Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

New job offer and six weeks pregnant

27 replies

user1491933480 · 11/04/2017 20:55

I have just had a new job offer and I found out I am six weeks pregnant (coil dislodged). I am an engineer for a Construction firm and the maternity benefits with most construction contractors are not great so wether I stay put or join the new company,I can only afford to be away from work for 4 months.
I will be 10 weeks when I start my new job, do I tell them considering the first trimester is the most risky? Am I obliged to let them know before I sign? I would rather prove myself first for at least 2 months and then tell them. The construction Industry is not very accommodating when it comes to women and pregnancy so I feel like I need to take care of my interests first. They know what they can and cannot get away with legally. Thank you

OP posts:

MaverickSnoopy · 12/04/2017 15:36

You don't have to tell your new employer that you are pregnancy until 15 weeks before your due date. However you should consider that if you don't tell them they can't carry out a risk assessment or make any necessary adjustments. You don't have to tell them before you sign your contract at all. The decision is entirely yours.

flossyfloss · 12/04/2017 16:30

Also you probably won't qualify for maternity pay with the new company if you're already that far pregnant when you start so you would only be entitled to leave and not pay - might get maternity allowance from the company though

flossyfloss · 12/04/2017 16:31

Sorry from the government not the company

Original poster

user1491933480 · 12/04/2017 18:20

Thank you MaverickSnoopy. I am not too bothered with the company maternity pay, it is not that great. The raise in salary will allow me to save quite a bit to make up for the shortfall for the 4 months. I am hoping to tell them maybe at 18 weeks. The job opportunity is just one of those that a girl cannot miss.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1491933480 · 12/04/2017 18:23

Thank you flossyfloss. I am just annoyed that as women we have to worry about being discriminated because of pregnancy. I should be celebrating both the job and new baby, but I think I will only properly do it after I let the cat out of the bag. What a nightmare.

OP posts:

flossyfloss · 12/04/2017 18:44

It is so sad that discrimination still goes on so I think your right to keep your cards close to your chest for now. Congratulations!

Original poster

user1491933480 · 12/04/2017 20:38

Thanks flossyfloss, I think I will come back in about 3 months and let you all know how it all went down.

OP posts:

user1492428652 · 17/04/2017 18:38

I am too in a similar position, I started a new job 4 weeks ago, and have my dating scan next week. Which is when I plan to announce to the world, but I am so scared to tell my new employer and worrying what repercussions it may have on my position in the company. This should be a happy time and I should be looking forward to telling friends and family

Original poster

user1491933480 · 17/04/2017 20:50

user1492428652, I know the feeling. All O have done is worry. Like you I will probably tell tem after the dating scan and hope it goes well. Only then may I be able to fully celebrate this little one. Please let me know how it goes for you.

OP posts:

user1492428652 · 18/04/2017 07:44

user1492428652, I know exactly how you feel, we should be so excited about our news but, this is just hanging over me. Dating scan tomorrow so fingers crossed for the reveal at work 🙈. Although it will be nice to stop wearing a scarf over my bump and clothes 2 sizes bigger to hide it 😩. I will let you know the outcome once the deed is done.
Good luck to you, and congratulations on your wonderful news x

MaverickSnoopy · 18/04/2017 08:10

I completely understand wanting to wait to tell them. I would suggest telling them if you start to show. You will be immediately protected. In the case of any discrimination, if you hadn't told them and they figured it out, they could make up a false reason for getting rid of you and obviously could say they had no idea you were pregnant because you hadn't told them. Disclaimer I am one of life's worriers.

You should however remember that you were selected because you were the right person for the job. Show them your worth and I'm sure everything will be fine.

WestWithTheSun · 18/04/2017 08:15

My friend was offered a job with a big baby food company, and told them she was in the early stages of pregnancy before signing the contract. The contract never arrived, and resulted in many months of stress before she was eventually paid off as a result of the discrimination she suffered. She got some money, but not enough to compensate her for the time she spent without an income, the stress of the case, and then having to go out and look for a new job with a new baby in tow. Part of her deal was to not disclose who the employer was, as it would be incredibly damaging to their reputation as a family-friendly company.

So yes, there are laws in place to protect you. But I would still only tell them once the ink has dried.

Original poster

user1491933480 · 18/04/2017 19:32

MaverickSnoopy I completely understand. I am a bit on the biggish side and hopefully with the right clothes I will at least do a few weeks before the big reveal. I am confident I can do the job, just not confident with the Industry I work in. I will tell them before they ask.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1491933480 · 18/04/2017 19:34

Oh WestWithTheSun, that was terrible for your friend. I can imagine going through the whole legal process whilst pregnant. I am definitely not telling them until ink is dry and have done at least 4 weeks of work. Trying to keep healthy I tend to just balloon 🙈🙈

OP posts:

welshweasel · 18/04/2017 19:40

I accepted a new job the day I found out I was pregnant and started at 10 weeks. Very much a mans world. I wanted to prove myself before telling work. Ended up letting them know at 19 weeks as I was starting to show. No one had guessed. Everyone was very supportive once they found out but I did get treated differently. Took 4 months mat leave and went back full time. Within a week or two it was like I'd never been off.

Original poster

user1491933480 · 18/04/2017 20:06

welshweasle, I am planning to do just that, 4 months max. What do you mean they treated you differently? Did they not think you'd come back? It is a man's world, we just have to work that extra bit harder. Thanks for sharing that has made me feel a lot better.

OP posts:

welshweasel · 18/04/2017 21:08

I guess they were a bit more protective of me, which was lovely but I didn't want special treatment as I felt physically fine. It's difficult to articulate, it just changed the dynamic a bit. But everything went back to normal once I was back at work. I shouldn't have worried so much really!

Original poster

user1491933480 · 18/04/2017 21:23

welshweasle that is so sweet. I will definitely give some feedback in about 2 months.

OP posts:

MrsC2012x · 20/04/2017 05:55

Hiya, just wanted to let you know I told the person that hired me yesterday, he was fine, just need to tell my manager now. Wish me luck for today x

Original poster

user1491933480 · 20/04/2017 17:28

Awww MrsC2012x I am so happy for you. Hope it goes well with the manager.

OP posts:

MrsC2012x · 22/04/2017 07:59

All is well with Management too 🙌🏻 I just feel I really need to prove myself now so working extra hard lol x good luck to you x

MrsC2012x · 03/05/2017 07:26

Hi, I was just wondering how you were getting on? X

Original poster

user1491933480 · 07/05/2017 20:00

Hi MrsC2020x. Where do I start? I start new job on the 30th. I have another scan tomorrow because in the last one which was meant to only make 100% sure that the coil was not there, they picked up that there was no heart beat and were a bit concerned as in 7+ weeks, it should be visible with a vaginal ultrasound. It could be one of 2 things, either my dates are wrong and it was a bit early to detect heart beat or things have not progressed well and I need to have a termination 🙁. I find out tomorrow as I should be 9+ weeks now.

OP posts:

MrsC2012x · 08/05/2017 08:32

Oh I am so sorry to hear this, bless your heart, hopefully you have your dates mixed up and aren't as far along as you thought. Hoping and praying for you for tomorrow, x

Original poster

user1491933480 · 09/05/2017 18:26

MrsC2012x, not good news I am afraid. No heartbeat still. I have been booked in for a temination early next week. I guess it was not meant to be this time. At least I won't have to worry with the new job. It is still hard pill to swallow.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2