Giving up work?

[HollyMclean]

Hi I'm looking for some advice.

I have suffered from depression/anxiety for most of my life and have learned to cope with it without medication now. Mostly I'm OK.

I'm a single parent and currently work full time but my job has become so stressful it's affecting my health. Last year I had to take 2 weeks off with panic attacks and was put on medication but I was back on track fairly quickly and off the meds within a couple of months. (I hate being on meds)

Things have got worse again though and I've just had a run in with my line manager and I really can't cope with the job anymore. There have been a lot of changes in the company recently and new higher management staff and there are now new targets and procedures that have made the job a lot more stressful. In fact staff were recently sacked for not following (new) correct procedures, I can't say what they were but it was something quite trivial. This recent run in with my LM has really affected me, he wasn't happy about an email I sent questioning some comments/changes he had requested in my dept, which I sent because I was out of the office the day he visited and only heard about these things second hand (no communication from him to me).

Anyway I have applied for a couple of other jobs but my anxiety has flared up and (this will sound ridiculous) last night I actually thought I was having a heart attack! My heart was racing, palpitations, I was so tired I couldn't lift my arms, felt sick, aching jaw and then my left arm went numb which freaked me out. I know it's most likely a panic attack (this morning my pulse was 118 bpm) and I'm due back in work tomorrow. The thought of leaving and going to interviews/starting a new job is filling me with dread. My confidence is so low and I feel so awful I just can't face a new job right now.

So I'm looking at giving up work completely. I've been working since I was 15 so it's not something I have ever done before but I've never felt this bad before either. The problem is I wouldn't want to claim jobseekers so I would be surviving on ctc and child benefit alone. This works out at about £150 a week. Am I being stupid considering this and has anyone else done the same?

(Sorry if this comes across as self pitying!)

If you elect to give up work, which it sounds like you are considering, it is important you realise the implications. Your ability to claim benefits is very much at risk, especially with even tighter criteria nowadays for benefits to apply.

I don't think running away and hiding is the right answer. You just need to rebuild your confidence. You quickly came off anxiety mess, so you know you can do it, its just a question of refocusing to work you will enjoy.

For now, I would stay with your current job, see if you can get back on track with your manager and meanwhile start looking at new opportunities but dont put yourself under pressure. Just see it as a fact-finding mission and meanwhile you may find that things get better at work anyway.

The palpitations and night time anxiety is not ridiculous, but it's a sign you are feeling out of control. If you can regain control then your anxiety levels will of course reduce.

Sorry anxiety meds that should say not mess

you may be entitled to esa, my partner was for a while,
he has anxiety and is on constant medication, he has recently started work, maybe you should consider taking medication daily, you should go to your gp and see what they suggest.

Thank you both.