Don't know what to do!!

[CaptainLimpet]

I am in a high stress job (banking) and have 1 dd (2) really want to leave my job as I can't cope with the commute any more, or the stress.

But I also am 36 and want a second child. Should I stay? It feels really dishonest to only stay for the maternity benefits. But if I don't we may never have another child. As by the time I have been in a new job long enough to qualify for maternity benefits, I will be 38/39 and that ship may have sailed.

What would you do?

People stay in jobs they hate for all sorts of reasons. Maternity pay is just one of them. If you can stick it out, do, just make sure you are familiar with any rules about paying back maternity pay if you don't return to work.

Thanks flowery. I was kind of hoping for redundancy as I have been with the company 15 years.

Does anyone know about redundancy during pregnancy? What would my situation be if I was made redundant while pregnant? Obviously no one else will employ me if I have a noticeable bump!

That is another concern, if I stay and was made redundant I suppose I would at least get a payout but probably would be unemployable.

If your employment ends after you've met the qualifying criteria for statutory maternity pay your employer has to pay it to you regardless of the fact that you are no longer employed by them.

It's perfectly lawful to make someone redundant when they are pregnant as long as the pregnancy is clearly not a factor in the decision. Most employers try to avoid doing so if possible because of the risk that the employee will feel the pregnancy was a factor even if it wasn't.

I was in your situation a number of years ago. I had a senior role in a very demanding and stressful profession which was not at all compatable with a work life balance, never mind a family life. I was miserable and the job and hours was significantly affecting my health.

I finally came to the decision that I needed a career change but stayed another 2 years for the maternity for my second child. It was longer than I intended as I suffered a number of miscarriages before having my second child. I left whilst on maternity leave and managed to find another job which was the best move j ever made. I then fell unexpectedly pregnant and wasn't entitled to any mat leave and so ended up in the situation I had tried to avoid last time. It was daunting but we cut our cloth accordingly and we of course were absolutely fine and nothing terrible happened.

I now have a much more balanced life with a less pressured, less demanding and more flexible job.

How long do you think you could stick it out for, if for whatever reason it was another 2 years before you went on maternity leave? If the stress is starting to significantly affect your health then is it worth staying? Maybe it's worth starting to look for another job to keep your options open. If you find something else that really suits you then you may decide it's worth it.

I wouldn't see it as just staying for maternity benefits. You are still earning your salary by working, whatever your motivation is.