Help with writing reference for sacked nanny...

[Tanzie]

I have finally sacked my dreadful nanny who used to give my children cold stew, microwave fishfingers, leave the house in a complete tip (housework was part of her remit). I now need to give her a reference, and was thinking of writing something bland, just listing her duties.
I had one woman phone up about her - she wanted her to clean and look after her children after school. I said she would probably be OK on the cleaning front, as long as she was given specific instructions about what to do. I was honest about the children, but again said she might be better with older children. The woman said she hadn't had good vibes about her anyway and I had confirmed these! The other person she cleaned for has also sacked her as she was claiming tohave worked eg 8 hours and clearly hadn't done 8 hours work. She needs another job to support her family. I amjust not sure what to say...any idas?

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In the UK you're not allowed to give a bad reference but you're not in the UK are you? Could you just say something like 'she worked for me but I'm unable to give you a reference other than to confirm dates.' that would make it pretty loud and clear wouldn't it? Not sure where you are so not sure whether this would be allowed but hate the idea of other kids getting cold stew etc.

I think in these circumstances its best to just tell the nanny not to use you as a reference isn't it?

You are allowed to give a bad reference in the UK but it must be specific and objective and truthful; you can't just say someone was generally bad at their job. If someone was late every day and you have records to prove this, or records of disciplinary action you could choose to reveal this. However, it's dangerous territory as there is always the risk of legal action which is expensive even if you are right. So most employers faced with references for undesirable employees stick to confirming dates and job title/description rather than making comments, which in itself speaks volumes.

It is quite weird that she would give you as a reference if you sacked her, isn't it?

Gosh just had to do the same, she was still working for us and I had an agency and a lady phoning up for a reference. The lady had already offered her a job so I just kept her talking and tried not to be too specific.

On her written reference I wrote what her duties were and referred to the things that she did well. There were a couple of things.

Thank god she is gone.

Don't know if this your first nanny, but there are some good ones - we have had two before her.

I agree with others who have said simply write how long she had worked for you and what her duties were - if you do not say anything else - anyone who is astute will work it out and you have not said anything derogatory.

You could inform the people requesting references for your ex-nanny that you do not give references. you have more important things to think about like your children.

DLP - I like that idea! I was just going to be factual, say how long she had worked for me, what her duties were, and that I would be willing to give a telephone reference if needed.
I would imagine that that is when I would say, "Well she was supposed to do x, y and z, but actually spent most of her week lying on the sofa reading "Hello!" magazine while the kids sat in front of a video or mooched around doing their own thing."

It is quite upsetting to think about it all now. I have just remembered that as well as the cold food, she also gave them a cold bath one night in the winter. I came home from work, found them in the bath, with her sitting in the bedroom reading and took over. DD2 was blue and her teeth were chattering and when I felt the water it was freezing cold - didn't seem as if any hot water had been added at all. And she didn't seem remotely concerned when I pointed it out.

Be bland but also indicate that you would be happy to discuss further. When hiring I have always taken up phone references and these have always been very useful - you get a clearer idea of strengths and weaknesses, and the sorts fo niggles that come up.

As for needing to use you as a reference, I guess if she doesn't list you then there is a galring gap in her cv - another danger sign for any future employer!