the appointment is scheduled in time you’d ordinarily be working it doesn’t sound unreasonable to expect you to go.

BakedBeans47 · 24/03/2018 12:59

Tbf OP you so sound like a bit of a nightmare. I know pregnancy can be difficult, I know some people can have real complications but can you not even see it a bit from their point of view? You sound obstructive and difficult and not engaging with them, preferring instead to just play the “pregnancy card”.

TittyGolightly · 24/03/2018 13:02

Of course the OP must have a legitimate medical reason for being signed off. GP’s have strict guidelines governing signing people off sick and themselves get monitored if they are doing it to often.

WTF?! No they don’t!

Eminybob · 24/03/2018 13:02

Op maybe it would help us to be more sympathetic if you explained in more detail the illness you are suffering and why you are unable to work, for example, do you have HG, SPD etc.
The symptoms you have so far described sound no different to any normal pregnancy. On and off sickness and fatigue? That’s actually quite mild compared to a lot of mums to be.
I’m sorry you are not feeling well, op, sadly pregnancy does that to us, but from the face of what you have said I can’t see any justification in you being signed off for so long.

BakedBeans47 · 24/03/2018 13:07

GP’s have strict guidelines governing signing people off sick and themselves get monitored if they are doing it to often.

Really?

At the end of the day if you go to your GPand tell them you feel too sick to go to work IME they’ll take you at your word and sign you off. They don’t know how you’re feeling so have to just take your word for it that you’re too unwell for work surely?

MaggieFS · 24/03/2018 13:23

If they're suggesting an OH appointment during what would be your normal working hours YABVU not to attend.

That's completely separate from asking you to attend other meetings which you don't need to do and you should be able to tell them to back off, but it sounds like you are unreasonably and unnecessarily avoiding all contact, so if I were them, I'd be suspicious too.

TittyGolightly · 24/03/2018 13:26

That's completely separate from asking you to attend other meetings which you don't need to do and you should be able to tell them to back off

Likely there’s a contractual obligation for the OP to attend sickness absence management meetings. She can’t just disappear off the face of the earth.

Commonly a meeting will be arranged once more. That second meeting happens in the individual’s absence if they don’t show up. And so on and so forth until they are dismissed.

MaggieFS · 24/03/2018 13:30

@TittyGolightly Yes, agree. I'd taken the other meetings to be about normal work stuff not absence related. OP definitely has to keep in touch and can't just disappear.

I'm trying not to judge on her deciding she can't work and how tough a pregnancy can be because everyone is different, but she really doesn't come across well.