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Original poster

Back to work baby is 15 weeks old

12 replies

amarchi · 29/06/2017 21:13

I am going back to full time work, my daughter will be 15 weeks old, really struggling to get my head round this as my first son I was with him for 6 months. I have to go back to work as I have had an awful seperation from my husband, and he is not contributing anything whatsoever, also we are overseas so no benefits and i am locked in a contract with huge financial penalties if i left early. Obviously I have bills to pay so hence going back early. Any mothers go back early and how did you cope? I was hoping to continue exclusively breastfeeding, so I will need to express at work, my daughters nursery isn't far so I will probably nip over to her at lunch and get one feed in.

OP posts:

Yeswecankle · 29/06/2017 21:16

I went back at 12 weeks. It was hard but not as awful as I'd feared. I had no choice (for different reasons), and I just had to make it work. I did, and it was okay. I also breastfeed exclusively and kept that going which actually helped me emotionally if I'm honest. You will be okay. I really do feel for you, the anticipation part was actually worse for me than the reality of doing it.

centreyourself · 29/06/2017 21:19

Good luck amarchi . for you. Sounds as though life is tough at the moment but you will get there. I'm glad the nursery is near your work. X

Solasum · 29/06/2017 21:20

It will be ok.

I worked full time from 16 weeks in a similar situation, part time from 12. It was necessary so I got on with it.

Will your DD take a bottle? Start trying now if not. Find childcare you are very happy with. Make your life as simple as possible for the moment. Don't feel guilty about eating the same things over and over. Be prepared for reverse cycling (baby refusing to eat much during the day then feeding all night). Re expressing, I did it at work for about 6 months. I was able to stretch it to just twice in a working day but could still feed normally at weekends. Not sure it is a great idea to pop to the nursery at lunchtime. It will mean you are clock watching all the time at work so won't be performing as well as you could. Also potentially upsetting for your DD and other children there whose parents don't come.

Make your long term plans. Can you come home without your husband's consent?

SaltyMyDear · 29/06/2017 21:22

I went back at 6 weeks and 8 weeks.

I don't feel I missed out on anything. My 3 are teenagers now and as brilliant as anything.

And they're all very close to me......

Original poster

amarchi · 30/06/2017 09:12

I could come back to the UK but with the financial penalties I will face leaving my contract early in addtion to having to look for a home back in London, I think it's easier to stay here. The nursery she will be attending is awesome, my son goes there, all the staff are really lovely, when I had to have an emergency csection they kept my son overnight, until my mum could leave the hospital to get him. They have also looked after my daughter when she was three weeks old ( I had to go to court for a domestic incident with my husband) they even refused to allow me to pay them. I guess I just feel really guilty leaving here, plus I have another colleague who had a baby at the same time as me and she is off for 7 months, at my work they were all shocked I'm coming back so early. With regards to breastfeeding I think it will be okay for me to pop into her nursery it's literally next door to me, I'm hoping I can manage two breastfeeds a day then I won't have to express at work, do you think my supply will drop ? I will Of course still have some expressed milk available if she wants more. I'm hoping to exclusively breastfeed till six months.

OP posts:

Solasum · 30/06/2017 09:16

While it would be possible for you to pop to the nursery, it is really better to try and focus on work at work. You won't be taken seriously if you are clock watching all the time.

I appreciate you have to go back in the first instance or risk financial penalties, but how long are you tied in for? Could you move home after that?

Original poster

amarchi · 02/07/2017 21:15

Solasum you are totally right, I had to go to work on Friday for one day, my daughter went to the nursery, all I could think about was going to breastfeed her, I did eventually go and breastfeed her, she only took one boob, and refused the other one, and went to sleep. I am tied in for another 9 months, then I am definitely leaving.

Yeswecankle how did you manage to keep breastfeeding exclusively ?

OP posts:

Solasum · 02/07/2017 21:23

I'm sorry amarchi. It is annoying I know. We mixed fed from when DS went to nursery, and that seemed to work really well. He didn't stop BF completely until 14mo either.

RandomMess · 02/07/2017 21:30

If you have to mix feed it isn't the end of the world, returning to work around that age was very much the norm until recently. You get used to it, the baby isn't bothered to have different carers so in some ways it's easier than when they are older.

CMOTDibbler · 02/07/2017 21:31

I went back to work FT when ds was 16 weeks old, and kept breastfeeding till he was 23 months. I expressed 3 times a day at work until he was 9 months old, then it dropped to 2 and then 1 (he was a total milk monster) - at all other times he fed direct. I managed to double pump while on my laptop/ drinking coffee/ having lunch, so no one really noticed I was taking the breaks. I'm not sure I could have dealt with going and feeding him and coming back, and he was used to being demand fed, which nursery were able to do with EBM.

Original poster

amarchi · 03/07/2017 17:50

Thanks guys, I think I just need to get over it, I will attempt to express as much as possible, I need to accept mix feeding isnt the end of the world. I wws breastfed for two weeks and my mum went back to work, I turner out okay (I think)

OP posts:

Babbitywabbit · 04/07/2017 19:32

I returned to work when dd1 was 12 weeks. It was 3 days a week but long days (teacher) so often I'd be dropping her at the childminder before 8am and picking up at 5.30 /6 pm

I kept bf going til around 6 months, feed early morning and then evening feeds plus expressed during day.

It's tough but perfectly doable and in fact very normal until recently when ML got longer

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